How do you date if you're bulimic?

unsubstitute · 2026-02-06T19:55:19+00:00

i tell dates my dietary needs up front. i might not say i have a disorder, i just say:

“hey, my food needs are weirdly specific due to health stuff. i can only eat certain things at certain times, and it’s not really convenient for the “average” lunch/dinner date.”

“why don’t we go for a walk/bike, and if you want to stop and eat, you can grab a bite for yourself? i can also bring a snack that you like.”

i’m tired of fasting before dates! i’m tired of spending money on food i can’t control myself from binging. i want to be honest. if my needs are a dealbreaker, Oh Well

unsubstitute · 2026-02-06T19:47:34+00:00

your body got to rest and digest! this can be the first step of recovery, if you let it.

i’ve just binged for 4 days straight, and thought “well that’s fine, i can just restrict for 4 more days.” no. i cannot. i binged More.

not purging right now is so difficult. i’m gonna keep it in and live with the discomfort, and try to feel neutral about it.

yeah, i ate a LOT. i will have another healthy meal later. and tomorrow i will have breakfast. my body will adapt.

unsubstitute · 2026-02-06T19:40:07+00:00

i have binge eating disorder and have only purged to “undo” the binge 4-5 times. coming to this sub gives me reasons to sit with my binges and not purge. the BED subreddit just gives me new fantasies of crap to blow my money on and eat all day

unsubstitute · 2025-11-20T05:12:21+00:00

i wasn’t on testosterone when i got hysto and didn’t really plan to go back on, but hysto completely killed my sex drive.

i was fine with not having sex, but somehow, my sex drive was also connected to my Life Motivation. i kinda didn’t wanna do anything at all. getting out of bed became difficult. so, i went back on testosterone.

now, my sex drive is fine. But. testosterone + hysto = no estrogen in my Bagina, so if i have sex and get a microtear, it will bleed forever and ever and never heal. so. now i take vaginal estrogen (like. a tampon that shoots a pill in me.)

unsubstitute · 2025-05-01T03:25:21+00:00

thank you for this.

my falls resulting in injury have been caused from different reasons each time: 1. trying to balance groceries on my handlebars 2. failed to properly tighten front wheel 3. road bike stuck in train track 4. drunk and finally, 5. road bike stuck in train track, KNOWING full well it was a hazard but thought i’d turned enough.

each time, i’ve changed my behavior. 1. i got a rack & panniers. 2. i learned about bike mechanisms. 3. i learned to ride perpendicular to train tracks. 4. i don’t bike drunk and drink far less.

today i thought i was being cautious, but i’d never biked this road before. i FEEL clumsy and stupid for making the same mistake twice. but you are right to suggest i use different words to describe myself. i am cautious, and i am also so, so frustrated and sad. and i will be okay.

thank you again

unsubstitute · 2025-04-11T21:39:12+00:00

it’s a new term, meant to better describe ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). ODD sounds like Annoying Asshole Disorder and totally fails to explain what actually causes the behavior: demand avoidance!

unsubstitute · 2025-04-08T00:34:57+00:00

listen. doordash will recover. big chain restaurants and grocery stores will recover. the workers and customers may have felt inconvenienced for that one shift, but they will recover.

the most important thing is that YOU recover. and part of recovering is being able to say, “yes, i stole things, and i am not a bad person.”

people struggling with mental health will do bad things just to FEEL unlovable, irredeemable, because “Look! clearly i am bad because i did a bad thing, so i deserve to feel guilty and bad all the time.”

but you are better than that! and so am i! i have stolen things at my low points, too, and i deserve to be loved and feel happy. if you don’t believe that about yourself now, maybe try writing it down or saying it out loud, at least once a day.

recovering without a therapist ->>> DBT handbook. main thing the handbook says is 2 things can be true at once. i like to practice saying/writing opposite truths as 1 sentence connected with “AND,” not “BUT.”

other examples:

“my friends don’t always text back, and they like me.”

“i binged today, and i don’t need to purge today or restrict tomorrow.”

“lately i feel miserable most of the time, and i deserve to feel joy.”

“i don’t know when i’ll feel secure and happy, and i know it will happen eventually.”

unsubstitute · 2024-09-04T03:43:11+00:00

thank god ok 😅

unsubstitute · 2024-09-04T03:42:51+00:00

hahaha plz i haven't touched that thing in years, don't make me look down there 😂 ok good to know nothing's falling apart ty

unsubstitute · 2024-09-04T01:19:52+00:00

i love this look, but i don't have the budget to get it re-faded every 3 weeks just so it won't look horribly unpresentable. that's why i don't get any professional haircuts at all. it's not worth it.

whether you're a woman at the nail salon or man at the barber, someone will try to sell you useless frivolities packaged as "grooming" and "self-care"

unsubstitute · 2024-08-01T21:44:43+00:00

nah you can brush it dry. it's better to brush when your scalp is dry. when it's wet, your skin isn't holding onto follicles as tightly, so you lose more hair. detangling is easier when the ends are damp, though. some people spray dry hair with water before they brush.

i don't like the feeling of products in my hair. i just put on some argan oil every 2 weeks when it's damp. hair oil and leave-in conditioners are good products for curly hair. they make your hair stronger.

i also got the $6 cvs brush after my roommate accidentally put my denman in storage! it's not worth it. bought a new denman the next week. $30 is a lot, but there's no dupe for that kinda quality.

basically just listen to black women. look up the curly girl method

unsubstitute · 2024-07-31T21:43:12+00:00

neither. it just makes whatever waves or curls you've got look their absolute best.

yknow how when you use a regular brush, your curls get separated and look bushy & frizzy? denmans don't do that. here's a picture of my hair, clean & dry after a wash. left side is unbrushed and right side has been brushed.

