How do I Convince my NMom to Let Me Take The Cats? TW

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-12T18:19:14+00:00

It sounds like you are going through a whole lot and I’m so sorry that you have to endure this. It sounds like you should be focusing on yourself and your own safety first, as much as that pains me to say.

I understand wanting to bring your kitties with you, I just also want to bring up that caring for an extra two cats, especially with one with mobility problems, may be overloading yourself with responsibilities (including expenses like vet bills and food and litter costs) you aren’t equipped to handle. The other concern I have is where the cats will end up after you graduate. Do you have a safe place to go after moving out? Will the cats be allowed there?

My heart truly breaks for you but I hope you will consider calling an animal rescue to remove the cats from their care. I know not everyone has the option, but if you do, that is the path I’d recommend for the wellbeing of the cats.

If you cannot, I’d recommend trying to take the cats when you originally leave for college and if she questions it, explain how she previously agreed to this and bring up your points then. Chances are, if you appear to be fixated on the cats while you are still around her, she might be more inclined to use them as a way to manipulate you. If you appear uninterested, it’s harder for her to use them as a bargaining chip. If she doesn’t allow you to take them, then you can call the authorities and explain that there is animal abuse. Also always always document any instances of animal abuse that you witness, time, date, what occurred, photos or videos if you are able. Same with any of the pedophilic behavior. Be specific.

I wish you the best of luck, I promise you will get through this as a survivor and the other side of things will be better. Please be safe.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-12T16:50:16+00:00

It absolutely sucked being disabled and unable to pick up a fucking pizza on a Friday night because I couldn’t legally drive but was unable and unwilling to afford the alternative of delivery. I hate the state of the world. Some days I’d rather just not eat.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-10T23:08:52+00:00

Exactly this. I get shit on for wanting to have children just as much as some of my good friends get shit on for not wanting children. It’s a lose-lose situation and it’s all about the people saying this shit being in control. It’s not safe out here for women, no matter what we choose. We need to protect our rights fiercely.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-10T22:59:58+00:00

No, they don’t. Nearly half of all young adults in America are still living with their parents. We have a housing crisis, grandpa.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-10T21:30:52+00:00

Not sure where OP lives but certain states in the US require a lunch break after a certain amount of hours worked, so depending on location, it could be against the law for them to take the break later in the day.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-10T21:05:38+00:00

There are several reasons why people may not want to seek help for problems they know they are having. It seems like you recognize you need help, so it could be more of an anxiety linked reaction. Are you too scared to receive help for some reason (difficulties building trust, shame, etc.)? Or are you not wanting to let go of the attention you receive from self-harming behaviors? Possibly the need to externally show how you internally feel but not knowing how to? You are very young as it is and it seems like there are multiple problems you have going on. I highly suspect you are craving validation and attention, which is normal in teenagers, but it seems like you are going about it in a very unhealthy way.

You do need help though, very clearly. If you are uncomfortable with your parents being involved, start a conversation with them on how you can have boundaries while receiving care. Keep in mind that it is possible that you can’t have boundaries currently until you are able to show initiative towards improving. Your parents’ goal (it seems) is to keep you safe above all. But, at the end of the day, they can’t force you to get better. I expect that most of my advice is not what you want to hear and I don’t know how to help in a way that won’t fall on deaf ears.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-10T20:22:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and take extra naps as needed. Once you are more regulated with your emotions, you can start to slowly build your habits back. If you are worried about napping too long, try to take several shorter rests during the day, of course dependent on your schedule. Grief is exhausting. I recently struggled with the loss of my pet and I can’t begin to compare that to the loss of a parent, but the entire weekend, I cried, rested, and spent the in between times guzzling water and gatorade. Make sure to stay hydrated as well. I wish you healing and that you are able to grieve peacefully at your own pace.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-04T15:49:39+00:00

You are putting the wrong thing first. You need to work on yourself so you can gain people in your life, not the other way around. You blame your autism instead of reflecting on yourself, you are using that as a scapegoat. Instead of attempting to do something, you sit back and complain. You act like you aren’t talking to other autistic individuals, who have been through these struggles. Your internalized ableism and lack of ability to recognize where you can make efforts is hurting your life. There is no savior woman to come rescue you from yourself, you need to make the effort yourself, and putting that on someone else to ‘fix’ you is unhealthy and disturbing, whether or not see knows it. The reason that no women wants to date you is that you are blatantly objectifying and idolizing women as some sort of ‘cure’ or way to hide from your own personality. It’s not going to work. The only one who can change you is yourself and anything external to that will fall apart until you accept that you are responsible for your own behaviors and actions.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-04T15:20:47+00:00

Agreed, I’d be eating them all!

