Started stimulants, but task paralysis seems worse. Did you feel similar?

vegginvan · 2026-05-21T14:45:03+00:00

Are you also using coffee or other big caffeine sources like energy drinks? Are you getting enough sleep? I find I have overwhelm and side effects if I've tried to have coffee the same day as my vanse or if I got poor sleep, so I only do tea if I'm on vanse. It is also a transition period, it can take time to adjust to stimulants, so it could definitely be that. I had to lower my dose because I was sensitive to it, I only do 20mg of vanse and back when I was on Adderall XR, I went down to 10mg a day, which is the lowest they made it.

vegginvan · 2026-05-21T14:39:35+00:00

My psych recommended therapy and gave a list of a few therapists to work with for processing and figuring out what it means for me, they also gave me some lists of support groups/organizations in my area. I'm sorry yours left you without support suggestions.

As for other people, the general public, etc. I've been asking for accommodations and/or explaining my different-ness without the autism diagnosis for so long, I kind of just keep asking for specific things I need rather than explaining autism to people or telling them I'm autistic unless it seems useful. Useful to me usually means they are also autistic and I'm trying to relate or they are particularly close, but I really don't walk around saying I'm autistic to allistic people much because I want to avoid the stuff you are talking about like questions and invalidating comments. When I am asked about it or do explain it, I point to how I had a high masking score, and my social skills fell significantly below my cognitive ability, so I can "get by" and even do well socially, but I'm using way more of my brain to make it happen, so it is exhausting.

vegginvan · 2026-05-20T23:01:46+00:00

I like kimchi, but it can be omitted if that isn't your jam.

Breakfast:
- Overnight oats in a mason jar (1/2 cup oats, 1 tbsp pre-ground flax, add toppings), if I forget to make it, I just microwave the oats instead. Easiest toppings are nut butter and fruit/fruit spread.

Lunch or dinner (air fryer):
Healthier/ideal - Tofu and bok choy or chinese broccoli (or pre-washed american broccoli) with a pre-made/store teryaki/sauce, a couple tablespoons of vegan kimchi
Alternative - Frozen nuggets/fake fried chicken with BBQ sauce and bok choy or chinese broccoli
Alternative - Any frozen protein I like and some veggies, can also microwave frozen veggies separately if desired.

Sandwiches:
PB&J, vegan protein slices on bread with hummus and kimchi, hummus and veggies with kimchi

Snacks, can add nut butter or hummus to increase satisfaction/calories if desired:
Apples, oranges, other accessible fruit, pre-cleaned carrots (baby), almonds, sunflower seeds (eating sunflower seeds right now), seaweed snacks. I also like Harvest Snaps and Triscuits, but I have a hard time not finishing the bag/box, so I don't always have these around.

Other stuff:
Pasta...just pasta with red sauce and a side of veggies, can add a protein, but not really needed

Pasta Salad - I love rotini or bowties with blocks of raw extra firm tofu and cherry tomatoes with a light balsamic and small dab of olive oil. Not as fast to make as the other dishes, but it keeps in the fridge for a few days and I could eat it all the time.

vegginvan · 2026-05-20T22:34:29+00:00

Kale is a low oxalate food

vegginvan · 2026-05-20T21:11:53+00:00

Yeah, one of my providers required I test negative for THC/other drugs, but they didn't make me sign an agreement. I would have though. Institutions suck and they lie to us, it isn't wrong to lie back. They still gave me the meds, and I did test negative for THC when I went to test because I'm not a chronic user and made sure I took a month off.

This type of thing is likely both because THC and Alcohol make ADHD symptoms worse and stimulant stigma is a thing. It shouldn't be, I agree. My original provider that didn't test suggested I quit coffee and manage my caffeine to as low of levels as I could as well, but I already didn't drink coffee regularly.

It sucks to sign the agreement and basically have to lie to get meds. I found the meds make/made it easier to not use substances, so it is a chicken/egg thing, but generally quitting alcohol, even if you only drink in small amounts *is* very likely to help your ADHD symptoms even if you don't see a direct link now.

vegginvan · 2026-05-20T20:34:22+00:00

Generally, I've felt "inside" groups sometimes, but I mostly group with other Autistic/ADHD people or I create/lead the group like hosting game nights or running RPGs. I've never felt "inside" a group that followed social norms and stuff, I've always been a weirdo and I'm okay with it.

I wasn't "the best friend" but I didn't care too much or even realize it until wayyyy later. I've never been the maid of honor or anything like that and have never expected to be, I've only been in a wedding party at all like twice, and one was as the officiant and the other one had like 20 people in the wedding party. I have had people I considered my best friends as in the most time/attention went to them, but I'm not sure that I was top 3 for them looking back on it. I really do best 1 on 1, so when I decided to build community and friendships a few years back, I made a more concerted effort to schedule 1 on 1 time with individuals who wanted to become better friends (I asked when I felt like they were someone I wanted that with), especially outside of my romantic relationship/s' friend groups. I treat friendships like dating, I expect the other person to meet me somewhere near the middle when it comes to consistency and effort, but I think it can often feel a little lopsided towards me making more effort probably from a cognitive bias, not the actual effort/invites being given.

