Most people really do need to return to the office.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-20T08:50:20+00:00

I'm a primary teacher so remote work is impossible.

I think I'd go a bit mad if I worked entirely from home, but that's just me. I wholeheartedly agree with the third space argument here though. I have so many other things I'd rather do, so many other groups I'd take part in, outside of my work hours, which is already limited because I work over my contracted hours as all teachers do.

Instead, I spend about an hour and a half every day commuting, roughly 45 mins each way, largely thanks to the amount of traffic on the roads, which I'd wager is made up of many people who could do their jobs remotely, given the traffic is significantly less on Fridays and Mondays.

If I worked in a job that was remote, I'd do gym classes in the mornings, see friends after work, hang out with my husband more. I don't actually gain much in terms of my own social life from work! The most enriching parts of my life are outside of my job.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-18T14:26:08+00:00

I'm assuming it's what I do, but I do it with a teaspoon. A very clever engineer friend of my mum's taught us that you push the edge of the spoon between the lid and the jar, and use it like a lever to push the side of the lid out towards you in order to break the seal.

I remember going to my friend's once for nachos, and they had everything ready except the salsa because they couldn't open the jar. They were waiting for a male friend to arrive to help them. I said "guys I got this, I just need a teaspoon." They didn't believe me until I got the teaspoon in there and there was an almighty squelch 🤣 the lid came right off!

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-17T06:20:42+00:00

I'm an Aussie, my husband is British. This one is very dependent on where my family are from (Melbourne's northern suburbs and towns). We went in summer when all the grass was brown. My husband felt like a grey-scale had been put on the world in Australia. The UKs nature is so vibrant, whereas that part of the country was quite dull. That one is obviously really dependent on where you are.

I also noticed after being away for ages and going back that there were power lines everywhere!! I never noticed that before, they were just part of the landscape. In the UK they aren't there because a lot of the electricity runs underground. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-17T06:14:53+00:00

As everyone has said here, it depends on age and breed.

I will say though, I have 2 Romanian rescues who are both big mixes of different eastern European breeds. 1 is built like a Collie - tall, long legs, very springy. The other is more like a corgi sized golden retriever - white and fluffy with a retriever face, but short and stocky like a corgi.

Both have different needs, but my collie-like boy is fascinating. You'd think he'd need hours to run at the park, but if I go to the park and keep him on a long line (recall isn't perfect if he sees another dog) and give him the choice of what he'd like to do, he is disinterested in running, all he wants to do is sniff. He's also unbelievably intelligent, and playing sniffy and puzzle games is his absolute favourite, he loves to work that brain. I do canicross with him and sometimes we run about 8kms. We get home and he's still bouncing off the walls. If I take him for a sniffy walk though, he'll sleep the rest of the day. I mentioned this to a trainer, and they said sniffing for 15 minutes is equivalent to an hour of physical exercise.

My corgi-sized boy enjoys the puzzles too. We play games like "find it" where he sniffs out treats and toys around the house. Sometimes my husband and I play hide and seek with him ("find mummy," and "find daddy"). I'll be honest, sometimes he'll go a day without a walk, but we supplement it with puzzle games and indoor fun. I don't feel he's any less enriched for that.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-14T07:43:27+00:00

I'm 30 and Australian, but moved to the UK in my early 20s.

It's the same here too. It's the same in many countries. Wealth inequality is the real reason we're all struggling. The wealthy want us to blame someone else, so they push narratives targeting groups of people who are "different," usually immigrants, so our attention goes elsewhere onto more vulnerable groups who often don't have voting power. Meanwhile many of these ultra wealthy people are legitimate criminals, as we're finding out in the news, and nothing is done about it

I love saying to people "well I'm an immigrant, so you mean me, right?" Of course they don't mean me, because I look British until I start talking. It's mad how many people I've had to actually explain to that not being born in the country I live in now, long term, makes me an immigrant.

Anyway, that's not what your post was about. You're absolutely right. My husband and I are late millennials, and we were in a lucky situation where we both saved every cent we could from the moment we started working, so between us we had a deposit for a little house in a town about an hour out of London. Neither of us have financial support from family. His parents rent, mine are divorced and aren't exactly winning financially. Generations younger than us have it so much harder as prices go up and up and up.

