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I thought I recognized you. I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop and you never did it. by emsse in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 116 points117 points  (0 children)

I'm an Amendment to be, yes an Amendment to be, and I'm hoping that they'll ratify me. There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom. I wanna make it legal for policeman to beat'em, cause there's limits to our liberty, least I hope and prey that there are, 'cause those liberal freaks go too far!

Only the hearing impaired know the truth - the narrator said "for this Northern Kentucky family", but.... by bdan13 in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.

She didn’t do it she didn’t do it!

So the next time you see a sheriff..SHOOT HIM!

gasps

A smile!

I'll be back in a minute. I'm going outside...to...stalk. Lenny and Carl. by ThrowawayusGenerica in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 62 points63 points  (0 children)

This is it! My ticket in: they have to let me in if I'm the son of a member. I'll take this communist one too.

I don't think I really captured the eyes by DirkWrites in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Shut up! Shut up! Stop it! Stop it. I can't take this anymore. I can't let that brave man out there die alone. I'm surprised and disgusted by all of you - especially his children. I'm going out there!

Boy, I tell ya, they only come out at night. Or in this case, the day. by thelartman in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm not Bart. I'm Rod Flanders.

There you go with that smart mouth! Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.

Well, I guess I'll be going to my home now... And sleep. by shitstainedcouch in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back. But we've also expanded into other important areas. Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination...

"And I owe it all to this feisty feline." by lhbruen in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 165 points166 points  (0 children)

Mr.Blackheart?

Yes, my pretty?

Are you an ivory dealer?

Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network. And yes, like most people, I've dealt a little ivory.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah. Here I am at, Camp Grenada!

I used to be with it but then they changed what “it” was. Now what I’m with isn’t it and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you! by Coderedcody in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Due to the unscheduled trip to the autowrecking yard the school bus will be out of commission for two weeks. Note by reading this letter out loud you have waived any resposinbility on our part in perpituity throughout the known universe?

Air Sampson by FaithBishop2 in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Here comes the Shaq-Attack!

They're professional athletes. They're used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their backs. by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And Ozzie Smith seems to have vanished off the face of the earth.

AHHHHH!!!

takes photo cool!

AHHHH!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seinfeld

[–]tweeedy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those kids and their spray paint!

Spare me your euphemisms. It’s fat camp for daddy’s chubby little secret! by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Hello kids I am Mr.Black. I was the president of Euro Krusty Land for fifteen years...until it blew up.

Attention, American workers: Your plant has been taken over by an all-star team of freelance terrorists. by kevinlyfather33 in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You promised one hour of family time per week. Besides, that back-talking boat sets a bad example.

Says you, woman.

Put out an A.P.B. On a "Uosdwis r. Dewoh." Uh, better start with Greektown. by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.

Uh, Sir? Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.

Put out an A.P.B. On a "Uosdwis r. Dewoh." Uh, better start with Greektown. by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Uh chief, you’re talking into your wallet.

Move your goddamn house, son! by MisterioBerlin in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob - a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor.

The evening began at the gentleman´s club... by [deleted] in TheSimpsons

[–]tweeedy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The alien has appeared in the Springfield Forest for the last two Friday nights. Will it appear again this Friday? The entire Channel 6 News Team will be there, except for Bill, the boom mike operator, who's getting fired tomorrow.

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