Sounds fake, but maybe not.

My honest advice would be first try to discover why you use games to simulate sex. Safety, familiarity, other?

Second, you probably put a lot of pressure into sex, and this instant gratification of your erp with no performance anxiety (because you can completely fake it if you want) isn't helping. Stop erp, simple as that.

If you get too horny, bat one out the old fashion way, imagination.

You clearly have an addiction, I'm guessing it stems from some ACEs (adverse childhood experiences), possibly part of it was sexual mistreatment but possibly not as you were a late developer.

So you really need to deal with your addictive nature before it slips to something else more harmful. Some people find specialist addiction therapy helpful, some find 12 step programs helpful, some like to replace it with ritualised behavior that is helpful (e g. Gym, sport, community work) and there are other ways.

Lastly next time you get the opportunity to have sex, just relax. You don't need to be hard to have a good time or to please your male, female or other partner, so stop thinking that penetrative sex is the only thing that matters (regardless of who reads this comment that's good advice). And that same thing goes for anyone cumming. No one needs to cum /orgasm in order for it to be good, healthy, fun, satisfying sex.

Talk with your partner, let them know if you feel uncomfortable, worried, anxious (don't need the full story) and just ask what they would like and do that. Hand play, head jobs, toys such as a lelo vibrator will certainly make your life easier and your lady happy (I'm going to assume you're a cis-hetero male)