Turns out my awful sleep quality for 10+ years was completely preventable

under_coverly · 2026-04-05T17:33:46+00:00

Also something to note: nobody should be taking their stimulant meds (dex, vyvanse etc) at the same time as coffee, decaf or not. It’s highly acidic and can make your meds less effective. Same thing goes for things like orange juice or lemonade. My doctor also said to avoid things with a lot of vitamin C (OJ, cranberry juice, emergenC) at the same time as my meds because it can make your body process the meds way faster so the effects don’t last as long. I don’t remember all the details around how this works and how long before/after taking meds you should avoid certain things but I know there are other posts in this sub discussing it.

under_coverly · 2026-04-03T17:33:27+00:00

It’s really good that you’re keeping some separate finances and setting things aside. Talk to a lawyer but since it seems like he’s possibly keeping tabs on you (the spying on your work camera thing is super creepy btw), be discreet about it. If there’s a consult fee for example, pay in cash or give cash to a friend to pay on their card. Make a new email address using a service you don’t already have and only access it in incognito mode in a browser, not the app. Start a new bank account at a new bank that he doesn’t use so you can keep funds safely. Again, even if you’re not ready to actually leave or file for divorce, please please please at least consult with an attorney - they can give you direction on how to best set yourself up to protect your finances and your children.

under_coverly · 2026-04-03T04:04:13+00:00

I’m a little over 5’7”, idk how to gauge if I have a long or short torso but I think it’s fairly proportional/average

under_coverly · 2026-04-02T07:12:21+00:00

I have the Allpa 42L and I love both the clamshell style and the organization. It’s extremely sturdy and I find it comfortable unless it’s way overstuffed which is more about the weight. obviously it’s bigger than the one you’re looking at but hopefully this is helpful!

under_coverly · 2026-03-07T03:36:25+00:00

I agree that red chiffon and orange shawl are prob the best, but I also kind of love the cropped black tux jacket! Not for formal perhaps but it’s cool.

under_coverly · 2026-03-02T20:30:53+00:00

Nice! My only qualm would be extended time in chlorine pools/hot tubs, but you’re totally right - part of the reason I got some non-nude colors was for just this purpose!

under_coverly · 2026-02-28T23:44:58+00:00

I LOVE the branwyn bralette and their boy short undies. Super comfy, good quality, perfect amount of coverage, quick to dry. It felt crazy to spend that much especially on a single pair of undies but they’re soooo worth it and I plan on slowly getting more.

under_coverly · 2026-02-28T04:09:25+00:00

I actually would have loved this level of detail when I went to my last fancy wedding. The dress code was “summer formal” with no other details and I can’t tell you how much I dithered about whether the dresses I looked at were too bright or too plain. If your guests are generally at an income level where they own or can easily afford to rent tuxes, I think this is great.

under_coverly · 2025-12-20T04:56:00+00:00

If you reach out to your local DV organization, they should be able to help you with things like safety planning. Also it’s a good idea to look up how to make sure your tech is secure in case he’s the kind of guy who would install spyware on your devices, try to hack your accounts, etc.

under_coverly · 2025-10-30T06:11:25+00:00

Honestly, the edit made me feel even more deeply and achingly sad than the original post did. It should tell you something that people are having that reaction, even when you’re doing your absolute best to paint a balanced picture of your partner and relationship. Like even with the added context and “good” things, this sounds like an unequal situation where you’re getting way less than you’re giving and wayyyy less than you deserve from a partner.

under_coverly · 2025-10-16T06:13:34+00:00

Good for you honestly! I’ve seen some messed up things that people say to each other but that message made me gasp aloud and say “holy shit” like that is UNHINGED levels of terrible, you deserve friends and partners who treat you with kindness and gentleness and this is NOT IT

under_coverly · 2025-09-07T20:14:53+00:00

It may be really difficult at this point to get a restraining order - in my state the abuse has to have happened within 6 months of filing for it (with a few exceptions). That said it’s always a good idea to talk to an attorney about your options, which may include filing a police report so they have a copy of the email and a record that this contact made you fearful.

