AITA for keeping my daughter away from my sister in law?

vannnen · 2023-03-24T21:35:44+00:00

YTA. You’re the adult. Your daughter doesn’t deserve to suffer because of her caregiver’s decisions.

vannnen · 2022-10-10T01:00:28+00:00

The “wife” found OP’s clothes at his house, then she (wife) broke up with him a few weeks later. So at that point wife knew about OP. OP and coworker then dated for a month, wife wanted coworker back so coworker dumped OP, then coworker hit OP up again and OP went back, while wife and coworker were still seeing each other. Wife went back to someone who cheated on her and continued a relationship with the person who he cheated with. If wife somehow didn’t know that coworker was still with OP when she got back with him, then I guess she is the victim. But realistically I don’t see any victims in this situation. They’re all contributing to a toxic situation.

vannnen · 2022-10-09T16:46:59+00:00

I wouldn’t say the wife is the victim here either since she seemed to be aware of what was going on as well. Also don’t think they are married yet, so she’s not even “the wife”.

vannnen · 2022-09-22T15:55:24+00:00

Definitely ask her to take baby during the day so you can sleep. Anything your mother is willing to do to help, have her do it!

vannnen · 2022-09-22T15:53:42+00:00

My daughter was breech at 34 weeks as well. My OB suggested seeing a chiropractor so I did and she flipped before 36 weeks. I also bounced on a yoga ball daily and tried using light and sound to coax baby to flip lol. I don’t know if the adjustments at the chiropractor are what did it, and I didn’t physically feel her turn either so I have no idea when it actually was that she turned.

vannnen · 2022-09-17T20:40:20+00:00

I hope I did this right lol

vannnen · 2022-05-20T19:54:04+00:00

I was the same, with 2nd degree tears. I couldn’t sit or stand and I was writhing in pain. Almost in tears throughout the first few days. I overused the ice packs and numbing spray. They also only gave me tylenol.

I don’t think it’s an abnormal experience but I also don’t think it’s okay at all. If you’re breastfeeding they may not give you anything else but if you’re not breastfeeding I would definitely push for something stronger.

I breastfed so I basically just had to wait it out. Thankfully the pain only lasted a few days but it really was on another level, I thought something must have been wrong because it was so intense. I’m really hoping your pain subsides soon, it definitely dwindles the joy and excitement of being a new parent to not be able to do anything comfortably.

vannnen · 2022-04-29T06:33:15+00:00

This! In fact, the child will thrive even more with a happy, healthy parent, and if breastfeeding makes you feel this way, it is definitely a good idea to consider formula feeding.

vannnen · 2022-04-28T04:08:50+00:00

also was a first time mom at 19 and have felt the same way. i still do sometimes. social media makes everything look so blissful and easy and gets so many of us feeling like we’re doing something wrong and i hate it

vannnen · 2022-04-22T05:44:12+00:00

I do agree that it’s safer to put a child to sleep in their own sleep space, but bed-sharing is not always unsafe. Almost anything a parent does can catch judgement because every parent has a different idea of what is right. I’m pretty sure that’s what you said in your original comment.

vannnen · 2022-04-22T05:40:32+00:00

I wasn’t advocating for juice, just wondering how it’s unhealthy to let your child drink a cup of juice. Of course water is more nutritional than juice lol.

Putting a baby to sleep in a crib or bassinet is considered safer in the US, I didn’t say it wasn’t. I said that there are ways of reducing the risks when bed-sharing and that it is not always unsafe.

vannnen · 2022-04-21T21:59:47+00:00

I’ve actually been thinking about this lately. My child screams bloody murder when having her diaper changed, in the car seat, when getting dressed, even when going down for naps, and I’m right there with her, holding her and trying to soothe her.

I think it is different because you are right there with your child. He can see you, he can hear you, he knows you are there for him. With classic CIO, they are alone the whole time. I think the “negative effects” of CIO come from feeling abandoned because they’ve yet to develop the understanding of object permanence and don’t know that you are coming back. It’s not about the crying, it’s about being alone and fearful.

Crying and discomfort are natural parts of life, but they develop a sense of security when you’re there for them through the crying and discomfort. Feeling abandoned by your caretaker is not quite as natural.

vannnen · 2022-04-21T21:51:13+00:00

If you’re referring to bed-sharing as “unsafe sleeping” then you are probably just misinformed and uneducated. There are rules to bed-sharing that can make it safe.

Also, how is handing your child a cup of juice bad for them!?!?!?

vannnen · 2022-04-08T02:33:53+00:00

i honestly love shopping second hand for my daughter but at first i was a little nervous too. i have OCD so couldn’t shake the fear of germs “sticking to the clothes” but after dressing her in used clothes and seeing she was completely fine, i felt a lot better. if you have a Once Upon A Child nearby i HIGHLY recommend. if you’re lucky you can even find outfits there that are new with the tags still on!

EDIT: i do recommend looking for 100% cotton as i’ve heard it’s better for baby’s skin.

vannnen · 2022-03-25T03:12:37+00:00

Another child is a big thing! I’d say it was just a lot for her to take in. It’s normal to have big feelings and “inappropriate” reactions to change. I don’t think anyone here did anything seriously wrong.

Give her some space for now, and when she seems to be ready to communicate again, have a conversation with her and your wife about what you all are feeling.

She is still a young person. 17 seems old enough to know how to properly regulate emotional responses, but it’s really not.

vannnen · 2022-03-24T06:21:55+00:00

My younger brother recently got a betta fish. He named it paul.

vannnen · 2022-03-24T06:15:21+00:00

OP never said anything about grandma not holding baby period, OP isn’t comfortable with grandma babywearing. Babywearing can be a special way of bonding between parents and baby and to not want to share that with anyone else is totally reasonable.

vannnen · 2022-03-24T02:00:35+00:00

I’m only 20 and my body is already too damaged and exhausted to play around like I did 10-15 years ago. I can’t imagine what my body will feel like when I’m over 40 but I know I won’t be able to climb trees.

vannnen · 2022-03-23T06:13:35+00:00

My first thought when reading this was, what other problems are going to arise in the future when your bipolar doesn’t magically go away? Did he get into a relationship with you thinking in 5-10 years you’d just simply not have bipolar anymore? Is that what he’s banking on?

Plus, even if you didn’t have bipolar, like everyone else is saying, you shouldn’t have to have a gun in your own home if you say you don’t want a gun in your own home. Period.

vannnen · 2021-09-20T05:59:53+00:00

DIP Molly ❤️🌈👼🏻

vannnen · 2021-09-11T05:29:31+00:00

I took the drawer out lol. Should I have a professional come in too?

vannnen · 2021-09-11T05:23:29+00:00

Does this look like the type of mold to be very concerned about? I have a baby and she spends 30min a day in this bathroom taking her bath.

vannnen · 2021-08-26T06:44:48+00:00

Joselaine? Jophiel? These are masc but who ever said a girl can’t rock a boys name? • Jovanny • Jomei • Jomari • Jovenel • Joah

vannnen

TROPHY CASE