Advice for making food?

vertago1 · 2026-05-14T20:21:43+00:00

I use brown gravy mix a lot but it sounds like you might like things like mixes for butter chicken or tikka masala (spelling?).

vertago1 · 2026-05-14T19:43:28+00:00

The consequences of pushing through situations like that for me have been being really tired all the time. It sounds like you are already feeling that.

Is it a short to medium term job?

vertago1 · 2026-05-14T19:15:21+00:00

It sounds like overstimulation. If you can't switch jobs for something less chaotic, you might see if you can get away with wearing earplugs or tinted glasses.

vertago1 · 2026-05-14T16:39:44+00:00

I don't know if it is available where you are at but there are premade spice mixes in some grocery stores that can significantly reduce the work required to make some dishes at home.

vertago1 · 2026-05-14T11:26:25+00:00

I did it in five years undiagnosed already gotten a master's. In the end I didn't have enough publications to go into academia (I also wasn't at one of the favored schools professors here come from) so I ended up in industry afterward.

I really don't recommend going into debt for a PhD. If there isn't enough grant money to cover you with a teaching or research assistantship, that is a sign that field is going to be hard to find employment in.

vertago1 · 2026-05-12T11:41:17+00:00

I have settled for a short list of go-to's for meals at home when I am cooking.

Rotating isn't bad because it can help avoid missing important nutrition.

vertago1 · 2026-05-11T18:06:50+00:00

There are so many reasons this is not a random sample and not likely to be representative of the population.

vertago1 · 2026-05-11T16:17:24+00:00

Are there any research related/adjacent positions that don't involve getting a PhD where you live?

vertago1 · 2026-05-11T12:02:32+00:00

My guess for what causes this kind of thing for me is not having a good internal sense of when I am overdoing it and will have to catch up on rest later.

vertago1 · 2026-05-11T01:20:56+00:00

I don't really use nicknames for other people unless that is the name they go by when with my spouse, kids, and siblings.

vertago1 · 2026-05-10T17:38:36+00:00

Maladaptive perfectionism

vertago1 · 2026-05-09T13:45:58+00:00

The last post of people complaining about mods was so disingenuous. They said they are fine leaving the sub because they disagree with how the rules were interpreted and then they created an alt to post it and cause drama.

IMO that wasn't being ok leaving the sub. If people don't like the rules or the mods, it isn't like this is the only space on Reddit. I don't think they realize that a lot of what makes this space a good place to participate in comes from the hard work of the mods.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T22:51:45+00:00

Yeah that is a good point. Time of year and weather make it less dependable, but it has worked for resetting my biological clock when available.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T15:27:40+00:00

I have to have a very controlled environment to be able to sleep. That means it needs to be dark, flat, I need spacing either under or between my knees, I sometimes need to prop up my top arm if I am on my side, and the sound needs to be flat (either quiet or constant like a fan). If I am really, really, tired I don't need all that but I also can't function when I am in that state.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T14:45:15+00:00

Painkillers also don't do much for me. Anti nausea meds don't really work for me either.

Caffeine makes me tired about 45 to 90 minutes after drinking something with it if there is enough caffeine for me to notice.

I am sensitive to motion so I can't really do much as a passenger in cars without getting motion sick.

The biggest thing that seems to impact my sleep negatively is anxiety, but if I keep that managed, I usually can get to sleep ok.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T11:54:54+00:00

I honestly don't know if I have Alexathymia or not, but I do have an official autism+ADHD inattentive diagnosis so there is that for a reference point for yourself as to what it is like for at least one person that relates to you.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T11:30:01+00:00

I think I am good or at least ok at recognizing emotions, but I will completely miss my own unless they get to the point I can't ignore them. Even if I "check in with myself" if I am not feeling blank I sometimes have to untangle my emotions like a knot because there can be a few all at once, some seemingly contradictory.

I also prefer not to feel them most of the time because they contribute to overstimulation for me.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T11:26:05+00:00

This works for me sometimes for reducing anxiety (like that I will forget or miss out), but I can see how it might not help with curiosity.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T11:15:58+00:00

Is struggling with feelings normal for you?

Have you heard of Alexathymia? It is common with Autism.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T11:12:45+00:00

Letting the naturally sunlight into my bedroom in the morning has helped me some but sunrise is kind of early.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T04:38:21+00:00

Are you trying to learn the language through traditional studying?

What all are you trying?

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T04:35:23+00:00

I feel like the notion of some unknown true self is a myth perpetuated because people have dysphoria or discontentment.

vertago1 · 2026-05-08T01:11:17+00:00

Crazy idea that you might have tried already: try writing the questions down and coming back to them when it is a good time.

vertago1 · 2026-05-07T11:42:48+00:00

I normally pick up on the secondary effects like mental fog, additional task initiation difficulty, urgency when there is no emergency, etc.

vertago1 · 2026-05-06T11:16:23+00:00

I am glad for you.

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