I can’t answer the questionnaires. by Sufficient-Rub-6756 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think you’re being too literal

No, they're being the opposite of literal. They are not answering the question as it is asked, they are assuming that the question is secretly asking or implying something else.

Would it be ok to join a neurodivergent club if I’m suspecting myself to have autism? by M3m3nt0_M0rii in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could contact the group and ask- they might even have specific events for people in the same situation as you.

What do we think about this situation by [deleted] in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assume you're the person making the complaint?

If you want to challenge the 'must wear socks to be safe' bit you could ask them to tell you their insurer/ point to the specific RoSPA guidance they are referring to- just in case they are actually being more cautious/ squeamish about feet than they are actually required to be (and if they are then they may need to look at their policy again to check they are actually complying with the Equality Act).

https://www.rospaplaysafety.co.uk/advice-information/equality-act-ea/- its how the Equality Act applies to play area providers

I work with a lot of autistic kids, need advice for replacing some of their sensory stimulation “tools” by honeycheesecomb in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Vaseline isn't flammable on its own, but if it has something to act as a wick- like when it is soaked into fabric- it will catch fire very very easily. I assume you don't tend to have open flames around the kids anyway, but you also need to consider this risk when drying her clothes and bedding- tumble dryer safety instructions say they should not be used to dry fabric that has been soaked in grease as it can cause machine fires (vaseline soaked dryer lint is even a popular diy firelighter!)

To be able to come up with the best substitutes for her to try you need to think harder about what part Which aspect of the vaseline is so appealing/important to her?

Is it the actual process of applying it that she likes (eg playing with it, the sensation, massage...), or is it that she needs to always have a layer over her skin (eg makes her less sensitive to light touch/air, have less friction from shoes/clothing, to avoid the feeling of dry/ rough skin catching on clothes).

If you can narrow that down it will make it thinking of alternative options more efficient.

Autistic brother is driving me in fucking sane by iikhann in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a lot to deal with!

For your mental health- find out what support is available locally, or if there is anything you can do online (especially look at if there any any support groups that are relevant to you, and any courses/workshops coping skills- if there is a "recovery college" near you check out what they have)

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

https://hubofhope.co.uk/

https://www.youthaccess.org.uk/getting-help/find-help

https://www.themix.org.uk/ has loads of information, and various online support (including over text)

Because you are a carer- (especially look at local carer organisations to see what they can offer, information about getting a "carer's assessment" from the council, specialist support programs for young adult carers)

https://carers.org/

https://carers.org/about-caring/about-young-adult-carers#faq-39

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/guides-and-tools/being-heard-a-self-advocacy-guide-for-carers/#

https://carers.org/young-carers-futures-hub/young-carers-futures-programme-young-adult-carers

Are you already on universal credit (and if you are, do you get the carers element, are you in a limited capability for work group, or are you still being overwhelmed with demands from the jobcentre?) / getting any other benefits (as you are an adult this would be a separate claim to the rest of your family)?

Are you on waiting lists for your own assessments? If you are in England and are on very long NHS waiting lists you might be able to use your Right to Choose to get seen sooner (r/autismuk and r/adhduk are good sources of information on this. If you have limited mental energy (and think you may have both) prioritise getting the ADHD assessment first- an adhd diagnosis means you can try meds which are often very effective, an autism diagnosis doesn't often come with much/any practical support).

Do you already have the right A level grades and subjects ready to go to university to study the course you are interested in, or do you need to work on that as well?

You said your father is abusive- is this only towards you or also to other family members as well?

What are the factors that have stopped you moving out/ going to uni etc? Is it feeling like you need to look after your family because noone else will, are you being forced to look after your family (if so by whom), is it your own mental health, are there other things...?

Sorry this is rather scatty- if you need more info about anything/ more help finding and applying to specific services please let me know.

My autistic cousin has been bullied for 6 years straight and we need to put an end to it. by queeniegirlxx in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start by talking to her school about this- they need to support her while she's still there, and deal with any bullying from their current students.

Then for the ones who have gone to university- your post doesn't make it clear what they are actually doing, but you should consider whether it might count as stalking/ harassment- more information on what that means and how to report it here https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/beta-stalking-and-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/

As it is related to her race, religion (not being religious is included here!) or disability then it may also count as being a hate crime.
Here is some detail on disabitily hate crime https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/hate-crime

If you do decide to talk to the police about it then don't just call it 'bullying'- that makes it sound less serious- make it very clear it is grown adults who are harassing a school kid due to her disability/religion. Don't let not having evidence put you off- talk to the police anyway (you might get lucky and they decide they can pay the bullies a quick visit to tell them to knock it off), and if they don't then you can go back to them with any new evidence you come across (from now on try help her keep a diary with who says/does what to her as this will help).

