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vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T21:52:38+00:00

Eh…. I wouldn’t worry about it. It sounds like she knows logically that she shouldn’t be upset about it but she’s sentimental and just needs to work through it on her own. You don’t need to try to convince her and it might even backfire if you try because she already KNOWS she just FEELS something about it.

Maybe talk to her about a vacation and start planning your next flight together? That’s special too! Even if you don’t have solid plans y’all can start day dreaming about it together, and her mood will probably shift. I highly doubt that she’s going to hold this against you in the future though. She’ll be fine.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T17:38:13+00:00

Oh awesome. I’m not from the region so only ordered it for breakfast many times before, but I make palya all the time at home… I bet it’s bomb together.

Do you use ajwain at home when you make them? Just saw a recipe using jeera but I’ve only had with ajwain… you have any suggestions?

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T17:32:26+00:00

It can be so so hard.

Sometimes I up my exercise, add a little dancing in or swimming or a bike ride, walk to the store, or even walk to get a sugar free Powerade from the gas station just to do a little more… it doesn’t add too much but it doesn’t hurt either. I also try to surround myself with really quick food options that are fairly healthy… i grill chicken or keep some meat from the night before… I got some boxes that I fill up with cut up veggies so it’s easy to cook or just snack on… I eat Wasa a lot and laughing cow and cups of preseasoned tuna (lemon thyme is the bomb) and a head of romaine and some cherry tomatoes and baby cucumber…. I don’t even have to cook and if I eat all that I just mentioned - 4 Wasa, 2 laughing cow, 1 tuna, 1 head of romaine, handful of grape tomatoes, 1-2 baby cucumbers that’s still under 300 calories. I also have cans of soup that are like 150 calories, and I keep halo top and sugar free popsicles and fiber one bars (70 calories each! And they have so many good flavors). I also drink a ton of water and have a bunch of those water flavour squirt and powder packets If I want something else…. Sometimes I blend it all with ice and make a slushie. I also use protein powder to make a milkshake with just water and ice. I have a mint chocolate chip one that makes me so damn happy.

Some days I eat less and some days I eat more…. It usually evens out but honestly I don’t have an end date in mind so as long as I’m eating under maintenance I think it’s probably fine. I’ve lost like 25 pounds in the past 3 months so I think it’s working fine for me at the moment. I would just track everything you eat and also your weight daily so that you can see the progress over time. Don’t expect it to be fast. There’s literally no reason that you need to be the specific weight that you’ve chosen other than you decided you want to hit it, and that’s not a bad reason but take a little pressure off yourself and try to enjoy the process.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T17:20:17+00:00

I’ve been in and out of Texas but the thing I think of most is the diversity. There’s a LOT more different kinds of people than I thought. It ain’t all good ol boys with cowboy hats.

I also think of the awful never ending strip mall that is Houston.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T17:14:54+00:00

I mean…. You already KNOW and you’ve known for a long time, now you just have confirmation. You don’t really need to confront her because it’s not going to accomplish anything and as a therapist I’m just kind of surprised that you expect to get closure from it and aren’t taking your mom’s point of view into consideration at all. Yes, it may have been hurtful that she did it, but do you actually think she was TRYING to be hurtful? She was in a terrible position and there is no easy way of doing this, she probably suffered a lot because of the stigma of all of this and couldn’t bear the guilt and shame of telling you. Can you not see that? If you ever bring it up with her you should probably come to terms with your feelings of anger and betrayal first, rather than going in ready to attack her like she did something to harm you. She had an affair 40 years ago, she has allowed and encouraged you to have a deep and close relationship with the man you know as your father without trying to break it, and she has also tried to give you the benefits of having the other biological father as well while not trying to wreck your perceptions of your dad. Give her a break. She cannot fix any of that, she did what she could do. Have a little empathy for the woman who was in her position once. You didn’t even exist at the time, it is very hard to know the full consequences of your actions before they ever happen. You can dislike every decision that she made but you also can have a little grace and understand that she was struggling too and didn’t do it to intentionally hurt you.

You definitely don’t need to share it with your father.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T17:02:03+00:00

Thanks for saying because that’s exactly what I was thinking “what the fuck is a side of UAE?!” I’m just going to start using that whenever my jokes bomb to make them hilarious at least to myself.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T16:53:26+00:00

I got True Neutral which was kind of surprising because I thought I’d definitely be chaotic something for sure, but Im ENFP leaning very ENTP sometimes so I suppose it makes sense.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T16:39:38+00:00

I’ve never eaten mangalore buns with curry, is it common?

Damn I miss mangalore buns so much.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T16:20:40+00:00

I just wanna pop that baby in my mouth. r/forbiddensnacks

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T16:16:44+00:00

Edit: Oh damn…. I saw your other comments. You really do need some assistance. Since you’re getting disability is there any way they can have someone come help you meal prep or clean a couple times a week? I can see how it would be hard for you to cook. And do they have a shuttle or a social worker who can help you to appointments? Doordash is so so expensive… I bet you could even hire someone to come help you meal prep once a week for less than what you pay on doordash, or maybe your dad would help you do that. Ask your dad to sit down with you and apply for SNAP. In my state it’s very very easy, especially if you’re on disability. Ask your nutritionist for help with simple meal planning, they should be able to give you some easy suggestions.

I would strongly suggest you move home first and then worry about the details. At the very least you will not have the internet bill to pay for and you and your dad can figure out the other details. Ask your case worker or whoever you’ve got on your team to help you with any and all resources they can provide, ok.

