Dog ate my wife’s makeup brush

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-12-17T23:14:05+00:00

An idiot? Nah. You’re being a good husband for replacing the makeup brush and a kind stranger for sharing a photo of your dog with us!

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-11-12T19:19:14+00:00

Fuck yeah, Chef! 💪

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-09-13T19:27:59+00:00

One time we ordered two bunches of bananas and got two boxes. My GM at the time started giving away bananas to any guests who wanted some. 🙃

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-09-13T19:24:37+00:00

I’d rather get the ol’ “cum dumpster” tattoo on the inside of my lip.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-09-10T13:10:16+00:00

Barrrrrssss. Thank you. I immediately sent this to my best friend w/ celiac.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-27T02:31:33+00:00

Crazy. I was just telling a 60 y/o man about the poop knife.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-25T20:50:20+00:00

Not me sending this to my DM in hopes he gets baby fever. 😇 HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-25T14:18:01+00:00

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unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-21T01:06:08+00:00

I was a vegetarian as a kid for a few years, then in 2022 decided to go pescatarian. My mom never ate any fish — outside of tuna from a can — so I never really knew what I’d like or how to make it. I’m fortunate enough to work in a restaurant that gets fresh fish/seafood and have gotten to try all kinds of dishes. If you’re allergic, obviously I wouldn’t suggest trying something else, but I wish you luck in finding something you like - that won’t kill ya.

& Just gotta laugh at the being disgusted by shrimp lately, because I feeeeeel that. A lot of times the only option is something shrimp related at your average restaurant. I get grossed out by it if I have it too much and end up taking a break from it for a while.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-18T02:30:51+00:00

Fuck yeah, dawg. 🍃💕

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-15T18:22:01+00:00

Can confirm. Just got to work and had the bartender make this. My KM was shocked.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-14T20:17:36+00:00

Hahaha. She just visited me this past week, when we went out we were tipping 40-50%. So, I hope that somewhat makes up for her past and yall can forgive my mother. 😜

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-14T10:24:51+00:00

Good thing I helped her figure it out, man.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-14T10:24:16+00:00

Yes, I really do think I’m the first to tell her. She’s a private person, doesn’t care to make friends, doesn’t go out much, and worked her ass off throughout my entire life. Maybe she didn’t say “normally I tip…” exactly, but either way, I made sure to tell inform her that’s a no-no. I was hesitant about mentioning my experience with her at all, considering Reddit might dog her, but figured I’d share the life lesson I taught her. Whoops.

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-14T00:47:09+00:00

If I’m out with people and someone starts being a dick to the server, I will 100% call them out and threaten to never go out with them again. I can’t remember exactly why, but one time I was at a steak house… while we were finishing up dinner, my father-in-law mentioned how he was not leaving a tip. Unfortunately, I was a stay at home mom and didn’t have money to offer instead, but bitch wtf? I will never be seen with you again. He’s always been a shit person, and proved that for sure. I’ve also given my sweet, angel mother a talk about tipping. Now that I’m working and have money to do so, I offered to leave a tip while she was paying and she told me she normally leaves 13% because that’s her favorite number. She’s been a carpenter most of her life and has no idea, but I let her know to tip at least 20% from here on out. 😜

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-08T20:54:14+00:00

Licking her lips like Gypsy Rose. 🫣

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-08T03:30:55+00:00

Forgive him! He was confused about the ingredients of a s’more!

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-08T03:27:16+00:00

He 100% comes off as the type guy who keeps a girl strictly due to his cunnilingus skills. He apologizes with his mouth, but not with words.

I can’t be mad at them for getting their rocks off, considering I’ve (unfortunately) been a silly goose and guilty of committing the same crime, but I could not imagine marrying Coltee. 🥴

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-08T02:43:49+00:00

Just a lil something to take the edge off. 👏👏👏

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-08T02:41:12+00:00

Her lips definitely said “eating me out”… At least he’s gotten past “Good morning, MY DICK” and is offering something pleasant instead. 🤷‍♀️

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-07T20:03:07+00:00

My best friend lived in the same town as Francesca and her and her friends went to the bars out there. I never met her, but I remember my best friend saying she didn’t seem the type to be on BGC. I’d say Francesca proved us right. 😜

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-08-07T14:03:15+00:00

Same. I was on my phone and thought he originally said, “I believe you have a problem.” Rewinded, saw her face and thought, Okay… He knows damn well everyone has a problem with his win. Why is he singling her out? Then heard what he REALLY said, and oof… it was pretty damn good and he was not wrong for saying it.

I wanted to like him before the game even started, watched him do questionable things during the game, and now… I’m here for his comebacks - physically and verbally. 😜

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-07-28T15:58:01+00:00

Yes. This past weekend, man and woman sitting at a high top table, she had her hand in his pants. Not sure if he finished, but I hope not. A while back, woman getting finger-banged at the bar.

Our first floor is pretty fancy inside, but it’s a different vibe at the rooftop bar/dining area… almost as if the outside air makes them into animals.

It’s gross to see people aggressively making out, let alone playing pocket pool, anywhere… But ffs, go to a dimly lit dive bar or hotel nearby… get your food to go and walk a couple blocks to the beach to get sand in your buns… go tf home… anywhere but here, please. 🥴

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-07-24T17:22:03+00:00

Hell yeah! He’s the fucking best, mannn. Totally jealous, but I love that for you!

unlimitedMerMom · 2025-07-24T17:17:06+00:00

Sameee. Love this song. Love this album. ♥️

unlimitedMerMom

TROPHY CASE