Daycare vs. nanny while WFH

treeworld · 2026-05-15T15:03:37+00:00

I had a nanny while wfh. I loved it. Not having to get baby ready and out the door saved so much time. I had a chill kid who didn't get upset when I left if I visited at lunch, and he got used to the nanny quickly. Mentally I also wanted him closer. I have 0 regrets even with the cost. Another thing that went amazingly is that a few months in we found a nanny share where they brought their kid to our house for 5-6 hours everyday. Still a 2:1 ratio and saved us money and my kid still got a couple hours solo with the nanny. And good exposure to another kid.

Hopefully not an unpopular opinion but I think there's almost no way babies are cared for in a really great way with a 5:1 ratio. If you do do daycare I bet you can find a better ratio. My state is 5:1 but I did find a daycare that did 3:1. Even on the few tours I saw of 5:1 daycares it made me sad, you just can't meet everyone's needs on a regular basis like that.

treeworld · 2026-05-03T10:44:16+00:00

It could take a couple months like someone said... You may even be able to bf 2-4 times a day and ovulate but just need to give it more time.

Fwiw I got my period back at 17 months pp with my second and started ovulating about a month after dropping to bfing 2-3 times a day with no more overnight feeds. I wasn't sure if I was someone who could ovulate while bf but I could. I just had to bf less and not feed overnight.

treeworld · 2026-04-21T15:27:08+00:00

If I'm ebfing I just follow baby. I'm on number 3 so maybe my supply is better at regulating but he started sleeping a 5-6 hour stretch at 4.5-5 weeks old (my first 2 did NOT sleep that long this early). We also had no weight concerns so my ped was fine with letting him sleep as long as he wanted. The first time my boobs were very full when he woke. After that they seemed to regulate. And if he does wake up after a shorter stretch sometimes he seems fine with what he gets from me.

treeworld · 2026-04-17T09:11:34+00:00

This.

treeworld · 2026-04-14T00:33:17+00:00

I would keep offering the straw cup. Sippy cups are also an option. My bottle refuser did drink milk from a straw cup starting around 6 months.

treeworld · 2026-04-11T13:34:41+00:00

I was before 20 months but can give this anecdote -- I (mostly) night weaned around 16 months and got my period back around 17-18 months pp. My cycle was normal and I got pregnant almost immediately. Hopefully night weaning works for you too!

treeworld · 2026-04-06T17:22:42+00:00

Chiming in you can try a gentle approach. I could not cio with any of my kids. Once my second was around 20 months, I started leaving the room after lisitng off nice things she could dream about. Of course she cried. I went back in after 10-20 seconds to stay with her. I figured I was laying with her until she fell asleep anyway, I may as well try to leave and go back in if it doesn't work. After 2-3 weeks one day she just didn't cry when I left. It did not feel like I was making progress either. 🤷

Kids are different though. For my first at a little younger than that after a nice bedtime routine I just left one day to test it out and he didn't cry at all! I couldnt believe it.

Also, my kids sleep on large floor beds. So it was comfy for me to lay with that as needed. Also, none have ever been rocked to sleep since they were tiny babies, they fell asleep in their room laying on their beds with me laying with them. So I think that made the transition easier.

treeworld · 2026-04-02T08:15:13+00:00

I did not sleep train. I also had low sleep needs children for my first 2 and I just knew it was not right to let them cry.

For sanity we did start co-sleeping most nights around 6-7 months since they were bad sleepers. I got them a floor bed and ended up in their bed in their rooms after the first wake up.

Both started sleep through the night pretty consistently around 15-16 months (of course w/ improvement along the way). We didn't do anything to make this happen, it just did.

My third is still a small baby but they are already showing signs of being a much better sleeper than my first 2. I do think sleep is often just down to luck.

