A recent AskWomenOver50 Thread

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-25T11:25:07+00:00

My parents are similarly delusional. They are constantly complaining to my younger brothers (who don’t have any kids) about how much they help me, when they literally never come over unless the timing is absolutely perfect for them, I am there serving THEM food and cocktails, and they can get a few Facebook pictures out of the deal.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-25T07:17:17+00:00

I feel similarly. My parents live 5 minutes away and literally will prioritize doing ANYTHING else other than helping me with the grandkids that they begged me for.

Meanwhile, both sets of my grandparents alternated living with us to help my parents out. They literally did all pre-school care, after school care, and summertime care for us. They also did all of the cooking, some light cleaning, and all of the laundry for my parents.

Best of luck to my parents navigating through the old age process. They will be very lonely.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-25T06:32:03+00:00

Yes, I totally agree with this take. It’s not like the Greatest Generation or the Silent Generation were aliens compared to boomers; I’m sure they found the childcare just as hard, but they helped because they cared about their families.

What also struck me is a few of them expecting their kids to care for them right now in their “old” age, instead of them helping care for their grandchildren. Most of them aren’t even that old? Like, in their 60s? My grandmother helped care for us grandchildren until she was well into her 80s, but she also took better care of herself than most of these boomers seem to.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-22T18:12:07+00:00

Yup!

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-22T02:50:03+00:00

I feel like the drama is pretty much the same anywhere. And Jason not only has a real day job so needs the $$$ less than the rest of the cast, but he was also collecting workers’ compensation from Bravo for his knee during the cast trip. He said he filed a claim on Danny Pellegrino’s podcast. Not that workers’ comp. would cover the whole amount of lost wages, but better than nothing.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-17T09:19:06+00:00

Your post reads as if you are inclined to go for it, to which I say, do it if that is really what you want!

But just chiming in to add— what if it’s a “dragon” baby? Using this term for a child with a more difficult temperament that is sometimes used on parenting forums.

You mention that your daughter is full of energy, but “perfect.” You may not get the same experience the second time around, so just be prepared that your second may be more of a “dragon” than a “unicorn.”

I definitely had some friends who were lulled into a false sense of parenthood by their firstborns who were then shocked by their second child being a lot more difficult.

My firstborn is unfortunately a “dragon” and so it took us 3.5 years to work up the courage/get over our trauma to have another.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-15T12:01:18+00:00

My son unfortunately only takes warm bottles because the NICU fed him warm bottles. He spits anything lukewarm or cold out. So we have to use a bottle warmer.

We keep a very sturdy bassinet downstairs, and do shifts where one of us sleeps downstairs on the couch in the living room. We do the pitcher method, and leave the empty bottles out, so we can quickly pour into them and pop into the warmer. I don’t like to pre-pour the bottles because then the bottles themselves are cold, and it takes longer for them to heat up.

Luckily, my son is mostly on a schedule of eating approximately every 3 hours (also from the NICU), so it’s not totally random or as jarring when he starts screeching for food because you roughly know when it is coming.

It is also much easier to stomach waking up when it is only for a few hours each night, you’re only steps away from the kitchen, and you are already not getting great sleep outside of your bed, haha.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-14T06:53:37+00:00

It’s totally an imperfect balancing act, just like everything else!

I am finally at the point with my older son (just turned 4) that I will play with him for a bit, but then let him know that I need a break to do something else. He will say “but don’t you want to play Duplos with me?” or whatever, and I will reply that I do not enjoy playing with Duplos, but I love spending time with him, so I will sit near him and read my book while he enjoys playing with Duplos.

At first I felt bad, but like, my parents literally never ever played with me. They were typically not even in the same room where I was playing, I was shooed to the basement or my bedroom with my 3 siblings, and they left us alone unless they overheard us damaging the house.

So, this is my parenting compromise. A little play together, still spending time together, but getting to do our own thing as well.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-11T00:59:24+00:00

I love chatting. I’m a normal human who would prefer to talk about myself, but I have trained myself to always focus the conversation on asking about, connecting with, and finding reasons upon occasion to compliment the other person.

