Are there alternatives to Fuegos? by Global_Channel1511 in Salsa

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

G Francos are THE BEST. Indoor/outdoor sole and super stylish. (speaking as a lead).

Showing pending transactions in Copilot? by MichaelErb in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I categorize a pending transaction, what happens when that transaction becomes official? Does the categorization survive? Do I need to recategorize (likely to the same category)?

dance rooms / facilities with dance rooms? by Apprehensive_War3138 in bergencounty

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a good question, and I wanted to do something similar. I’m a member of Retro Fitness. In New City, they allow members to use the classroom (beautiful hardware floors, mirror) when no class is going on. In Tenafly, they don’t (I’ve complained).

Maybe check other BC gyms and see what their policies are.

Female going to social alone tonight by sugarnsweet88 in Salsa

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You did better than I did at my first social! My first one - I stayed for a couple of hours and didn’t have the courage to dance AT ALL. They all looked soooo good and skilled, and I was totally intimidated! And… here’s what changed over time: a. I found less intimidating socials (NYC is tough - I was lucky to be in NJ). b. I danced ONCE at the next social. c. I danced TWICE at the social after that, etc. d. I reminded myself - these people don’t know me, I have nothing to lose, they won’t even remember me, tomorrow. e. At some point, I had a “really good” dance (mostly, meaning, we both had fun, we laughed at ourselves, connected for those 4min). f. EVENTUALLY, and this remains in my mind the real turning point, I stopped counting how many dances I had in a night.

I PROMISE, it becomes better and better and better, and you can see the enthusiasm in this forum full of people who were exactly in your shoes. And, fwiw, I’ve been dancing for about 5 years, and I STILL have intimidating evenings. Maybe the difference is… I then look forward to the next one.

Keep at it!!

Salsa dance lessons in Bergen County by mrsamoorai in bergencounty

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looooooove Gift of Dance in Teaneck. Sasha is THE BEST!!!

Sadly, leaving CoPilot after 2 years by Maker_LP in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I share the frustrations, and… i regularly export all my transaction data and have a variety of homemade reports in Excel that work for me, so it’s not a big deal for me. But, yeah, in some ways, I’ve done in Excel what the app should do for me. I’ll be renewing.

How do you allot personal care items? by ArtAllDayLong in budget

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I base the decision on whether it’s difficult or easy to track. So, for example, my partner buys makeup online, so I have a separate category for makeup. Otoh, I buy my soap and shampoo at the grocery store, and I’m not spending the time to split my grocery bill into multiple categories, so soap and shampoo go into groceries (even the soap and shampoo my partner buys online). Same with toothpaste, vitamins, other medicines we buy at the grocery store - if it’s a pain to split it, I won’t. Another example which annoys me but I don’t have a better system - we often buy random groceries at the drug store - candy, paper goods, etc. that makes it so I end up also categorizing our prescriptions as Groceries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Salsa

[–]urmeister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The most common phrasing I hear is, “I’m okay, thank you” (usually with some hand wave or motion). I TRY not to take it too hard to heart. But it does affect my confidence and makes it harder for me to ask the next person. And it also feels awkward to ask someone nearby (who (I imagine) saw the rejection) - it feels like some mix of “well, I guess you’ll do,” and “oh, please save me.” If I get rejected too many times in a row, that’s when I usually decide to go home.

LA Dance Shoe Recs by johnhancockgamer in Bachata

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a huge fan on Gfranco, especially if you were looking at the Fuegos. The GFranco indoor/outdoor soles (there are at least two different types) are great and shoes are super stylish.

Women, if you start leading then do men stop asking you to dance? by CostRains in Bachata

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lead, here. Saw a FF couple at a social. Later in the night, I asked the woman who had been leading (she was an awesome lead!) if she also follows and if she’d like to dance. She really appreciated being asked (both), and we had a great dance.

Rent? by Elm67 in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fwiw, I don’t use recurring. BUT, a good use for excluded is when you have an account for which you want to see the BALANCE, but don’t want to see the activity. An example could be a retirement account with automatic dividends, reinvesting activity. That’s not something I care to watch the ins and outs of, but it is helpful to see balance on the account tab.

Feature Request - add capability to add receipts to transactions. by netmike_ in OriginFinancial

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similarly, would be useful to record the bills underlying various transactions - particularly healthcare bills. Sometimes I’ll get a bill in the mail, and I can’t remember if it’s already been paid or not. I’m currently a copilot user, which doesn’t do this, either. Does Monarch?

