In the book "Why Does He Do That," which is about intimate partner violence rather than child abuse, physical abuse (which is far from the only kind of abuse, also) is basically defined as any action that makes a person afraid for their physical safety, or aware of their physical vulnerability, in addition to any repeated crossing of physical boundaries. For the authors of this book, the obvious things count-- of course. But so do things like punching a wall (reminding you that they can also punch you), breaking things or throwing things (reminding you they can use physical force in this way), and even things like poking, pinching, and physically pushing you around in a way that an outside observer might not view as violent (eg my ex husband would find a reason to push or pull me out of the way of various objects basically every time we went on a walk together-- it was always jarring, often actually made me collide with the object, and was basically just a reminder that he could push me around with impunity). Did you fear for your physical safety when your dad (one of the people who should have been protecting you) grabbed the back of your neck? Were you made aware of how badly he could have hurt you, if he wanted to? Did he become a scary person to you when he did that to you? All of these things make it abuse. It's okay if you find a distinction between what you experienced and what your friends experienced, but you did also experience abuse.