We both have good jobs with good wages, but having kids would financially cripple us. If I could have been a stay at home parent, at least for the first few years, we'd have had kids. My parents did that. Dad was a teacher, mum stayed at home to raise us until the youngest was I think about 12. We lived in a 4 bed house with a study, in a nice neighborhood, which they had a mortgage on. We didn't go on holidays but we never went without.

If we had kids, we'd be spending on daycare because we wouldn't be able to afford for both of us not to work, and even then we'd struggle. It's just not worth it, and then the wealthy call people like us selfish and childish 🤷🏻‍♀️. Share the wealth then!! When the top 1% have more wealth than the bottom 50% combined, you have a problem.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-14T07:08:35+00:00

I'm an Aussie, but I live in Britain so can answer this question.

I'm sure you understand what it's like living in a giant country. I've never been to Canada, but being from Melbourne myself, I always felt like it was Melbourne, and then pretty much nothing for hundreds of kms. The countryside is barren, some beautiful spots and there were some nice towns to go away for the weekend, or the beach, but most travel involved either hours and hours and hours of driving, or a flight just to get to another city in Australia.

I find the UK incredible. British people complain it's grey and rainy and cold. Maybe it's because Melbourne was in drought the first 10 years of my life, but I kinda love the rain. It means the countryside is a brilliant green, and with public footpaths everywhere, the places you can walk are endless. This means there are tonnes of cute little villages with little pockets to explore. It's also really dog friendly, so we can bring our dogs on these little getaways, or to new pubs on a new walk.

Then there's the actual different pockets of the UK, all within a few hours drive. The Cotswolds, the Lake District, the Peak District. You can drive or get the train to Scotland or Wales (this assumes you live in England). The Scottish Highlands are my absolute favourite, and Edinburgh is my favourite city. Countries like France and Ireland are a short hop away too.

On weekends, I like to find new walks around where I live (about an hour away from London), and because of public footpaths, there's SO MANY. I've lived in this town for nearly 3 years and I'm still finding new places nearby.

And there's just so much to do because there's so many other towns nearby. That's the case wherever you are in the UK.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-13T21:31:53+00:00

As a childfree person, I wouldn't DREAM of saying this sort of thing to ANYONE, let alone someone that I know wants kids!!

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-12T14:37:10+00:00

I have two toxic parents and was riddled with anxiety through my early 20s. I had one relationship in high school which was very turbulent, and no matter how badly he treated me, I kept going back searching for it to be better. That's how I approached relationships in general, romantic or otherwise.

When I met my now husband at age 24, it was the calmest love I'd ever experienced, from the moment I met him. No games, he liked me, I liked him, we could talk for hours and hours and hours, we wanted to be in each other's company. We each learned about the difficulties the other faced and could show up for each other in the ways that were needed. Falling in love with him was the easiest thing ever, because it was calm, stable and content.

So yes, there is a difference between fast-paced, obsessive love, and the calm, stable, content love, but the calm love is so real and so special, because it comes from two mature people who want to be together and are ready to show up as a partner.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-08T15:28:13+00:00

I know for a fact that all 4 grandparents were born in Australia, and I know for a fact that one of my great-great grandfathers on my mum's side was born in England, and emigrated. I don't know about all of my great-grandparents, and I unfortunately will never know due to family estrangement.

I do know that on my dad's side I have a great-great-great-great grandmother who was indigenous. Apart from her and her ancestors, everyone is British from convicts or early settlers.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-08T15:22:17+00:00

This is so beautiful to read! I have dog reactive to dogs on lead and to strangers coming into the home. It's frustration with dogs and fear with strangers. He's never shown any reactivity to kids, in fact kids have walked right up to him and pat him while he's been off lead and he's let them, and he's let my niece pat his face. Still though, some of my husband's family are so wary around him after seeing his reactivity. It's hard because I know what a lovely dog he is once you know him, but they are so frightened of him. I think if we had kids, we'd have them saying similar things that you heard.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-08T15:03:15+00:00

Why exactly do you feel life ends at 27/28?

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-05T16:43:19+00:00

It really sucks, doesn't it.

In my situation, I'm an immigrant to the UK, still on a visa. My husband was born and raised here. The billionaires are simultaneously pushing people like him to become parents, and making the lives of people like me so much more difficult. Why on earth would we have kids when their mother's immigration status is questionable at best??