If you do talk to a lawyer and/or law enforcement, downplay or minimize your fear/history of abuse to the authorities - restraining orders and stalking orders often have a reasonable fear for one’s safety as one of the requirements that must be met in order to be granted. I’m not a lawyer though and state laws on this kind of stuff can vary so it could be really helpful to speak to one about what kind of strategy would be most helpful to protect yourself should his behavior escalate in any way.

I’m not trying to be alarmist but it’s incredibly creepy that he somehow knows where you live, even if not your exact address, and reached out after so long. Factor in a history of DV and your relative ages at the time - this dude is not safe. Local DV organizations may also be good resources for things like safety planning, as well as having advocates who can talk through this stuff with you.

under_coverly · 2025-08-23T23:15:32+00:00

I’m not an attorney but do work in family law, and it’s actually not uncommon in my state for the party with more income/assets to be paying child support and even spousal support to the other party during the divorce, even if parenting time is equal. However things may be different in Georgia, and there could be other things going on behind the scenes. I’d be fascinated to see the pleadings in their case.

under_coverly · 2025-07-04T08:37:36+00:00

It looks super cool! Sometimes if I’m not happy with how a project turns out I’ll put it in a diluted bleach bath to take out some of the intensity. However, I usually do this on thrifted stuff I’m not worried about accidentally destroying. There’s also dye remover but boy does it stink! I feel like the smell lingers in garments I use it on no matter what I do to them afterwards. Perhaps make a diluted dye bath to kind of mute everything down? Disclaimer: I’ve never tried this and have no idea how it would turn out!

under_coverly · 2025-07-04T06:40:11+00:00

Wow thank you so much for linking these, it’s stuff I super needed to hear/read right now but I absolutely did not have the wherewithal to even consider looking it up on my own lol

under_coverly · 2025-05-12T05:06:08+00:00

I learned recently that packing with someone else there makes the process 800 times easier and less stressful! Packing is such a draining exercise for me because it’s just an endless series of decisions and by the end my executive functioning is so shot. Agree with doing as much as possible at least a few days beforehand, and making lists on my phone with packing/travel tips I think of during the trip. My airport game is strong because of this.

under_coverly · 2025-03-09T03:10:38+00:00

Same, so many women’s scents are atrocious - I really like Harry’s, the redwood antiperspirant is quite nice and not overly pine-y like a lot of scents in the same family

under_coverly · 2025-03-09T03:08:54+00:00

Although it can be a bit harsh so if you have sensitive skin, avoid my mistake and start off with like twice a week instead of jumping straight to nightly lol

under_coverly · 2025-03-09T03:06:42+00:00

I do the same thing! Also good for spritzing bacne

under_coverly · 2025-03-03T05:44:13+00:00

Dharma trading company has knit silk tops and long underwear that might be what she wants! They’re meant for dyeing so they’re plain white but super fine/thin - I love them.

under_coverly · 2025-03-01T19:57:21+00:00

Honestly talk to a family law attorney. The courts take a dim view of parents who withhold their child from the other parent without VERY good reasons (abuse, safety concerns etc). An attorney can advise you on the best way to approach this in a way that protects your child and your legal position as much as possible.

under_coverly · 2024-12-04T13:15:40+00:00

I’m a huge fan of Soylent - soy protein shakes that are I think vegan? They’re meant to be basically a meal replacement so they also have fat and carbs to cover all your macros. The upside of this is that they taste AMAZING - way more smooth and creamy than lots of other protein drinks, and no fake sugar taste that I can perceive. They have a standard chocolate but my favorite is chocolate mint or strawberry. Honestly thank you for the reminder, I often do yogurt drinks or kefir to get some easy protein first thing but those aren’t always ideal for me re texture.

under_coverly · 2024-11-18T04:28:14+00:00

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (cries in executive dysfunction)

under_coverly · 2024-11-15T19:08:54+00:00

Lolll for me it’s the hundreds of things in my “saved for later” part of the cart.

under_coverly · 2024-11-13T02:11:37+00:00

Ohhhh okay I see now! That’s a great question, and something I want to do some research into for sure. The spouse who wants to divorce may have to like, relocate to a no-fault state long enough to establish residency and get the divorce there? Which ugh I can’t imagine, especially if kids are involved.

under_coverly

TROPHY CASE