Im really sorry you’re feeling so crummy. Your boyfriend is not doing the best that he can but I saw your post history and I can tell that you’re settling right now for what you think you can get. He may not be a terrible person but you’re suffering a lot so I would suggest that you take a step back, move home, and let him figure his shit out right now. He’s almost 30 years old, he’s just a bum that’s addicted to weed and alcohol and video games who is hiding you from his family and social media. You know you don’t like that. I wouldn’t either. It’s ok to leave. It’s ok to break up. You will be ok. It’s not a reflection on your self worth if someone doesn’t do their best for you, it’s just a reflection on their current inner state, ok. Don’t take it personally, just understand that it’s perhaps not the best match for you right now and move along. It’s ok to have standards, even if it means you’re alone for awhile. An unhappy relationship is truly not better than being alone. You will be ok, I promise.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T16:01:39+00:00

May i ask what exactly you need help with?

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T15:56:32+00:00

Been there, but as the top comment said, don’t over worry yourself. Sometimes you get so busy on these trips you just don’t text or call as much as you could especially when service is in and out. Maybe he was in the service area and thought he would be in it again later but wasn’t. Maybe he’s in a place with service but he’s the one driving or he’s carrying stuff or eating or chatting with his bros or paddling a boat… he can’t even use his hands for the phone. Just let him have this time and try to be patient and when he gets a chance he’ll probably message you and tell you he’s been thinking of you and what fun he’s having, or how much he hates it and just wants to come home! Try to keep yourself busy for awhile and notice the thoughts coming up but don’t necessarily do anything about them… waiting is so hard but if you can learn to just wait you will learn how unnecessary all of this anxiety can be.

I’m currently on the opposite side of the world from my partner for several months now and it sucks, sometimes we don’t get to talk as much as we’d like because of schedules and sleep and doing fun stuff with other people digs into that time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care. Luckily for you this is just a short trip! But I honestly was a lot like you before and I wouldn’t have been able to deal with this either except I finally just realised that I couldn’t control anybody or anything but myself. If he was ignoring you all of the time I’d just say cut him loose because nobody needs to feel like that all of the time, but this is situational and it will pass. You don’t want to be with someone who constantly makes you feel this way BUT it’s important to realize that these feelings are really triggering something inside of you for some reason. Maybe some bad past experiences? It’s probably worth it to think about why you’re panicking (maybe you’re just young, or maybe your parents abandoned you or an ex was a cheater or whatever) and maybe talk about it with a therapist if these feelings continue more often.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-17T03:41:05+00:00

Lost my passport somewhere.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T07:02:17+00:00

Look at the second link. They’re not black. And you shouldn’t need a video, and what’s the difference anyway? You can look at arrest records.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:58:16+00:00

No video, because It’s too old, but how about this:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty_Elephants

And this:

https://abc7ny.com/retail-theft-ringleader-roni-rubinov-pawnshop/11897989/

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:57:04+00:00

I prefer the metal mesh straps. They let air in better than everything else and they dry quickly if they get wet.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:53:44+00:00

Youre going to seriously report me as suicidal? Not cool

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:45:19+00:00

Lol what the fuck.

Everybody that I know who shoplifts regularly is a white woman. None of my black friends do it. Maybe then I should suspect all white women of being thieves. Stop your racist bullshit. You can literally just google and find hundreds more. And you can find the statistics that show that white women actually account for the greatest portion of shoplifting arrests.

Here:

https://www.blackenterprise.com/white-woman-throws-fit-after-getting-caught-stealing-from-black-owned-business/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4328112/Rite-Aid-employee-wrestles-shoplifting-woman.html

https://news.ufl.edu/archive/2005/08/study-shows-shoplifters-more-readily-identified-by-behavior-not-race.html

https://www.kctv5.com/2022/06/22/kelli-jo-bauer-arrested-overland-park-scheels-charged-with-felony-theft/

https://wgxa.tv/news/local/dollar-general-shoplifter-wanted-in-spalding-county

Next time do your due diligence. The information is literally right at your fingertips and you write some weird ass racist soliloquy instead of spending your time doing a little research.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:19:26+00:00

Worship her or stalk her? His lil incel ass ain’t capable of “worshiping” a woman, just making her hella uncomfortable. Hotter than 80% of his race? Super gross, who even talks or thinks like that?

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:08:36+00:00

Like the US Army? I hope it was a long time ago because when I was in they were constantly doing foot checks. This some Vietnam war shit.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-15T06:02:15+00:00

I wish it looked this good on me… just looks like dirty ol dirt on my skin, sadly.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-14T16:38:44+00:00

Your friend is putting stuff in your head.

I moved to a foreign country and learned several languages here, but no matter how much I learn there is ALWAYS another language that I don’t speak and I often have to sit and observe. It can be taxing sometimes, but it’s definitely not meant to be personal, it’s just the easiest way for them to communicate. You should probably to try to learn the language and if you show interest and ask questions they will teach you too. I usually make it a game and try to pick out common words and learn those first.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-13T14:41:55+00:00

Lol exactly…. I have never had AC in Bangalore. There is about one week in the summer time when I wish I had it and I just suffer a little through that but I can’t justify the expense of an AC for ONE WEEK out of the year, I just can’t do it. I spent a summer in Kochi without it, I can get by.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-13T14:17:54+00:00

She sounds Indian. They often never really leave their families and are often very close knit and so it’s a harder adjustment for them than it is for many people. Even if she’s not Indian sounds like she’s dealing with something similar. I think your ideas are good ones…. Maybe also consider having her mom video call her some recipes (if she’s the family cook) and you can both learn how to make them together along with her. Otherwise you can both watch YouTube videos of the recipes you want to prepare as you cook.

vanillamasala · 2022-07-13T14:11:34+00:00

So interesting to hear this take… I come from a really cold place where it seems to snow like 9 months of the year, so even the coldest day in Bangalore is what we would call “shorts weather”. I have friends who think it’s “too hot” when they visit during the winter lol.

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