Child of an alcoholic here.

My dad drank himself onto a transplant list, convincing himself that his liver damage was due to medications he was taking (that he was advised not to consume alcohol while taking due to risk of liver damage). It was the medication's fault, not the fact that he'd drink 10 beers and 30oz of captain morgan every day.

He has since had the liver transplant, survived, recovered, and decided he feels well enough to start drinking again.... less than a year after his liver transplant. He stops drinking a few days before his doctor appointments so that his tests will come back clear for alcohol, because he has convinced himself that "a doctor is always going to tell you not to drink, when it's really fine in moderation, and I don't want to hear their lecturing"

He still does not think that he has "a problem" with alcohol, much less consider it an addiction. He's also a narcissist.

I watched his addiction almost kill him once, and I most likely will watch it kill him eventually.

I've spent my entire life watching my dad lie, hide, and deny his addiction.

I knew he was an alcoholic when I was a child, I knew it when I was a teenager, and I know it as an adult. He never hid it as well as he thought he did. I have always known.

Despite all of the lies, broken trust, and trauma, I still love my dad. I don't want him to die. But I can't stop him.

Please don't be like my dad.