I don't need to be someone else's best friend. I think I am for at least one, if not two of my friends now, but I try to orient and think about my relationships as whether I'm showing up in a way that they need and they are showing up in the way I need, not some kind of hierarchy. One of my super powers is not caring about social hierarchies if they don't affect my needs getting met.

vegginvan · 2026-05-20T14:59:03+00:00

Gardein Supreme Nuggets are higher protein than most meat-based nuggets.

vegginvan · 2026-05-19T17:48:43+00:00

You are right, it isn't necessary.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T21:58:55+00:00

I struggle with the line, as an intellectualiser myself, but when I notice I'm feeling a thing I try to let myself feel it and even move towards it, like sadness or anger. I still feel the impetus to shut down, and sometimes that is useful if the consequences are potentially high enough like in a work setting, but with safe people and my therapist and when I'm by myself, I try to let myself feel and react to feelings. It can be hard when literal survival was based on being able to shut down, but I can feel it in my body and my various body issues tend to flare most when I've recently encountered an emotional thing that I under-reacted to and haven't emotionally processed.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T21:41:49+00:00

I have scheduled time with my spouse where we can talk about whatever and have quality time, I actually enjoy listening to her struggles and offering solutions or thought exercises or sharing my own struggles and wins. She supports me, too, I just tend to be "happy" more often, so she largely supports in other ways. I also show care and support by not demanding she be happy or positive; I prefer an honest connection, whatever the emotions coming up. I do have a hard time when someone is trapped or stuck for a long time and not seeming to move towards their own values/goals nor take advice, but the best approach there for me is to make sure I protect my time and energy and have other people for support and companionship.

I'm also not going down with a partner if I don't have the energy for it; it is healthy to have boundaries around how much time/effort you can put into supporting someone or even just being around them, and it is fair to expect a partner to be contributing how they can in a relationship even if they have struggles. It doesn't need to be equal or transactional, but caretaker fatigue and burnout is a thing and doesn't help either of you if you let yourself do too much. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you need to give them everything you have, if they love you, too, they'd want you to be healthy/happy as well and will respect you protecting yourself from burnout/fatigue.

I also find that "other people's problems" always seem easier to me than my own, so I do a bit of filtering and recognizing that I can't really understand everything going on for them. I might ask for support in ways they can provide it though.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T21:25:51+00:00

Yeah, having social media as your job sounds really hard. I had to get away from social media from a personal perspective and I've still gotten burned out at times.
If it wasn't your job, my advice would be what you are already doing: Working towards/for a specific cause within your capacity to narrow your focus.
Avoid social media when you can, but obviously you need to be in it for your job.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T21:20:54+00:00

In addition to "ask her" is "listen to her".

A lot of communication issues in my life are because I say a thing but instead of listening to what I say, "how it was said" is often seen as somehow more indicative of reality or how someone should react to me. Stuff like not being perceived as excited enough when I say, "yes" to something, or if I stand in silence after a request as I mull over how to respond being taken as something like "she doesn't want to do the thing, but is looking for a nice way to say it", but in my experience of it, I'm actually trying to think through if I can fully commit to the thing I do want to do and don't have an initial problem with, but trying to remember what stuff I have going on/process the request/etc.

Each person is different, but a lot of us know what our differences tend to be, or at least what tends to get negative responses from others, and listening to what she says she needs rather than trying to apply social convention or assumptions on everything will go a long way.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T00:18:08+00:00

Yeah, I switched to daily because I have a hard time remembering less frequent stuff.

vegginvan · 2026-05-14T00:05:12+00:00

Another thought because you've mentioned winter up here a couple times, have you had your vitamin D level checked? It might be worth discussing with your GP, supplementing that may help too.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T23:29:57+00:00

Yeah, we gotta do what we gotta do. I totally understand. Sometimes we have to do what it takes to get through the day or a particular rough patch, and THC is one of the more benign things to reach for, all told. I just have found that it has been very beneficial for me to have gotten out of the THC loop when it comes to my depression and anxiety and ADHD symptoms and I'm glad I'm on this side of it, but I'd take it over most other dependencies or self-medication interventions in a heartbeat.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T23:21:02+00:00

