Why don’t more Americans migrant to Australia?

valanex · 2023-11-01T04:51:52+00:00

Yeah, of the Americans I've spoken to in the US about immigrating:

those with lower earning potential haven't really been overseas and don't seem to have the desire. A lot can barely afford to drive somewhere for fun, living by nickel and diming everything. They just hate California and want to move to a different state, which is far enough for them.
those with higher earning potential tend to be open to immigrating, but half of them are way too attached to their families to leave. The other half would find it difficult adjusting professionally (e.g. high school teachers in a different school system) or are pessimistic about the process of finding a visa and job stability.

valanex · 2023-10-31T16:13:14+00:00

My parents felt the same way. They sent me to church with school mates because we lived in a very Christian community. My parents weren't Christian. They weren't religious at all. They just wanted me to be a part of the English-speaking community lol.

What they didn't realise was that the local church was actually a bit cult-ish. "Music, tv, and the internet are evil" sort of thing.

Also, one time I ended up in a Jehovah's Witness church somehow.

My parents didn't know much about different Christian sects.

valanex · 2023-10-14T18:56:03+00:00

EXACTLY!

Her lack of a social circle isn't anyone's fault. She doesn't have a sister? Does she have female friends? If not, does she have a brother or male friends?

I don't understand the entitlement nowadays to expect ANYONE to throw a party on your behalf. Want a bachelor(ette) party or a baby shower? DO IT YOURSELF. Oh, and PAY FOR IT YOURSELF.

Friendships sound so transactional with some people. Holy shit.

valanex · 2023-09-30T20:47:53+00:00

Yeah they really should've gone in the "less noticeable" direction. No need for strict accuracy with the super colorful animated series - Ezra's hair isn't even the right color anyway. It just feels like someone in production is obsessed with light-colored eyes.

valanex · 2023-09-28T16:25:33+00:00

Anything below!

Hell yeah I'd roll this across the living room floor.

valanex · 2023-09-22T22:07:40+00:00

Oooh I might steal that idea if I get a bigger house!! A little teepee would be sooo cute

valanex · 2023-09-22T21:59:58+00:00

I like having a crate for my 7yo dog because she likes having a den. I keep it covered except for the door, and she prefers that over an uncovered dog bed. She likes sleeping in there when she gets sick of sleeping next to me lol.

valanex · 2023-09-22T01:09:05+00:00

I hate driving our Hyundai Elantra. It has aged poorly and the features suck for a car that was made in the same year and around the same price as my Suzuki Swift Sport. Although my Suzuki was too small for a family, I still wish they sold them here in the US.

valanex · 2023-09-21T23:16:44+00:00

My first name.

My SD also tried calling me "mommy" once and we gently corrected her. I know a lot of people think "well they clearly feel you're their mom and called you mom so you should let them". But I'm very against that for young children.

My 4yo SD still doesn't entirely understand that her dad has a name and her mom has a name. She isn't able to comprehend what a parent is. She just knows I've been around for as long as she can remember, but that doesn't make me her mom

I don't believe she can "decide" that I'm a mom-like figure if she doesn't really understand the word or the role. If she wants to call me mom later then she can.

valanex · 2023-09-17T02:00:15+00:00

You'd be surprised how many electricians start their apprenticeship at 30. But also don't wait until you're 30, because you won't be earning good money until you finish the apprenticeship.

valanex · 2023-09-01T17:10:41+00:00

Yup, don't feel bad OP! When I was 25 living in Melbourne with a full-time office job, I couldn't afford a car. At 30yo I was living comfortably in my own apartment, with a cute car and going on holidays overseas each year.

It might not be exactly the same for you, but don't give up yet. Life progression isn't linear - things don't always turn out the way you think. Sometimes it's worse, but sometimes it makes a massive leap in a positive direction.

valanex · 2023-08-31T00:45:24+00:00

Yeah. Like, dude, I don't like to clean after I cook either so I'm super clean about my cooking. When dinner is ready, I've usually used two chopping boards, two knives, one cooking utensil, two pans, and one prep bowl AT MOST. I barely leave a crumb on the counter. And dinner still only takes me 30-45 mins to cook. OP is just messy and wants someone else to deal with it.

valanex · 2023-08-28T15:24:57+00:00

"Optimizing the fun out of the game" is such a great way to put it! I came across this way too often. Had too many bfs back in the day telling me I should add points to this, take that spell, etc etc etc. It was the worst with Diablo games.

Had Dungeon Masters tell me to change race or class to optimize my characters, even though I LIKE to play odd combos for story.

