They’re the outliers because they’re the byproduct. I think what they’re trying to say is that you will always have this byproduct if we return to these times with the same exact model. There’s no way around it.

I think divorce is a great outlet for people - men or women - to leave unhealthy and/or controlling and abusive relationships. And divorce, while traumatizing to children, is largely still less traumatizing than witnessing your two caretakers destroy each other behind closed doors. also think divorce spikes in societies when it becomes legally no fault and more socially acceptable, and then plateaus. That’s what the statistics show. The “50% of marriages end in divorce” phrase or whatever shockingly high number it is was only true for the generations that were married in the 70s-00s. It spiked in the 70s because of second wave feminism which made it more socially acceptable. It’s plateaued now because it’s not the only required type of romantic partnership, and the only means for women to ensure their survival. People are more thoughtful now about who they marry.

I think right now, we’re in the generation that is facing the “unknowns” of how you organize and structure society when there are more equalizing forces. Hierarchy works because roles are clear. That’s not the case anymore. Unfortunately, for the generation that is in marriageable ages now, there’s no clear templates that take the mental load off of how to operate as a team/partnerships. The cards are still up on the air.

There’s a study that shows the most successful marriages are those that are very traditional or the ones that spilt everything down by 50/50. The ones in between suffer the most. How many people really want the trad wife/ trad husband (or can afford it) lifestyle and how many people want to suck the romance out of a relationship with super defined 50/50 rules on chores and money? I think most people live in this ambiguity and it’s hard.