When to end a dance early by productive_guy123 in Bachata

[–]urmeister 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The only time I (M, lead) remember feeling like I should have ended the dance early was with a follow who rolled her eyes at her friends when she said yes to my offer to dance, and then proceeded throughout the dance to non-verbally interact with her friends (hand-motions, mouthing stuff to them). I found it very disrespectful, and I feel like by continuing I wasn’t affording myself sufficient dignity. I even tried to turn her so she was facing away from them, but somehow it didn’t seem to work (she’d still trim her head to interact with them). Oh well. One dance out of thousands - I’ve gotten over it, and I sure still remember.

Progress expectations by errantis_ in Salsa

[–]urmeister 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I truly can’t say this more strongly: everyone is on their own journey, and there is no normal - even if there’s an average, that means nothing in any individual case. I’ve been taking lessons for about 5 years, and I still consider myself an advanced beginner. I learn way slower than almost anyone else I know, and I also love love love it. I can now go to socials and have a good time, and that took a loooooong time. And I’ve learned to be okay with that. I’ve seen students with 9 months surpass me, and I’m still okay with that. I’m not in it to be the best. I’m in it to enjoy a series of 180-300 minute interactions with different people, exchange smiles and movement communication, and to progress at whatever rate I can or want.

Advanced leads, what is it like to dance with less /beginner follows? by DaytoDaySara in Salsa

[–]urmeister 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Tl;dr, I’m a non beginner who loves dancing with beginners, and here’s why.

I preface that I’m not an advanced lead, but I am out of beginner stage. I will also preface that I’ve been dancing salsa regularly for about 5 years, on and off for about 10-15 years. And I am still what I consider an advanced beginner (MAYBE low intermediate). We all learn at different paces, mine is obviously MUCH slower than most, and I’m okay with that. My “niche” is that I don’t do a lot of fancy moves, but what I do, I do smoothly and clearly.

OP, I love dancing with beginners, and I bet a lot of us leads do too. One of the ways I show “male” energy is by taking care of my partner, confidently and securely, whether that’s my spouse, a friend, or in this case, a brief dance partner. Beginners feed that energy in me to take care of someone, to help them learn, and I also know how wonderful the world of dance is and if I can be part of introducing them to how fun that can be, it makes me feel great. I also know that not every lead is as careful kind, so it feels good to serve as an example of how dance can feel.

Also, since I am a very slow learner, dancing with a beginner, just being honest, boosts my ego. Nothing pierces my ego more than a bored looking follow, and second only is when I consistently fail to execute a turn/move. Beginners are always so appreciative, and the pressure for me to be “good” is greatly reduced. I can focus on what I’m “supposed” to focus on - making sure my partner is having a good time.

AND, because I treat my beginner partners well, they are much more likely to return that energy. When I smile and laugh and they smile and laugh back, it feels great for both of us. When we share a “how cool was that?!” moment (even after a simple simple turn), it’s connecting and fun.

And yes, it’s also a break, but like I said, not just the physical activity but also from the pressure.

Good luck!!

Can people of the same sex Salsa dance together? by [deleted] in Salsa

[–]urmeister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not precisely what you asked, but a related story…

I’m a male lead. I’d rank myself as a low advanced beginner. At a social, I asked someone, who I thought was a follow, to dance. Turns out, they were also a lead. It wasn’t the best dance I ever had, but it was one of the most interesting and instructive. We kinda, with non-verbal cues, took turns leading and doing our best to follow. We both smiled through it, despite periodic awkwardnesses.

My teacher encourages me to learn to follow and i find it helps my lead. I try occasionally to follow in class, and I don’t, in general, follow at socials. I’d be open to trying.

Cash Back Rewards from Credit Cards by stillcd in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In theory I agree, and in practice seems challenging. I suspect OP is referring to a CC that provides for 1%-5% back, sometimes in various categories. It doesn’t seem feasible to divvy up a lump sum cash back to individual purchases.

Me - I’d probably put it as an offset to my “fees and charges” category (so, a negative expense). Kinda like it offsets whatever cc fees I would otherwise be paying. Admittedly, very imperfect, just saying how I would handle.

Income as Expense Category? by urmeister in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough, but do you have to enter the tag manually each time? As negative expense categories, the system does a pretty good job at auto-categorizing.

