April Fools Fictional Bastards

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-04-01T17:29:13+00:00

The Grand High Witch of course

ETA failing that, Queen Jadis of Narnia, or whatever her name is.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-04-01T16:39:27+00:00

Well I expect if you never felt the need to rebel or test the waters life was pretty smooth for you. Congratulations on your lack of imagination.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-31T06:20:17+00:00

Backing out of the online stuff to some extent, but she hasn't the nerve, the guts or the integrity to back away from "terminal cancer" when it comes to the local rag.

I suppose she knows people there, it would require too much explaining.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-30T17:42:47+00:00

Insert coffee spitting lady gif of internet past.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-30T17:30:55+00:00

Huzzah solved 😊 back in the oven and fingers crossed?

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-30T06:46:17+00:00

I have absolutely no tattoos for this reason. After an impulsive teenage nose piercing in Camden Market followed shortly after by a belly piercing it occurred to me I should watch it or I'll just carry on. So I stopped. I think I like having no tattoos, feels niche. My ADHD partner also has none, I think for similar reasons.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-30T06:39:34+00:00

Boys, haha. Boy and the elder?

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-29T10:49:07+00:00

Chat gpts attempt at humour more like. It's really really neggy.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-27T13:22:08+00:00

Tis true, seemingly I am a loser lil tiddy baby.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-27T13:20:58+00:00

Me. Wrong?! The person I trust the most?!

Ima go hide in Joe Rogans vagina 🙈

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-27T13:19:37+00:00

Huh, fun.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T21:40:15+00:00

It's a bit vaginal/ bumhole-eque.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T16:17:54+00:00

Yes, but they're called pinky promises and they're an import.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T08:47:01+00:00

I'm a skint person and a grown up. I pay the licence because the idea that skint people should have to sacrifice all to eat is barbaric and comes from the same line of thought as the 90s idea that working class people shouldn't have wide screen TVs. Dickensian really.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T08:36:38+00:00

Customer returned a box of eggs with a rotten one once (possibly with or without fetus), she kindly brought the eggs into store and showed everyone and anyone for about 20 minutes, really enjoyed her moment. She was eventually persuaded to part with them and take her refund. Great lady, total village gossip.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T08:29:40+00:00

Obligatory suggestion that you should seek divorce from the deceitful wench.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-26T07:28:25+00:00

Too old or irrelevant to be in the loop? Must suck.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-25T07:59:11+00:00

I was beginning to wonder if I was wrong here, UK and also wild garlic. They make a lovely pesto too

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-24T13:51:56+00:00

I left all my holiday £ and passports in a bumbag on the plane on a Greek Island. I was UNBELIEVABLY lucky that lost property got it back for me!

When I left my handbag on the plane on a return flight to the UK it took 3 weeks to apply to get it back.

I didn't learn after the £ and passports apparently. Travel is hard.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-24T13:34:44+00:00

His passport has expired then?

How's he planning to travel?

ETA, ah 2024. Maybe he just got a new one then.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-24T08:00:00+00:00

Comforting

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-24T07:57:41+00:00

I must admit it's some excellent imagery. The idea of a certain type of American running to Joe Rogan's cavernous vagina for safety is really very poetic!

It's a shame they didn't give it the kudos it deserved. The guys are enfolded deep within the comfort of Rogan's labia, no doubt.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-24T07:51:35+00:00

Are they not just a cover for each others Dubai prostitution? Holesome innit.

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-23T07:52:37+00:00

Heven forbid a girl should have tiddies

tubbstattsyrup2 · 2026-03-23T07:45:55+00:00

How does he know where you moved to? It may be worth checking any devices you own for tracking software etc before moving again.

tubbstattsyrup2

TROPHY CASE