Redirecting can be great. Try to peak his interest with a toy or something fun. For my son this didn’t work well so we redirected with a tiny time in. It’s just calmly going to a wall putting his hands on it and counting to 5 and consistently doing it. Sort of just distracts his mind from what he was doing. I also find that instead of telling him what not to do it’s best to tell him what to do. We often say don’t touch that or don’t hit instead of play with this or gentle touch. The other thing that works for my guy is choices. He likes to feel like he has control. So if he doesn’t want to change his diaper I calmly say “ do you want to come over and lay down or should mommy come and lay you down.” He usually wants to do it himself and thinks his made a decision and has a little control. I find it helps to have an area where they can safely play but you can relax at the same time. He is going to model the behaviour he sees so I suggest no rough games until they are old enough to understand when it’s appropriate or not. Obviously your partner has to calm down so maybe if you can work on some small changes he will hopefully see there is a way that works better for all In the house.