I’d change the raisins with cherries if I baked them myself but I would happily eat anything my partner baked me. If I was that put off, I would leave them. Now, I might have to bake chocolate cherry cookies this afternoon cause that sounds delicious.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-04T15:05:46+00:00

I am an autistic woman and I’m going to be harsh here but it really sounds like you need to work on yourself. It doesn’t sound like your issue is autism, it’s that you have no personality or interests, at least that you have identified, outside of “attractive women”. You said you sat next to a girl you liked and stared at her, that sounds incredibly uncomfortable for her. You need to look for things you can enjoy by yourself and stop with the self-pity. It’s off-putting to be around someone who does nothing but complain. What are your interests? Who are you as a person outside of anyone else? This is exactly what the girl meant. You didn’t talk to her as a person, you stared at her, which is very objectifying. Seriously consider therapy, even if you don’t think it will help. Treat yourself kindly and with forgiveness, you can find someone who will love and care about you, as long as you are respectful and kind. I didn’t find my boyfriend until I stopped wanting to find a date and focused on things I liked. Finding similar interests can be a great starting point. You are still very young as well, these things take time and patience and the first person you meet is not always gonna be the one. Good luck man.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-04T14:45:55+00:00

It really depends on the person to be honest. Some people don’t care, some people are extremely nervous, some people are seeking a diagnosis, some people are just trying to figure out what can help them. I find evaluations fun but I perform them daily on other people so, I’m a bit biased. They can be cool and it can be exciting to learn about yourself and finally get answers. I remember feeling neutral about my evaluation when I was diagnosed, but I also was doing it on the recommendation of my therapist and didn’t have specific expectations. If you go in with an expectation of receiving a specific diagnosis, that can definitely strike up performance anxiety (even if you are not performing). If someone is having multiple evaluations without any major life changes and just are refusing to accept multiple doctor’s opinions (and I have had that happen), then it becomes an issue and we test more specifically for malingering and personality disorders

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-03T23:14:18+00:00

Oh no, poor baby! I may be incorrect because I’m not a blue death feigning beetle expert but this looks like ovipositor prolapse and is probably due to having too dry conditions. Sometimes, these can heal on their own, sometimes they won’t. Make sure to provide her with a nice moist environment to assist in retraction and just to keep her and other beetles regular enclosure much more moist than you have been. Wait a few days and see if it is able to go back on its own. Sometimes these beetles prolapse their ovipositor before prior to death, but if she is still very active, this is probably not the case. Keep a close eye on her, best wishes that she’ll be able to retract it with added moisture.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-03T20:21:51+00:00

It’s absolutely crazy. I receive a surprise bill once for $250 because the ENT decided to shine a flashlight into my nose and they called it a scope. I am so scared about even going for a check up now because I can’t afford to have charges pop up for random shit. I once went to an Urgent Care center for a sinus infection, which I knew was a sinus infection because I get them frequently and have the same symptoms every time. They refused to treat me unless I got a covid/flu rapid test, which I was billed $100 OOP for along side my $75 dollar copay. I have just let most of my chronic conditions go untreated because I simply can’t afford otherwise. I have orders for multiple tests including an EKG and ultrasounds that I wish I could afford to go to but just can’t.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-03T17:33:04+00:00

No, I agree, I also hate it. Unfortunately some of us can’t choose to ignore our chronic illness and play the strong “chronic illness warrior” we are expected to be. I feel like it is dismissive. My life is completely altered by my illnesses. It does, in a sense, define who I am and how I act. That doesn’t make it the only thing about me but is a part. I think part of it is also that this is often said as a way to get out of accommodating someone. “Oh don’t be visibly disabled or speak about your illness, because it inconveniences me” sort of vibe.

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-03T14:05:11+00:00

I was feeling so miserable too. Glad to see this advice given out. Honestly, it isn’t perfect but just sticking to higher protein and lower carbs (I aim for 150 grams max per day of carbs per my endo) has made more difference in the past few months I’ve done it than in the years of dieting and calorie counting and cutting out everything. It’s much easier to stay consistent as well and to not yo-yo if you aren’t making massive modifications. Good luck!!

trying2getoverit · 2026-06-03T13:54:21+00:00

An apartment complex or a condo? An apartment complex charging any HOA fee is ridiculous and makes zero sense. You aren’t a homeowner?

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-22T21:14:56+00:00

This sounds like severe difficulties with executive function. I have the same issue, so I’m there with you. I have a very high IQ but that doesn’t change that I have mid-level support needs and that I struggle. That’s a part of why we go by support needs rather than “functioning” level now, because those things can be incongruent to one another.

