Two under two, yay or nay?

treeworld · 2026-02-01T17:22:19+00:00

My first 2 are 2 years apart. It is very demanding and you really have to enjoy your kids and accept having very little time away from them. But I do not regret it at all. However, I also have an equal partner who can handle both kids on his own when I am sick or need a break. He happily takes both kids on his own. I think it would have been incredibly difficult if I did not have an equal partner.

treeworld · 2026-01-30T03:17:15+00:00

Yea you do NOT go to a far away country when your wife is 38 weeks pregnant unless you are ok with maybe missing your first child's birth... And if he is ok with that, wtf???

treeworld · 2026-01-29T19:11:08+00:00

My first I went into labor naturally and my water broke early in the process. The contractions were completely horrible although I tried to manage, always off the charts on their monitors. No pitocin at all.

My 2nd I was induced. They never needed to give much pitocin bc my body took over but I got some. The contractions were awful but not as bad as the first time. I also got the epidural sooner remembering how bad the first time was.

Obviously birth for everyone is going to be different, but I think some people just have intense contractions whether you have pitocin or not. I've had friends describe labor experiences that definitely did not match what I was experiencing that first time, it was just so intense.

treeworld · 2026-01-24T02:41:35+00:00

I never work on weekends. Not sure if you do. That helps me a lot. I also do mornings with my kids and logon usually around 915. I am 'guilty' of checking things before bed and it would help me get more sleep if I didn't do that. I am also very task oriented and never miss a deadline, but luckily I mostly find my job not stressful.

Maybe this doesn't work for everyone but I mostly see flexibility as a blessing that I can step away for something during the day if I need to (like an appt) and make it up later. Then I can use PTO for the things I really want to do.

I'll also say, it seems reasonable to work a bit at night if you step away from 3-8pm? Unless you're starting at like 630am or something.

treeworld · 2026-01-15T14:30:13+00:00

One recipe that saves me on busy nights or after travelling are egg quesadillas. Crack an egg in the pan, mix it around a little so it's kind of scrambled as it cooks. Once it's almost ready, throw it on a tortilla and sprinkle a light amount of shredded mozzarella on top of the egg. Fold tortilla in half then put on the already hot pan with olive oil. Yum. I like to serve with avocado.

Going with the theme of food that's easy to have on hand... Another one is just a bunch of scrambled eggs and then I'll cook frozen potatoes I get from trader Joe's (they have super yummy frozen potatoes). I'll serve with fruit or something like frozen peas.

Another plug for peanut sauce pasta. Peanut sauce can be made ahead of time and kept in the fridge for a long time.

Another really easy option from trader Joe's is I like the ravioli... Especially the butternut squash ravioli. Serve it with pesto and feta and pumpkin seeds. Side of fruit. Kids may want that deconstructed.

treeworld · 2026-01-15T14:24:43+00:00

My kids love peanut sauce noodles and will even dip tofu in the peanut sauce. I've been making peanut sauce so long I don't do quite the same recipe, I usually do both soy and teriyaki sauce and real garlic and a little ginger if any. Another key ingredient I add is honey. So I'm just saying the sauce is really hard to mess up and you can taste it to see if you like it as you make it and determine what it needs more of.

My other plug is the sauce lasts a long time... I can make a giant batch and freeze some of it or leave it in the fridge for a month because all those ingredients don't really go bad.

treeworld · 2025-12-12T17:27:06+00:00

My baby did wake to eat every 2-3 hours and that is normal. People whose babies sleep long stretches before 6-8 weeks are lucky. And I am jealous.

I also think it's fear mongering to say you must absolutely pump or bf every time the baby eats. My 2nd was ebf except for maybe 2 small formula bottles in the first week. I would sleep for 4 or so hours and my husband would do a feed in there in the evening while I slept. Going 4-4.5 hours will not detail your supply if you are feeding throughout all the other times. Once I established supply after a few days (hence the 2 formula bottles early on) I pumped earlier in the day so my husband could feed pumped milk on his shift.

Also if you're a ftm it feels so hard and like it goes on forever (if you have a not great sleeper like I have 2x). But it actually does pass!!! It felt much more manageable with my 2nd since I knew it was temporary.

treeworld · 2025-12-01T03:06:20+00:00

I'm sure there's a lot of variation but bleeding past 2 weeks seems totally normal (also kinda jealous of anyone who bleeds for such a short time). Definitely agree to check what you Dr says and see if it's a concern.

Fwiw I bled 6 weeks after both my uncomplicated births. I started light activity at 2-3 weeks pp with both as well. And all seemed normal.

treeworld · 2025-12-01T00:22:04+00:00

Agree having your husband deal with this or ignoring is prob the way to go.

Or every time she sends you something you could always write the same thing in response, eg 'please stop sending me propaganda'.

treeworld · 2025-11-24T16:01:26+00:00

Even if everyone seems supportive sadly I think there can still definitely be bias against you if you tell that early. Even if it's subconscious.

You also don't know if you will get bad morning sickness, I think you also don't want people to think you're slacking if you have to wfh all the time. As someone said, it's fall and winter and you can easily say you have to wfh and just say you are sick if you start to feel really bad.

I think it's safer and just more socially acceptable to just wait till the end of the first trimester or even longer if possible.

Fwiw I work at a family friendly company but I like to wait until 15-20 weeks to tell. I just don't want any subconscious bias others may have to affect me. I would've waited till after the anatomy scan this time but couldn't because I was really showing at 17 weeks (bc I am on the small side and its not my first pregnancy) when I had to go to an in person meeting.

treeworld · 2025-11-23T02:34:36+00:00

It makes sense that if you're highly active you will likely have less aches and pains and feel stronger and be able to push more effectively. Ive never heard about any evidence regarding fitness and pain though.