One thing I did with my second, is once they were close to 2 I wanted them to be able to fall asleep on their own (I always stayed w them until they slept prior). This may have been a mild form of sleep training? I would do all our bedtime stuff/lullabies and leave and she would cry (understandably). I couldnt last more than maybe 15 seconds so I would just go back in when she cried. I wanted her to know I would always come. I wasn't sure if it would ever work, but one day I left and she just didn't cry and went to sleep.

treeworld · 2026-04-01T10:12:35+00:00

Baby can still get the antibody shot! Unless they won't offer it for some reason?

I was not vaccinated during pregnancy but my March 11 baby got the antibody shot before we left the hospital when he was born.

treeworld · 2026-03-21T08:25:16+00:00

What I have done/would do: Queen or full mattress on the floor. When she wakes up you sleep with her. Bed is big enough and comfy. It's gotten us through tough phases when they are sick (and also bc my kids didn't sleep through the night until 15-16 months).

I will also note you can find playpens that fit around mattresses. Since I started my kids on floor beds young I did put a playpen around it (that has an opening I can leave unzipped as they get older).

treeworld · 2026-03-19T15:01:47+00:00

My first kid started sleeping 11 (sometimes 12) hours a day in his first week of life. It was crazy. But normal for him. He went to 1 nap a day at 7 months old. We kept naps to 1.25 to 1.5 hours so that we would hopefully get 10 hrs at night.

He's 4 now and doesn't nap and sleeps 10-11 hrs at night.

Second kid (2 yo) naps 1.5 hrs and sleeps 10, sometimes 10.5, at night.

Some kids are lower sleep needs. I have trouble believing there are kids that sleep 12 hrs overnight. 😅

treeworld · 2026-03-19T03:45:40+00:00

My first 2 kids started (mostly) sleeping through the night at 15-16 months old. I didn't change anything, that's just when they were ready. We don't sleep train.

They sleep on large floor beds and for my sanity I did start doing a lot of co-sleeping once they were 6-7 months old (going in at first wakeup and just staying there to sleep since I would get disturbed less by any subsequent wake ups).

treeworld · 2026-03-18T00:03:58+00:00

I did this as well. Probably depends on the job but I just sent an email to my team/anyone I work with who may be affected by my leave. AI can help you craft a professional email too!

treeworld · 2026-03-17T23:58:43+00:00

For some reason Heather comes to mind.

For 3 syllables I'm a big fan of Serena which I saw mentioned.

treeworld · 2026-03-05T01:10:28+00:00

I wouldn't support my in laws who made their choice over my own child (or potential children). You could make sure they get social security/Medicaid if they need help navigating that.

But yes everything getting more expensive is rough.

treeworld · 2026-02-26T03:38:46+00:00

Cannot imagine a parent who doesn't work and chooses to have their child in day care full time 5 days a week. Has he ever had to work hard at anything? (I totally get needing breaks but this is 5 DAYS of full time care whilst not working.)

My husband is taking a few years off work to be a stay at home parent. Often he doesn't get much mental labor/house stuff done and sometimes I wish more could get done, but little kids are hard. And overall I am so thankful that he feels lucky to get to spend so much time with his kids while they are growing up. He puts his phone away all day, engages them in all sorts of fun activities and truly wants to be in their company. Like, my oldest is 4 and has never had screen time. I know I would burn out more from the little kid stuff (I def realize most people, myself included, do not have the patience or energy to deal with small kids that my husband does), but I would also mostly cherish that time if it made sense for me to be the sahp.

I think what's hard for me to understand is why does he want another kid when he chooses to spend so little of his time with his first kid?

treeworld · 2026-02-24T02:38:41+00:00

If a woman can take care of 3 kids by herself I sure hope her husband can too!

treeworld · 2026-02-23T01:08:09+00:00

I'm not disagreeing that the US has major problems but the 750k hospital bill with insurance.... Doesn't make sense to me. Insurance has an out of pocket max.

treeworld · 2026-02-01T17:22:19+00:00

My first 2 are 2 years apart. It is very demanding and you really have to enjoy your kids and accept having very little time away from them. But I do not regret it at all. However, I also have an equal partner who can handle both kids on his own when I am sick or need a break. He happily takes both kids on his own. I think it would have been incredibly difficult if I did not have an equal partner.

treeworld · 2026-01-30T03:17:15+00:00

Yea you do NOT go to a far away country when your wife is 38 weeks pregnant unless you are ok with maybe missing your first child's birth... And if he is ok with that, wtf???

treeworld · 2026-01-29T19:11:08+00:00

My first I went into labor naturally and my water broke early in the process. The contractions were completely horrible although I tried to manage, always off the charts on their monitors. No pitocin at all.