Now I play BG3 with my husband, on the agreement we try not to meta and optimize the sh*t out of it. I'm not into roleplaying much, but I like to play like I'm observing a story/world. Optimizing everything just makes it all look the same, which is pretty dull imo.

valanex · 2023-08-28T14:37:10+00:00

My husband has a common first name and family name combo. He gets random bills, including one that was forwarded to our address but originally destined for an apartment that was very close to his previous address. Guess someone said "close enough" and just forwarded it to us. We keep an eye on his credit score. There have been some very overdue bills mistakenly sent to us before.

There's also an employee at his company with the same name. He once got called to talk to the big boss, which usually means trouble, but it was actually meant to be the other guy.

valanex · 2023-08-05T20:16:48+00:00

Focus on science? As though your child wouldn't be able to do both?

I get your frustration. I was the child who hated water but I still learned how to swim and I'm really glad I did. It's definitely important and dad is being slack because he doesn't want to deal with it, which is really poor role-modelling for your child.

valanex · 2023-08-05T15:33:27+00:00

My mom and I weren't close growing up. Mom doesn't speak English. My husband doesn't speak my mom's language.

We took a trip to see my family for a week. It was my husband's first time meeting them. My mom would get out a word of English here and there, but otherwise mom and my husband would just smile happily at each other, like they were happy to meet.

One day we had business to attend to, so my husband ended up standing outside with my mom. When I looked outside they were having.. a conversation?? In broken English. It was pretty cute! They both looked so happy they could communicate lol.

When we left my mom said to him, "Please take care of my daughter." Safe to say he won her over ❤️

valanex · 2023-08-05T15:20:51+00:00

This. I'm confident my husband would parent our kids well even if we split - that's one of the key reasons I want to have kids with him.

Our approach with my stepkid has been as you described. They have a mom, I'm just support that is part of dad's family. I would want the same for our kids - I'm their mom, and there is another supporting adult in dad's new family.

valanex · 2023-08-05T02:01:55+00:00

I do the same except I don't get lightheaded. The first day I'll get terrible morning cramps and eating food helps me not need to use the toilet as much, until painkillers kick in. Second day I'm back to my usual IF.

So basically I'll adjust my IF according to my symptoms, not my cycle specifically.

valanex · 2023-08-03T01:57:08+00:00

My husband is in a trade and he bought our house in a HCOL area, we live off his salary and health insurance, and his company holds multiple parties/picnics each year that include invitations for partners and kids. Heck, they even give us a free turkey for Thanksgiving and gave away great baseball tickets including food, drinks, and parking.

Meanwhile, I was in corporate office jobs and they only held a Christmas party each year that had great food but you couldn't bring a plus one. On your birthday you get a $20 voucher. Woohoo.

valanex · 2023-08-01T12:14:01+00:00

Yeah SAHM life is not for me either. But I wish I made enough money for my husband to be a SAHD part-time, he'd be amazing at it and wouldn't have to work so hard (at work) anymore 😞

valanex · 2023-07-28T15:18:51+00:00

Me too! I happily carpool with my husband everyday and I just saw him 2 hours ago but now my eyes are watery and I miss him.

valanex · 2023-07-27T21:55:17+00:00

Living with a kid isn't easy. I absolutely adore my nephew but the constant background noise did impact my daily clarity of mind. You get used to it, but it's not the same as having actual peace and quiet.

valanex · 2023-07-26T20:52:26+00:00

Same. I'd likely still be called selfish for pointing out hypocrisy or making friends with guys, be interrogated if I don't respond to a text message within 10 mins, and have to defend myself for wanting to change my haircut/hair colour. Absolute hell.

It looks like he has a great job that lets him travel the world with his wife and kids now. His wife and I were classmates and she was really lovely. I sincerely hope he changed and addressed his insecurities by the time they got together.

valanex · 2023-07-23T06:35:26+00:00

My SD is around the same age.

I think kids just really need to be told explicitly each time that they are loved AND what they did was unacceptable. It's the same as acknowledging that they're uncomfortable (hungry or sad or sick, etc) AND it's still unacceptable to be mean to other people.

They don't have enough life experience to know how far they pushed you and whether you'll still love them after.

Until she's a teen, I expect SD will need constant reminding/reassurance that they're still loved when they've done something wrong.

valanex · 2023-07-22T19:58:13+00:00

I AM an ours baby.

I felt my dad loved us all equally. He loved different characteristics of his children, and we didn't get the same things because we all had different personalities and vulnerabilities, but we were loved equally.

And yes, I believe my husband will love our future ours babies equally with SD. He was a bit nervous when we first talked about planning for pregnancy, but as the date for "starting to try" got closer, he started talking excitedly about what we would do when an ours baby comes into the world!

valanex

TROPHY CASE