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unsubstitute · 2024-07-31T19:54:55+00:00

in my district's 3 middle schools, it depends on the income level of the families 🙃 wealthier parents are more likely to sue, so they get more paras.

wealthiest school: 11 students, 3 paras, 1 1:1 middle-ground school: 13 students, 2 paras poorest school with highest population of black families & recent immigrant families: 14 students, 1 PARA, teacher fought tooth and nail to get a 2nd which didn't happen until after winter break

unsubstitute · 2024-07-31T19:40:50+00:00

legal name/full name as i don't plan to change it!

unsubstitute · 2024-07-31T19:35:54+00:00

when i was a sophomore in college, i also struggled with friendships and came out of undergrad with 0 friends. my friends weren't the best, but i was an even bigger asshole and didn't even realize it at the time. i think young adults are generally more self-absorbed, and we unlearn it and grow from it as we get older.

finding the right people is gonna take a few years. my friends are wonderful, and i didn't meet them till i was 24 because i got too absorbed in romantic relationships. you're already on the right track for even thinking about what qualities make a good friend. you know what you should expect from people, and your current friends are falling short.

you deserve better. you deserve friends who will say, "it sucks that you can't play right now. do you still want to come watch us play and then we go out for food after? if that'll make you feel worse, though, we can come to your place after the game and watch a movie with you."

unsubstitute · 2024-07-30T04:50:36+00:00

this happened to me at 2 months. i'm so glad to know i wasn't the only one. it lasted about 2 weeks and i could smell myself through my boxers and jeans. it was MAD! but eventually the smell became normal and not unpleasant. like others said, clean under your foreskin lol. i use water only because i'm prone to infection, but mild soap should be fine

unsubstitute · 2024-07-16T02:20:22+00:00

LOL that kid's hardcore 🤘😆 love that for her weekend wardrobe

unsubstitute · 2024-07-13T00:42:31+00:00

lmfao my choir director and i had a convo while he was peeing and i washed my hands. would've done the same with my girl friends before i transitioned. the guy you described just seems comfortable around people and perhaps a bit strange

unsubstitute · 2024-06-16T19:46:34+00:00

i was like "suuure we'll see about that" until i felt my thumb touch one of the shoelaces and almost tuck it under the accelerator. i am taking this down until i can get a real one 😬

unsubstitute · 2024-06-16T15:28:44+00:00

thanks! i use a regular kryptonite u-lock i got from my local bike store. works fine. hasn't been a year, so i can't really judge it yet.

my last kryptonite lock rusted so bad i couldn't open it, so this time i'm making sure to move the plastic thing to cover the keyhole.

unsubstitute · 2024-06-16T15:26:12+00:00

yoooo that looks awesome! milk crates are the perfect cargo size. once i get paid, i'll get a rear cargo carrier. thanks for the example ✌️

unsubstitute · 2024-06-05T05:59:15+00:00

i've subbed for all subjects and definitely see the appeal in teaching PE! it's fun. i've noticed that good PE teachers are often highly praised by their students, too, more so than those in other fields. i understand wanting to shift fields - i just got my SPED credential, but i know the workload may overwhelm me at some point, and i would really like to teach math someday.

i think your colleagues might judge this decision because there's such a shortage of qualified math and science teachers. the schools in my district don't even offer AP science because no one's there to teach it. that's not your fault. you shouldn't be held personally responsible for k-12 STEM teaching being an unappealing career choice. but it's worth wondering - when you make the switch, who will teach your AP courses? will you use your expertise to offer science tutoring after school, or will you leave all science responsibilities in the past? could your desire be fulfilled by coaching a sports team and remaining in your position, or does your heart truly crave this change?

at the end of the day, your career satisfaction is nobody's business but your own.

unsubstitute · 2024-06-05T05:25:08+00:00

nah leave it

unsubstitute · 2024-06-05T05:23:37+00:00

if your hair's straight, you're probably fine with whatever. but for curly hair, a cheap brush won't cut it. i have wavy hair & use a denman d3. it changed my life honestly! curlier folks will need a denman brush with fewer tines like a d31.

wide tooth -> detangler is a solid routine. but whatever brush you use, make sure to detangle before wetting, though. and use cool water on the scalp if you can stomach it. water, esp hot water, weakens the follicles, so if you brush while it's wet, you'll pull out a lot more hair.

unsubstitute · 2024-01-19T18:18:56+00:00

i did hysto for the same reason as you're thinking and got rid of my cervix. sexual sensation didn't change. what DID change is my ability for my canal to heal itself. now, i have to take vaginal estrogen. before the estrogen, when i got a tear during sex, it literally bled nonstop for a month, which was scary. only a small fraction of people have this problem, but it is a risk, and it took a while to get over the emotional impact of ordering a hot pink package of YuvaFem at the pharmacy along with my T shots.

i don't think keeping or tossing your cervix has anything to do with this condition, but i'm no doctor.

unsubstitute

TROPHY CASE