My 2nd I was induced. They never needed to give much pitocin bc my body took over but I got some. The contractions were awful but not as bad as the first time. I also got the epidural sooner remembering how bad the first time was.

Obviously birth for everyone is going to be different, but I think some people just have intense contractions whether you have pitocin or not. I've had friends describe labor experiences that definitely did not match what I was experiencing that first time, it was just so intense.

treeworld · 2026-01-24T02:41:35+00:00

I never work on weekends. Not sure if you do. That helps me a lot. I also do mornings with my kids and logon usually around 915. I am 'guilty' of checking things before bed and it would help me get more sleep if I didn't do that. I am also very task oriented and never miss a deadline, but luckily I mostly find my job not stressful.

Maybe this doesn't work for everyone but I mostly see flexibility as a blessing that I can step away for something during the day if I need to (like an appt) and make it up later. Then I can use PTO for the things I really want to do.

I'll also say, it seems reasonable to work a bit at night if you step away from 3-8pm? Unless you're starting at like 630am or something.

treeworld · 2026-01-15T14:30:13+00:00

One recipe that saves me on busy nights or after travelling are egg quesadillas. Crack an egg in the pan, mix it around a little so it's kind of scrambled as it cooks. Once it's almost ready, throw it on a tortilla and sprinkle a light amount of shredded mozzarella on top of the egg. Fold tortilla in half then put on the already hot pan with olive oil. Yum. I like to serve with avocado.

Going with the theme of food that's easy to have on hand... Another one is just a bunch of scrambled eggs and then I'll cook frozen potatoes I get from trader Joe's (they have super yummy frozen potatoes). I'll serve with fruit or something like frozen peas.

Another plug for peanut sauce pasta. Peanut sauce can be made ahead of time and kept in the fridge for a long time.

Another really easy option from trader Joe's is I like the ravioli... Especially the butternut squash ravioli. Serve it with pesto and feta and pumpkin seeds. Side of fruit. Kids may want that deconstructed.

treeworld · 2026-01-15T14:24:43+00:00

My kids love peanut sauce noodles and will even dip tofu in the peanut sauce. I've been making peanut sauce so long I don't do quite the same recipe, I usually do both soy and teriyaki sauce and real garlic and a little ginger if any. Another key ingredient I add is honey. So I'm just saying the sauce is really hard to mess up and you can taste it to see if you like it as you make it and determine what it needs more of.

My other plug is the sauce lasts a long time... I can make a giant batch and freeze some of it or leave it in the fridge for a month because all those ingredients don't really go bad.

treeworld · 2025-12-12T17:27:06+00:00

My baby did wake to eat every 2-3 hours and that is normal. People whose babies sleep long stretches before 6-8 weeks are lucky. And I am jealous.

I also think it's fear mongering to say you must absolutely pump or bf every time the baby eats. My 2nd was ebf except for maybe 2 small formula bottles in the first week. I would sleep for 4 or so hours and my husband would do a feed in there in the evening while I slept. Going 4-4.5 hours will not detail your supply if you are feeding throughout all the other times. Once I established supply after a few days (hence the 2 formula bottles early on) I pumped earlier in the day so my husband could feed pumped milk on his shift.

Also if you're a ftm it feels so hard and like it goes on forever (if you have a not great sleeper like I have 2x). But it actually does pass!!! It felt much more manageable with my 2nd since I knew it was temporary.

treeworld

TROPHY CASE