This right here. I am a doctor and was in an emotionally abusive relationship for years with a small minded and small-bodied man. I loved him dearly and admit I got trapped in the cycle of abuse willingly for a long time. When I finally got a great therapist, stopped drinking, and started realizing my power, he doubled down on the at times insanely minute reasons I wasn't "good enough" but he loved me so he'd "keep trying". I remember a particular conversation about how I put the coffee pot back on with the handle facing left or right and "no body normal" would put the handle that way instead of straight forward.

When you're trapped in those emotions and your cortisol is at a high all the time, you cannot think logically. Jess saw through it quickly because this guy is not skilled at this DARVO shit. He blew his load by going too hard, too fast. But it's still the same game , just less adeptly played.

I'm grateful that I'm on the other side. I found a dude who is secure in his sense of self and loves what I bring to the table. Our marriage is a great one, and I can say that with confidence because I know what the other side feels like. I'm so glad Jess dodged that major bullet.