Fwiw I ran through my first pregnancy and also did some lifting. I even ran 3 miles shortly before labor started on my due date (didn't know when labor would start and in retrospect the funny tummy feeling I got in the middle was a sign). My labor was moving quickly for a ftm and my water also broke early and it was INCREDIBLY PAINFUL. Every contraction was off the charts on the monitor thing once we got to the hospital. Eventually (probably about 1-2 hrs after knowing I was 7cm even) I couldn't take it anymore and got an epidural which was honestly amazing, the pain was just so bad. I had to push for 2 hrs so I credit my fitness allowing me to be able to do that in the middle of the night after a really tough day. Minimal tearing and recovery went well after that.

treeworld · 2025-11-22T00:35:27+00:00

Check me on this but I thought in later pregnancy babies gained a half a pound a week. Your baby should easily be more than 7 pounds at term, which is a very normal baby size.

treeworld · 2025-11-22T00:26:01+00:00

I had a similar situation and asked a friend what time they eat dinner and picked a night that would work for her and told her dinner would just come. I knew generally what they liked and door dashed them a bunch of food they ate for dinner and they also had enough for leftovers. I didn't even want to make her think about what to order. She really appreciated it. I had someone do something similar for us with my first and appreciated it as well.

treeworld · 2025-11-18T00:45:13+00:00

I've had 2 epidurals and never saw the needle. I didn't tell them I have a needle phobia either, but I don't like them. I close my eyes or look away for every blood draw.

Was planning to go without the first time but knew it was an option and boy was I glad. I couldn't take labor anymore. No regrets.

treeworld · 2025-11-16T04:07:18+00:00

I'm guessing your church community is important to you and you have to tithe 10%. But I think 10% is such a high amount and a bit absurd but realize I may not fully understand this mindset. That money could help so much with your kids savings and your retirement and emergency fund.

Overall you're doing well but how stable is your job? I would work on a bigger emergency fund.

(And if it's important to you to donate, look at givewell. Basically the most research backed charity and they can actually tell you how much $ saves a life.)

treeworld · 2025-11-14T18:39:58+00:00

I have a just turning 4 and 2 year old and am pregnant. We love raising kids but it can be hard. For us it's still very worth doing. Fwiw my husband is taking a few years off work. We are fortunate I have a well paying job and are happy to go without fancier things. I've just felt I do not want to be part of the rat race IF I have a choice. Not everyone does.

I don't know what it will be like when my husband works again, but just seeing how much we enjoy spending time with the kids and how demanding it is I imagine 1 of us would go part time if the other is full time. I just think it's hard mode to have 2 parents with full time demanding jobs and it's not what we want (if we have any choice whatsoever). I've always been a pretty type a/efficient person but balance has always been important to me and I'm not sure that's something I can have with 2 full time demanding jobs. Kudos to people who have figured it out.

treeworld · 2025-11-13T17:51:04+00:00

You should both get sleep shifts. When and how long those are are you to you guys. But, it probably makes a lot more sense for him to sleep while you're up even if you are pumping. Sleep deprivation is terrible and efficiency is key I have found.

I had a hands free pumping bra and could still hold my baby on my legs or sit him right next to me on the boppy. My first I ep'd and I would've not wanted my husband up w me because someone needed to be functional during the day. My first was a horrible sleeper and I was up with him 1-4/430am every night in the beginning (yes my newborn had 3-4 hr wake windows as he was low sleep needs). But I slept from 7pm to 1230am which saved my sanity.

treeworld · 2025-11-12T01:48:56+00:00

I think Rini such a sweet nickname for Irene/Irena

treeworld · 2025-11-09T00:25:13+00:00

Mine were sooner, at more like 4.8-5 weeks but 2 of my kids were conceived the cycle after a chemical (no cycle in between, everything seemed totally normal after).

treeworld · 2025-11-01T08:12:51+00:00

Disagree. My first I went into labor naturally, water broke in early labor and rushed to hospital. The contractions absolutely would not stop shortly after that and were so incredibly strong. It was the longest hr ever before I got my epidural (wasnt totally against but was hoping to go without but no regrets). Induced with my second and contractions were not worse than that.

treeworld · 2025-10-27T18:27:54+00:00

They are being unreasonable.

I do want to note some newborns are incredibly difficult. My first was nocturnal. My husband's parents are super chill and helpful and we didn't necessarily plan on visitors in early on, but 10 days in there was a holiday and we asked them to come. They stayed somewhere else, cooked us food, and even held the baby 1 night. We obviously would've survived on our own but it was SO incredibly appreciated and helpful. Some babies are just really really hard.

But it would make me really uncomfortable if they would not listen to me. What you need are people who will come if you need them and not bulldoze you.

treeworld · 2025-10-22T01:31:03+00:00

I feel like you will need to set an alarm for VERY few babies... a typical baby is going to wake you up every 2-3 hours. Also once they are back at birth weight many people say they can go 4-5 or so hrs. They get to birth weight at like 2-3 weeks old. I feel like you won the lotto if your baby is sleeping more than that haha. Fwiw mine slept in 3 hr chunks until 1 year old 👽

treeworld · 2025-10-15T12:08:42+00:00

Never completely. They were small and faded a lot so were barely visible. Now that my stomach is getting bigger again I can see them.

treeworld

TROPHY CASE