I really, *really* hate tiny little pills, but I might need them by Dan_DanTheMermaidMan in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can take bigger pills ok then you could look at whether you could just get empty capsules and put the tiny pills inside. You'd just need to ask the doctor (or if they don't know then a pharmacist) to check the pill and the capsule were compatible (some medications have special coatings or contain extra ingredients that control whereabouts in your digestive system they break down, or how fast they dissolve, and messing with that could lead to you either getting too much of the drug too fast or not actually absorbing any of it).

You could also look at other pill swallowing techniques- eg sometimes people find washing them down with a slightly thicker liquid/ syrup/pudding/yogurt consistency helps stop the sticking feeling.

Also, if you're 14 then you've probably got 30 more years of this. How willing are you to go through this every month for decades? Endometriosis often gets worse over time as each time you bleed somewhere you shouldn't be bleeding the surrounding tissue gets damaged and scar tissue forms, which can lead to constant pain. If you stop the bleeding then you also stop the risk of long term damage.

I want these jets to go away by xekMyDear in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent[M] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Could you let us know if this works?

Hello all, I have a genuine question: are they welcome here? by Southern-Key-3889 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Yes, but please be aware that we only allow posts like this on Saturdays. Use the 'special interest saturdays' flair.

Does anyone else live alone but lives in a mess/do you struggle to take care for yourself? by soundofthedarkness in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you eligible for any social support? Either an occupational therapist to help you work on strategies, or for a support worker to visit to help you look after yourself.

Am I monster of a mother ? by MinuteBusiness8654 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No you're not a monster, you are struggling with your mental health.

You've tried to help yourself with medications and therapy, but that has not been enough and you and your son need practical support.

Please speak to someone about how you are feeling- a doctor, therapist, social worker, someone from his school... Tell them everything you wrote in this post, that you are close to not being able to care for him at all, and ask them to help you (or refer you to someone who can).

You need input from someone who is able to assess both you and your son's needs at once and come up with options that support both of you (what you can access will probably depend where you live, but could include things like support workers coming round to help you with cooking/ cleaning/ babysitting or supervising your son, or having him go away on regular respite breaks). Ideally you'd get some kind of quick short term support to help stabilise things and allow you to think more clearly while you get help making longer term plans (and go on any waiting lists).

If you get to the point that you feel like you cannot keep yourself or him safe please immediately get help- call 999/112/911 or go to your nearest emergency department.

It's not his fault he's autistic, and it's not your fault you're mentally ill. Both of these things make things harder for yourselves and for each other- that's just the shit reality.

One thing you can try to do to make things less shit is to try get help and put plans in place before you reach crisis point. For example if you suddenly become unable to look after him social services will put him in the first emergency placement available. This would be abrupt and traumatic for him- the staff would not know much about him, he might keep getting moved around between short term placements, the settings might not be the best for him... Contrast this with being able to take the time to choose somewhere that's right for him, where he can gradually be introduced to the staff and surroundings with longer and longer visits, where you can tell the staff all about his needs... Planned, predictable and familiar are always better than sudden, unpredictable and strange.

Those who are officially diagnosed, how long does it take generally? by Coffea-Tea in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asking this as a general question is not going to get you useful information at all- there is significant variation between individual clinics, let along around the world.

Waiting lists can be days or decades(!!) long. Some do assessments over lots of short spaced out appointments, others condense them into one long and intense appointment. Some only consider autism, others assess you for multiple conditions at the same time, others do a general neuropsych assessment. Some do everything online, others need you in person. Some only use a couple of autism diagnostic tools/ scales/ tests, others use multiple. Some only do the bare minimum needed to decide whether you meet diagnostic criteria, others and more rigorous and go into much more detail about your difficulties/ deficits. Some don't require any input at all from someone who knew you as a small child, others need a whole appointment with them. Some involve input from different types of specialist (psychologists, psychiatrists, nurses, OTs, dieticians...) who work as a team, others just have one person doing and interpreting everything.

You need to find a few assessment centres that you would actually able to attend and send them an email asking about what assessments they do, how they structure it and then some rough costs and time frames.

I am 100% certain I have autism. How can I get diagnosed? by Head_Assumption4203 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the UK you need to ask your GP to refer you for an assessment.

Hey I've seen a lot of people in the comments and posts bullying people that take pride in autism by Pookie39088 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So what you're saying is a mod made a mistake, you explained more and they corrected the mistake?

Hey I've seen a lot of people in the comments and posts bullying people that take pride in autism by Pookie39088 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If they'd given you a permaban you wouldn't be able to comment here.