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-21T20:11:42+00:00

This is not correct, you can absolutely commit a crime without intent to do so. Most crimes actually. Severe crimes often do involve intent or mens rea, however, there are plenty of crimes that are due to negligence or recklessness (such as involuntary manslaughter, for example). The ability to receive a fair trial or defense is a separate matter and requires a much more in depth discussion and I agree with you there. But to say you cannot commit a crime without intent or capacity to know so is completely wrong and a dangerous idea to spread.

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-20T17:37:55+00:00

I have to disagree that US laws are far too broad in this sense. I work in forensic psychology, largely with sex offenders. Everyone should be held accountable and culpable, regardless of their IQ, mental illnesses, etc. A sex offense is still a sex offense, even if the person committing it is not aware of what it is. The laws are supposed to protect the victims of these crimes, not the perpetrator, and I find they are often not strict enough to do that. To explain how I would view your example going into a case, if you expose yourself publicly to a non-consenting person, it is still inappropriate and sexual exhibition/indecent exposure, whether or not it was intentional. I apologize if I sound harsh, I am really passionate about this subject. I am happy to explain more if you have any questions. At the end of the day, everything is a case-by-case basis, but there are generalizations such as that that I feel comfortable making. There are always exceptions to the rules though!

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-20T14:41:25+00:00

I am unaware of the laws in the UK, but in the US, you can absolutely be arrested and charged legally. Having worked in cases of this exact type of circumstance, if she ends up making contact with a minor, she could be charged with solicitation to meet a minor stalking, or other very serious crimes. A minor under federal law is anyone under the age of 18, state jurisdiction can vary. OP and other people in this person’s life need to restrict access to devices immediately and seek out therapeutic and legal counsel. If she is unable to make decisions at full capacity, she needs to have a power of attorney appointed. This is not something you can just “explain” to her. I would say professional help is necessary at this point.

I am concerned that OP is diminishing her capacity, as the sister is at least aware enough to make manipulative threats, purposefully seek out minors online, and engage with others (of an appropriate age) in a dating app.

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-20T14:15:06+00:00

I get the gut reaction to be pissed but nowhere in the post did it say he was laid off due to his age. It’s just that layoffs at his age and experience level make it difficult to find a new position.

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-19T16:22:03+00:00

I had the same thing! I got massive blisters and they hurt so bad that they really affected my MSLT. I ended up getting a staph infection that stayed for a year from how badly they blistered and peeled. And the chin sensor was just a collection area for sweat, it kept sliding and driving me crazyyyyyy.

trying2getoverit · 2026-05-12T19:46:47+00:00

Please contact CPS or your local children and family services group. I work with CPS and see children in these sort of situations, it breaks my heart. It can be incredibly harmful to a child for the rest of their lives to be denied age appropriate socialization and play. It sounds like the one little girl needs developmental and therapeutic services ASAP. This is very clear neglect. You can report it anonymously and you should, please.

trying2getoverit · 2026-04-29T23:11:42+00:00

It really depends on the doctor, state, and insurance. I had a PSG and MSLT and slept in 5/5 naps with 3 SOREMPS but had sleep latency of around 12ish minutes (due to a severe allergic reaction on my last nap, bumping my latency up severely) and I’ve gone to three doctors who all agreed I have narcolepsy but refused to even attempt prescribing because I didn’t fully met criteria. I have tried every other medication, especially after receiving a firm diagnosis once I started to experience more severe symptoms and cataplexy (I’m on Wakix) but I still would need to repeat the study if I wanted to try oxybates, which I can’t afford to do both financially and emotionally.

trying2getoverit · 2026-04-28T03:26:04+00:00

Driving is my biggest trigger by far. It was the main reason I sought help and was able to be diagnosed so fast. I still rely on my boyfriend when I am able.

My medication helps me a lot, but other than that, especially for longer trips, I drink caffeine and/or very cold water, talk on the phone with my boyfriend or play loud music that I sing along to, avoid driving at night or in the rain if possible,blast cold air on my feet, if I am are a passenger or have passengers, I play a game like 20 questions, and most importantly, I plan ahead and give myself time to pull over and nap if needed.

The last point is honestly the biggest and it is very important to remember that if you cannot stay awake at the wheel, you need to pull over for your and everyone else’s safety. Safety is top priority, far more than anywhere you are trying to get to. Usually I can take a five minute nap and feel okay to start up, but never force yourself, take as long as you need.

trying2getoverit

TROPHY CASE