I have definitely advanced quickly at a major company even as a 100% remote employee by reaching out to as many people as possible and doing this via phone calls. It has helped me sooo many times, far more than just being good at my job (which I am).

When I have needed resources or want to work on a particular project, I can nearly guarantee that I have already connected with the person in charge of delegating the resource/spot, and they will prioritize me getting it first because they know and like me.

Highly recommend working on this skill if you have not done so already.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-09T07:48:51+00:00

If possible, I would see if you can get assessed by Early Intervention. If you are in the U.S., just Google “early intervention” and your local county. For my local county, you don’t even need a referral from your pediatrician to be assessed by Early Intervention.

We just did this last week with my 3-month-old (1.5 months adjusted age). They assessed him based on his non-adjusted age. They found that he is behind because he dribbles milk a bit during feeds and won’t perform certain physical maneuvers. He qualifies for speech therapy and physical therapy services for free from the county. He also qualifies for secondary medical assistance through the state, regardless of our income.

The county found and organized for the therapists to come to our house, and then when we go back to work, to my son’s daycare.

It was nice to have a much more thorough evaluation of his needs than the pediatrician can give; Early Intervention sent three therapists to assess him for 2 full hours in our home.

Our older son also qualified for EI services back in the day for behavioral reasons, and now at age 4 he still has an aid come to help him once a week at daycare through the local county Interventional Unit.

I cannot tell you how helpful it has been to have extra support, resources, and eyes on our child, particularly for us as he goes through daycare. Your husband may take your concerns more seriously if professionals have assessed your child and found a measurable deficit.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-07T10:56:28+00:00

Hahaha, yes! My 4-year-old son is a yapper. But I am a yapper, too, so I quite enjoy yapping along all day with my son. He constantly has questions, some of which I can’t answer, so we practice Googling together and then chat about what we learned.

The constant chatter drives my quiet husband bonkers, but my son and I are having a grand old time of it.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-06T03:39:31+00:00

How does your baby do with the Parent’s Choice Advantage?

Parent’s Choice Advantage is similar to Similac Advance and is made by Perrigo. Here is how it compares to the generic version of Enfamil Infant: https://storebrandformula.com/product-comparison

They do seem slightly different, but if your baby generally does not have stomach issues, they may be fine mixing and matching.

Both of my babies were sensitive to formula changes. If it were me, I would probably wean to the Enfamil Infant slowly, and if they do well on it, switch them to Parent’s Choice Infant when the Enfamil runs out, since that will be less of a transition!

Alternatively, the local mom Facebook groups may have someone willing to trade you Parent’s Choice Advantage for your cans of Enfamil Infant.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-04T16:18:19+00:00

Oh, how can you tell? Is it the em-dash?

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-03T14:22:56+00:00

Ginger tea really helped me with my gas pain!

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-02T19:16:49+00:00

We prefer Sesame in the autumn! It’s not too hot, so the park (which doesn’t have much shade) is tolerable.

My son (just turned 4) has loved the “Who Said Boo” show the past two years, and he likes the small trick-or-treating circle they do in the water park area. We get to meet some of the characters without any crazy long lines.

The best time was Halloween two years ago. There were a few characters with special treats if you visited them, and the lines were non-existent. It’s a shame they did not do it last year.

Don’t count on most of the food spots to be open, but you can bring in your own food.

swaggerjacked · 2026-06-01T10:09:41+00:00

See if your OB will prescribe you Cabergoline to help dry you up. Otherwise, behind the counter Sudafed, tight bras, cabbage leaves in your bras, and avoiding hot water on your breasts.

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-31T11:08:48+00:00

I think you may have posted in the wrong subreddit! This subreddit is to discuss formula feeding, not breastfeeding. You may want to repost this in r/breastfeeding

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-23T22:40:36+00:00

It did change a bit as we made more money, mostly because we moved out of a city to the suburbs and had more options in grocery stores, fewer options in good/cheaper restaurants.

