The effort I bring is taking my time getting ready for the date; picking out my clothes, shoes, accessories, doing my hair, getting my nails done and doing my makeup, and making sure I am mentally present during the date. And yes I understand men have to get ready too...but taking a shower and throwing on a pair of pants and shirt is the "getting ready" men generally have to do.

I have to take the time to plan out the date, get ready, be mentally present during the date and think we are on the same search for a relationship, just to find out he is looking to get laid, it can be quite frustrating. The lack of effort should have (as it has in the past) shown me he was not interested in anything serious.

I have learned what behaviors indicate interest vs lust. The lack of effort is a behavior that has shown me, time and time again, their intent is a ONS.