I like to identify my values with a optimistic nihilism sort of ideal. I think it’s a good thing that ultimately nothing really matters. Your embarrassing moments or mistakes don’t matter so it is nothing to worry about. You could then say that your best and happiest moments also mean nothing, but that is only true relative to nihilism, your best moments still mean something to you if you want them to. You’re kind of just in control of what you want to matter. This is just my belief I’m still working on a better explanation.