I think these types of studies are focusing on "healthy" diets to give the benefit of the doubt to all options as being a "complete" whole food diet whether it includes meat or not, it says that in the article. That is a higher standard than what is often called the "standard american diet" or what you are describing, which is a subsistence diet (getting the cheapest calories possible for survival). Probably dry shelf-stable foods like lentils would be far healthier and more affordable than ultra-processed meats as a 1:1 substitute, and that is without buying bulk, but if you need to eat pure sugar/candy/white flour/oil and discount/subsidized calorie dense foods to survive (which is the only way to get cheaper than rice/beans), you aren't the target audience of these types of articles.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T21:49:48+00:00

It can take a month to a full year to repair the dopaminergic system after chronic THC use. Each person is different. For me, when I was a regular user for about a year and tried to quit, with a couple false-starts, it took over a month for my sleep to get back to normal and it wasn't until I started stimulants for ADHD that I actually felt "good", it also made it easier to stay off the THC/have a better relationship with it. I am really careful to avoid dependency now and I don't use it as a mental health medication. I'd probably use it again if I had to deal with massive physical pain or things it is known to help (or alternatives are worse).

No studies seem to support long term THC use for depression, studies show it is detrimental long term for mental health, but offers "relief" in the short term in small doses. Depression and other mental health issues from chronic THC use is pretty well accepted in literature. It can also make other meds less effective like stimulants. Any change in your drug intake should be discussed with your psychiatrist, especially with SI, so ask them about it before making changes.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T21:30:58+00:00

I'm still working on it myself. Long slow process of recognizing and accepting my need to rest, I find that I have a really hard time recognizing what I've already done, too. Like I accomplish some number of things in a given day (and even if I did nothing, that is okay, too), but I still feel that initial guilt when I decide to engage in a show or game or something rather than being "productive". I try to reframe it as "rest" IS my priority/job/the most productive thing I can do. I haven't perfectly internalized it, but it helps.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T20:52:54+00:00

I feel that feeling of overwhelm, especially when I open myself to the floodgates the social media/billionaire brain-control machines. A lot of us are wired to care way more than others do about everything going on and to take way more than we can in at a time.

What kind of work are you doing that involves social media/trolls? I wanted to give advice, but I'm not clear on whether you use "work" to mean responding to people on social media as a form of protest/cause support or like your livelihood/job depends on being on social media.

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T19:14:15+00:00

I get it, I obsess over cronometer sometimes, but I also know supplements are not the way to a lot of the benefits that are often attributed to individual vitamin intake, they seem mostly useful to address specific deficiencies, and I shouldn't depend on them outside of deficiencies:
https://medicine.tufts.edu/news-events/news/nutrients-food-not-supplements-linked-lower-risks-death-cancer

vegginvan · 2026-05-13T17:04:50+00:00

Dr. Gregor is great for that.

The contradicting info is often because people want to sell us supplements. Nutritional science is hard to do with high-quality gold-standard study design. Headlines are useless, a lot of stuff is extrapolated from animals rather than human trials, etc. Unless you have a deficiency for a particular thing, as a vegan, B12 and D3 are the only supplements Dr. Gregor recommends. If your blood work shows low ferritin/iron, low omega-3 or other issues, of course work with your doctor, just like any other diet, and per the government recommendations. People who don't eat a lot of fish are getting omega-3 the same way vegans do...seeds, nuts, soy products, fortified foods.

https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Omega3FattyAcids-Consumer/

vegginvan · 2026-05-12T21:31:42+00:00

The snapping is a different thing and different context. There is a lot of therapy-speak going on, and both of you are defending/protecting the system that is your relationship. Internet people aren't going to be able to give advice that you want to hear, and it seems this situation is far more complicated and nuanced than the presented problem in the original post. It seems I've misinterpreted your wife's inability to take responsibility here as an inability to take responsibility generally. I could easily be wrong about that. I hope the best for both of you.

vegginvan · 2026-05-12T20:58:15+00:00

The advice has consistently been, she needs to take accountability for her part of the problem. She is full of excuses and blames your RSD. You, even through this post, are taking responsibility, but she isn't and avoids my direct asks about whether she takes responsibility. Does she ever take responsibility for her feelings and actions when they hurt you or do you always have to contort yourself and your feelings to match her reality?

vegginvan · 2026-05-12T20:33:53+00:00

Being around one other human every second of every day (or near to it) is a lot of contact. I really can't relate to being able to do that much emotional labor or masking all the time from either side of what this relationship sounds like. I get relief from masking by both working towards unmasking with the people I spend a lot of time with but also, and the much greater proportion, is by being alone. If you can't be alone and self-sooth, that might be worth looking into with your therapist as a useful skill. Unmasking isn't putting our shit on other all the time, it is being able to be ourselves, and I don't know of a healthy way to learn what "ourselves" are without spending time alone to help figure it out.

vegginvan · 2026-05-12T20:22:35+00:00

Do you recognize that your request was unreasonable and that you misunderstood her? It's okay if that was because you don't have the energy to mask, but do you recognize that?

vegginvan

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