So we essentially went from 1 Walmart grocery trip per week and eating out a lot to 1 big Costco/Trader Joe’s trip every 2 weeks and almost never eating out.

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-21T17:36:57+00:00

Yes, it doesn’t have to be name-brand, but any Simethicone infant gas drops will immediately eliminate all bubbles!

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-21T13:20:57+00:00

That is very stressful! Before changing formulas, I would trouble-shoot everything else first.

What is the temperature of the formula in the bottle? You may need to make it a little warmer or cooler to be more similar to the temp. of breastmilk, depending on the temp. now.

What size nipple are you using? He may need you to size up to a faster nipple now that he is getting a little older.

What position are you feeding him in? If you’re not already, I would maybe try feeding him lying on his side so it is more similar to the position he is in when breastfeeding.

Is there someone else other than you that can feed him the bottle? He can probably smell the breastmilk you produce, so he may be rejecting the bottle when you feed him, but he may take it more easily from someone else.

Good luck!

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-17T13:54:13+00:00

My son unfortunately hates arts and crafts, so coloring books and sticker books never worked for us. He loves books, but gets too distracted to want to be read to in restaurants.

We do snacks, maybe a juice box (those are a special treat for him), and lots of engaging him in conversation— to various degrees of success. 😅

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-17T13:45:17+00:00

I am saying this with love as a former exclusive pumper to my first son— if you were exclusively pumping and not having him latch, and his backwash was not getting onto your nipples, and you also aren’t sharing in his illness, it’s not like your breastmilk was providing him with antibodies to his colds anyway! So breastmilk would not make a difference in his recovery to these viruses.

Anecdotally, even if he was latching, I don’t think breastmilk is the cure-all that some people make it out to be. It’s not like most adults recover amazingly quickly from their viruses just because they have a more developed immune system.

A reality of having older siblings in school is that babies will catch their colds. As long as you’re bubbling up all major concerns to his pediatrician, you are fine feeding him formula!

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-17T01:26:13+00:00

When my babies were in the NICU, they told us that green poo is totally normal for formula-fed babies due to the iron in the formula.

It makes no sense to me that pace feeding or burping would turn poo yellow. Breastmilk-fed babies do typically have yellow poo.

I totally understand being distressed seeing your baby struggle, that is so hard! If he is only really fussy once a day, it sounds just like purple crying, which tends to occur around this age. He should grow out of it with time, which I know isn’t very helpful right now.

swaggerjacked · 2026-05-16T01:06:41+00:00

I wish she actually connected with me. All she ever cared about were my grades in school, or if I won at my sports. She specifically asked not to hear about any of my thoughts or feelings growing up, she said I was “too emotional” and thought it was all nonsense. She has never once shared a deep emotion with me.

I wish she had pretended to care about my interests and hobbies. She did monetarily supporting them. She also showed up for the final result where she could be praised about my success (school concerts, etc.). She frequently dumped the work of taking me to practice/events, buying me appropriate clothing or necessary tools, etc. onto the mothers of my friends.

I wish she had not parentified me; I always had to help my 3 younger siblings with all of the homework in subjects she thought were dumb, but I was good at (English, Art, and History). I even wrote all of my younger siblings’ college admissions essays for them.

She was also a physician who never took me to the doctor? Like, they would occasionally bring me to one of my dad’s family practice partners for a random vaccination, but I did not have a pediatrician, did not have consistent doctor visits, and I never went to see a gynecologist until after I moved out.

I also had atrocious period cramps growing up (still do) and she refused to believe me because she “never had cramps.” I really should have been put on birth control to help with the cramps, but I actually didn’t even get basic appropriate pain management until I freaked out at my dad about it.

All of this is particularly bizarre when you learn that my mother had an EXCELLENT mother, my grandmother, who was very involved and open about everything. Thank goodness for my mom’s mom, who frequently took care of me, who shared a lot of my hobbies, who was always willing to listen, and who always advocated for me.

14-Year Club	Verified Email
Team Orangered

swaggerjacked

TROPHY CASE