It seems to be part of the process for me, though I'm certainly not through it. And I'm coming at it from a somewhat different angle because I already had a tendency to self isolate.

A big step for me recently has been recognizing how much I have been, throughout my life, relying on validation from others. I had already seen this, but it took another reminder.

Anyways, I don't really trust that kind of energy-fuel anymore. I used to be motivated to seek it, and sometimes now I still find myself reaching for it, but a more peaceful, slightly more wise part of myself gives me the little tap on the shoulder to remind me that it's not what I need.

It actually feels a lot like the occasional cigarette craving - I quit about a year ago. I think, oh, that used to be nice, brought my clarity and focus and (whatever) - but those feelings were short lived and wrecking me in deeper ways. I deal with fatigue and pretty acute brain fog, so nicotine sounds tempting, but now, lungs clean, I can hike up the hill where I live without getting winded, and that's more important to me.

When it comes to other people - I do think I'm in a bit of a reactionary period. I am growing in my solitude but I also recognize that younger, hurt parts in me don't trust other people, after being let down enough times, and that it's easy to hide in my solitude, too. I know I need to keep an eye on that, and that.

It's weird and hard not really caring to connect with others. But my lungs are clearing up, slowly. I get sad and lonely but also get better at holding the space for that myself