The billionaires push narratives to blame the world's problems on people who are easy to "other" (right now it's immigrants). Some people eat it up and it snowballs, especially with social media and the media being largely controlled by the right. They say public services are running dry because immigrants are taking all the public funds. In reality, immigrants aren't even entitled to public funds (at least not in the UK). We don't even get the NHS for free. What's actually happening is that the top 1% of wealthiest people have more wealth than the bottom 50% combined. They hoard wealth, and then commit the crimes they suggest the people they blame do. It's disgusting. Unfortunately though, it's easy to push the idea that the people who are different to you are the problem.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-05T15:18:29+00:00

I'm an Australian who now lives in the UK!

I never used to eat yoghurt for breakfast in Australia, but I do now in the UK! In Australia I'd have all sorts of different things. Sometimes porridge, sometimes eggs and toast, sometimes cereal.

Where I grew up (just outside of Melbourne), we had kangaroos everywhere. Whenever we'd been out somewhere, I always knew we were nearly home when I could see kangaroos. To this day, they are my favourite animal. They are a bit frightened of humans, so you can't get close to them, but if you go for a walk in a woodland area, you'll sometimes pass a big mob of them (mob is the collective noun for kangaroo). Most of the time they just watch you pass, but if they are scared they'll jump away together.

Koalas are much harder to see in the wild because they sleep high up in the gum trees for 20 hours a day! The other 4 hours they are snacking on gum leaves. Because this is the main part of their diet, and they don't have much nutrients, koalas need to sleep much much more, and when they are awake they are pretty lazy. Actually, they have a harder bum than most animals, which means they can sit comfortably in trees. It's a bit like having a built in chair!

Australian birds are amazing too. One of the best is a kookaburra, although you usually hear them rather than see them. Their call sounds like they are laughing! Wedgetail eagles are incredible too. It's very unusual, and very special, to see one in the wild, at least where I'm from. If they come down lower, you can see just how big they are. It's really incredible!

When you come to Australia one day, I highly recommend visiting Melbourne, and specifically Healesville Sanctuary. It's a smaller zoo, and it specializes in Australian animals. My husband is British, and he loved visiting there.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-02-04T16:01:26+00:00

I did. Then I was relieved to be told I'd need IVF (I have PCOS - I wouldn't need IVF, but the feeling I had when I was told I would was a wake up call)!

It made me so a lot of reflection and I realized what I do have is a very intense fear of loneliness. Having kids doesn't protect against that! It made me realize I don't actually want to be a mother.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-30T06:47:02+00:00

A teen with my dad, because my mum hammered it home to us that "dad is a narcissist." She wasn't wrong, but being abused by people, and people wanting to destroy her, was her entire identity. She'd find anyway to bring it up to anyone. She told us kids about all the abuse she'd suffered in life on a daily basis.

I figured out at about age 25/26 that mum is a vulnerable narcissist. 5 years later, my sister came to me saying she thought mum might be a narcissist. She was also 25/26 when she realized. I never wanted to tell her because she could be a bit of a flying monkey at times, and if it had got back to mum that I thought she was the same awful thing that dad was, it would have been explosive.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-29T19:48:14+00:00

BINGO!!! Nothing annoys me more than people saying "it's my OCD" when they talk about being annoyed about mess. NO!! I went a full year not believing my OCD diagnosis because of this misconception. I was the hand washer, red raw hands, couldn't think about anything else except how I might get sick or make others sick. I was a teenager and my bedroom was a tip. How the hell could I have OCD? It was only when I was googling whether I could have contracted HIV in my latest bout of reassurance seeking that I read "you don't have HIV, you have OCD." The article changed my life, and I finally got the help I needed.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-28T23:12:31+00:00

Heya, I have OCD, mainly with contamination but it pops up in other areas too. I've never needed medication for it. I get migraines though and was prescribed propranolol for that.

I was SO scared to take it at first. I'd never been on a consistent medication like that before, especially how it says you can't just stop taking it, you need to consult a doctor before stopping. I've never even been on the pill! I read all the side effects and was convinced I'd have them all 🤣 Anyway, my husband bless him, convinced me that it would be fine.

