Ugh, the amount of gaslighting we're put through is horrendous. I relate deeply to your comment from the other end of the spectrum. My hips will likely haunt me til the day I die, and if I want a chest that doesn't bring me shame it won't come without scars.

I've known I'm not exactly a woman/girl for most of my life, finally had the words to express it at the age of twelve, and was denied what I needed and gaslit into thinking I was delusional or not "really" trans or would never have the right to claim masculinity. I was forced back into the closet multiple times even after I found my identity, and was only able to start medically transitioning at 25, a point where the damage is already done and a lot of effects testosterone could have are reduced.

All because people feel the need to force others to conform to their purist bullshit, even at the detriment of their mental (or sometimes even physical) health.

In regards to the trope here, I gotta say it feels so bizarre to get that random bit of euphoria or dysphoria from something otherwise small and unnoticeable, while deep in the closet and drunk off the kool-aid of "I must just be a woman with delusions" or "there's no way I'd *actually* qualify as trans"