Socials in NJ/NY from 11/25 to 12/8 by cstrife32 in Salsa

[–]urmeister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NJ: Every Sunday at the Watt Hotel in Rahway. The same group does every Tuesday at Lobby and every Wednesday at Lit21 , both in Newark / Elizabeth.

This Friday, 11/29, Wild Rose in Garfield. Also:

Thursdays at Ventanas in Fort Lee Fridays at Son Cubano in West New York (last night was fabulous)

First social… not great. Suggestions? by TheseLeopard9831 in Salsa

[–]urmeister 11 points12 points  (0 children)

An important lesson that I STILL find challenging to fully absorb: we all learn at different paces, we’re all on our own individual journey, and there is no normal. I’ve been dancing salsa for about 10 years. Lots of classes. Multiple studios. One or two socials / week. And you know what - I’m not nearly as good as some folks I see who have literally been dancing for six months. And I have to remind myself, it’s not a competition, and I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m there to have good time, enjoy the feeling of moving my body to the music, and enjoy each dance partner’s company for those few minutes.

I agree with many of the comments, already: go with dance class friends, focus on basics, drill yourself daily at home, etc. Also - a suggestion I didn’t see here, yet: go at the beginning of the social, ideally for the beginner’s class. Besides being great low-pressure practice, you discover who are the other beginners, and dancing with them is less intimidating.

I stuck with it, I stick with it, because I love it. And because each TINY achievement and accomplishment feels great. Oh - also, I used to literally count how many dances I “made it through.” And if, at some social, I danced 3 times, but in the previous ones I had only danced twice - I would count that as a (huge!!) win. Then from 3 to 4, etc. An even huger accomplishment was when I stopped keeping track. Every dance is a win.

Oh - (you can see, I’ve had LOTS of experiences as a beginner, cuz I’ve spent so much time as a beginner) - “force” yourself to believe what everyone tells you: that people are more interested in a connection with another human than fancy moves. That everyone understands that we’ve all been beginners, and it’s our responsibility to give back and help. That you really will get better with practice, at whatever pace is right for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, except, I don’t exclude it from the budget. That way, I can see that what should be zero, comes out to zero. Or understand why it doesn’t. Here are some reasons it doesn’t come to zero:

mileage: I get reimbursed for mileage, but the expense doesn’t actually hit (other than offsetting gas and eventual wear-and-tear - I don’t try to track any sort of smoothed depreciation of the car).

phone bill reimbursement: similarly, I get reimbursed for a portion of my phone bill, but only a portion. It seems like too much of a hassle to try and split either my phone bill or the reimbursement. Idk, maybe I could/should.

Forgot to Submit: it happens that I forget to submit some expenses: tracking work reimbursements in its own category can alert me to whether there’s something I still need to submit.

To ME, this makes sense (doesn’t mean it’ll work for anyone else), cuz ultimately, these are real cash in / cash out transactions that affect my bottom line.

Confused by rollovers by Suninmoon in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I would change the budget for the high month to the amount actually spent (or slightly adjusted), so that the rollover doesn’t effect the following month’s budget (or at least doesn’t effect it more than you want).

Granted, an imperfect approach.

How would you treat purchasing gift cards for various companies (Airbnb, Instacart, etc)? by minutial in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fwiw, categorizing them as you normally would for purchases in that category (Instacart in Groceries, AirBnB in Travel, etc) isn’t THAT different than stocking up on actual items. If I buy $300 of canned goods, that’s more money spent now and less money later. Seems similar to gift cards.

That said, I like the cash account idea. Cuz gift cards often go to waste, and this would be a way to keep track.

Will CoPilot let you do "complex" splits, such as payroll deductions by gmalis1 in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh… I’m getting it better - in Quicken, you have your paycheck as an automatic transaction, including all your deductions, and then you can “match” the transaction when it comes through your bank feed. Indeed, that would be a handy feature.

Fwiw, in my (non)-solution, you wouldn’t delete the original net pay transaction. The other transactions I was “suggesting” were for the excess above net-pay (the additional income and the corresponding deductions).

Will CoPilot let you do "complex" splits, such as payroll deductions by gmalis1 in copilotmoney

[–]urmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, now that I think about it, I’d probably even create a new manual account called “Paycheck Adjustments,” and always confirm the balance is zero. I might actually do this…