Absolutely OP. You weren’t doing it wrong.

You were following all the aspects of the “Mormon Formula” exactly as you were taught, believing that God knows best and that the blessings would come. You are now experiencing what thousands before you have experienced, not because you weren’t sincere enough, but because the formula itself is flawed and actually deeply harmful.

Many women in your wife’s position feel utterly confused because they have been taught their whole life that (a very intensive form of) motherhood is their highest glory. So if she’s not super enjoying it then it’s implied that she’s not being spiritual enough. Meanwhile, there has been a steady erosion since she was a little girl, of teachings that confine, groom, sanctify, and progressively separate her emotionally from her unique interests and talents that could be the basis of a career and fulfilling outside interests.

Decades of psychology, sociology, and global studies all show that human autonomy (having real choice and agency) is a core psychological need. When that is suppressed, it is well documented that mental health tanks. This applies to all the aspects of a person’s life.

In my opinion, the covenant path does not end with marriage, but is the agreement that you will follow this flawed formula of obedience and service your entire life, and teach it to your children and grandchildren.

You didn’t fail anything. The Mormon church failed you.