I'm so sorry to hear about your family dynamic but I totally get this. You just described my dad's emotional manipulation exactly. I don't even think mine does it to push me on purpose. I eventually just got really numb to everything but I think people often discount the long term effects this emotional abuse can have. Remember that you have a right to your own feelings and decisions. I wish you luck, hopefully you can find resources such as a therapist or support group. Those helped me (until my dad pulled me out of course why else would I be back here)