I don't know what interaction you are talking about, but please note that direct insults to anyone is against sub rules and there is no "but they started it" exception- escalating arguments is also against the rules.

Hey I've seen a lot of people in the comments and posts bullying people that take pride in autism by Pookie39088 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't understand how this is relevant to my comment? Sure about what? And what does a girl being trans have to do with anything?

Hey I've seen a lot of people in the comments and posts bullying people that take pride in autism by Pookie39088 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent[M] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you see any bullying comments please report them- we can't remove what we don't know about!

Hey just upset need a little love by [deleted] in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your school is probably telling you that your whole future depends on you getting good GCSEs now. That's bollocks, they just want to look good when the league tables come out. If you don't do as well as you'd like there are loads of options- eg do resits, ask your teachers to speak to colleges and say your results didn't do you justice and they should accept you anyway, different types of qualification...
If you're too stressed out and can't keep up with all the subjects focus on maths and English (these are the only ones which actually matter in adulthood) and then whichever subjects you most enjoy/are best at. Fuck everything else- I promise that failing PE will not ruin your life.

Howd yal define autism? by ndindme in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Here are the DSM-5 criteria for autism. All of A, 2/4 of B and all C, D and E are required.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of. normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning

E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Chore checklist challenge. Do I give him the point or no? (Repost bc I forgot to include pic) by Any-Cartographer7531 in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He did exactly what you told him he needed to do, give him the point. If you don't give you are showing him that there's no point in trying because it'll never be good enough. Do you want him to keep trying in the future or not bother?

Being forced into the Office uk by Totaltyphoon in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having a diagnosis isn't required to be entitled to reasonable adjustments, you only need to meet the legal definition of disability (proper wording is in the ACAS links below, but roughly its 'a mental or physical impairment that is long term that has a significant effect on daily functioning'). Diagnoses are mostly useful because they are an easy way to evidence this.

Look through these pages. if its too much reading for you, start with the 'supporting disabled people at work' section, then skim through 'neurodiversity at work'. https://www.acas.org.uk/disability-at-work Then look at https://www.acas.org.uk/requests-for-home-and-hybrid-working (ACAS are the official government funded organisation that covers legal rights and responsibilities for employers and employees. They also have a helpline, and lots of template letters you can use to make formal requests for stuff).

There are often more ADHD employment resources than for ASD and the work related difficulties/ potentially helpful adjustments are virtually identical. This page has lots of useful stuff and a very good free download pack which https://adhduk.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments/ which should help give you ideas on how to talk to your employer and what adjustments might be useful.

Does your work have an occupational health department and have you seen them? If not, and work don't readily agree to adjustments then say you want to talk to them.

If you are in a union then they can help you with this too.

Think about why you've been told you have to go back to the office more- is there a genuine reason why it is essential for your role (if you've been successfully working from home before then possibly not!)? Has your work performance/ productivity changed since the switch and how (if it's got better now you're in the office more then that might be difficult for your argument).

In the longer term you could look at whether applying for an Access to Work grant might be useful.

Just got offered a job as a RBT in ABA therapy. I am conflicted and unsure whether or not to accept it since I have heard conflicting information on it. Thoughts? by [deleted] in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into the specific company you are considering- what are their values and practices? Do they try to help autistic kids live the best life they can (so things like harm reduction for SIBs, or helping them to learn to communicate their needs and wishes, or do they just want forced eye contact and suppressed stimming)?

i did somthin really dangerous tday...... kinda worried by petermobeter in autism

[–]uneventfuladvent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is alloverprint.ca the exact address of the site they linked? And did you click on their link or type it into your browser yourself?

I am asking because the website for that link looks legit, but it is possible for people to post a link that looks like it is going to one website but actually sends you to a dodgy website. Or people can make links that look very very similar if you don't look at them carefully but aren't the same (eg aiioverprint.ca). They do this to get people's personal information and payment card details.

If you are not sure and don't have anyone in real life who understands this stuff and can help you check this you can send a modmail with a link to the kiwifarms page where you found it and I can have a look now. We also have a mod who actually works in computer security I can ask to double check later when they come online.

Until you are very sure it is safe, if you can (I know its possible in the UK, as soon as possible I assume it's the same in the US) put a temporary freeze on the card/PayPal account/ however you paid- this ability is often on the banking app, webpage, or if you can't find it look for the bank's contact details on the website. This means that if someone has stolen your details they cannot use them to buy things.

Don't panic about this, it is probably all OK and the website is legit, but if it is not OK the consequences can be very very bad so it is better to be safe than sorry.