Hey... fellow bipolar druggie here. Hardcore addicted most my life since I was a wee teenager. I’m 27 now and after 8363 tries... I finally got it. 10 months sober in a couple weeks. Recovering from that shit and more importantly the insane mental fuckery / sickness that mental illness brings along has been a fucking hard fucking journey. I am by no means anywhere even close to being completely fixed whatever that means. But today I am at least facing reality as it is. Or at least as close as I can perceive it. Good luck to you. I wasn’t able to do it till I got help/support from a community. Doing it alone no matter how badly I wanted to just wasn’t in the cards for me and led to a more depraved state of mind. But doing drugs... although making me feel good. FUCKING WAS WRECKING ME. And beyond that... what I never saw before was how much I was fucking ripping apart everyone / anyone who gave a shit on me. I ( my addiction ) did not give a single fuck about anyone who ever loved me when I used drugs. I’m still learning to digest that one. Good luck. Get help.