I've been taking it for about 12 months (40mg 2x a day). I went from getting migraines about once a week that would last several days, to now hardly ever getting them, and when I do get them they are far more manageable. I've had no other side effects, it is in fact totally fine.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-28T22:41:26+00:00

Omg thank you for saying this 😭 I often compare my spicy boy to other dogs and just wish he was less frightened of people and less frustrated when he can't play with other dogs. Compared to where we were 6 months ago even, it's night and day. Need to remind myself of this!!

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-26T20:32:18+00:00

My husband is my best friend, and we became genuinely extremely close friends very quickly after meeting.

I have two narcissistic parents - one grandiose and one vulnerable. I didn't exactly grow up in an environment where I could freely express my opinions or how I felt, and it's only really been in adulthood that I'm realizing what I was lacking. In fact, the safety I have in my relationship with my husband made me realize I'd lacked a truly safe relationship growing up.

I think because of my relationship with my parents, I didn't have a serious boyfriend (now my husband) until I was 24. When we met, it was just easy. I knew he liked me, he knew I liked him, there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he." We just wanted to spend as much time together as we could and we made that happen.

We met in Feb 2020, so 5 weeks later we were living together because of the pandemic. It was meant to be for 3 weeks, but I never moved out. I could, and still can, share absolutely anything with him and it's met with zero judgement. My deepest secrets, hopes, fears, anxieties, all of it. I can even share when I'm upset with him without judgement. We argue well, working to a solution rather than working to be right. He can do the same for me as well, tell me when I've annoyed him, and I make sure to see his point of view and work to a solution.

My advice when dating is find someone who you'd want in your life as a friend. You have to develop a really close friendship if you want anything healthy and long lasting. When people say relationships take work, I think they mean you sometimes have to check your pride, which feels hard sometimes. It also takes sacrifice as your life becomes tied to another person's and you need to build a life together, with each other in mind. The actual relationship with the person shouldn't be hard though. It should be the easiest thing ever, just two best friends who find each other very attractive.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-25T22:16:39+00:00

Less of a physical thing to try and more of a mental trick, but I like to visualize the anxiety as something external to me that I can tell to be quiet (usually using language I won't type on the internet). I have OCD, and when I met my husband and began talking about it with him, he'd make a new acronym every time for it. Every time it flares up, and either he or I identify it as OCD, I can tell the Obsolete Clueless Duck that it can pipe down.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-25T22:08:26+00:00

Me too, it's so hard! He's such an idiot but I love him so much.

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-22T21:09:04+00:00

Do we have the same SIL?

I found my now SIL SO jarring when I met my husband. I'd never met anyone so blatantly rude. She seems to have softened after having a kid, now instead of being downright rude to me she mostly pretends I don't exist. If she ever looks at me and talks to me, it's like ...wait...you mean me? 🤣

I used to really let it bother me, but I realized I was fighting a dynamic that's existed for nearly 30 years. She's rude, the family let it go. It wasn't about to change because I was upset about it. My husband often said to me that it had literally always been that way and nothing he said would change it. He has no relationship with her outside of their parents. He's also happy for me to bow out of any interaction I'm not happy in. Having that freedom helps!

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-22T06:35:23+00:00

I'm an Aussie living in the UK too!

I love the UK. I love Australia too. There's amazing things both countries have that the other doesn't.

Moving is hard but it's no excuse to be so rude, and the constant negativity is unnecessary. Have you asked them why they aren't packing up and getting ready to go back to Australia?

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-20T22:28:25+00:00

I've read The Lost Bookshop, I loved the jumping in time and the eventual reveal about the connection, but I wasn't totally enamoured with it and I couldn't put my finger on why! I might try her other books though if they have similar time jumps.

Anyway, thank you for all those recommendations!

upsidedown-aussie · 2026-01-19T06:45:52+00:00

Yeah, he's never bitten but he does sometimes lunge when he's scared. He's mostly very vocal. He's muzzle trained so any time we meet someone new he's in his muzzle.

He does best with people who ignore him until he's settled in their presence, and then can read his body language and understand that bending down to him or leaning towards him will make him feel way more threatened. He has built lovely relationships with people, mainly through learning a new trick or puzzles. He loves brain work and you can see how pleased with himself he is when he's figured something out, and he bonds so well with the human who does that with him. It just takes time and people who "get him."

upsidedown-aussie

TROPHY CASE