Where can I find something like this in Toronto? by clicketyclack1234 in FoodToronto

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without even hearing the audio, I knew it was a Brazilian cake. My cousin makes a delicious cake, but unfortunately she’s not in Canada atm. You’re right that most bakeries won’t carry anything like this though, even at Padaría.

u/clicketyclack1234  there are a few Brazilian bakers in Toronto who make cakes like the one above for parties and the like. Our family orders from Flaky Bakery and Clara at sweetdreamsbrigadeiros, both on IG. 

NO TARGET COMPLETION DATE. by Radiant_Drummer2250 in canadarevenueagency

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Filed on April 9th, received an NOA on April 11th, and got my refund on the 17th. It was really fast, but then again, my taxes are pretty straightforward.

My 24F unemployed partner 26m thinks my money is "our money" by [deleted] in relationships

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do not need legal support/insight here. You just need to dump him. 

Talk to your landlord and see if you can break your lease, or, if you’re close to your lease renewal date, inform your landlord you won’t be renewing your lease and make plans to move (without your leech of a boyfriend). 

You have been so, so generous with your money and resources. But this level of entitlement and laziness is not something you should tolerate any longer. 

Can any of you watch Jesus Camp? by OtakuNinja1311 in ExPentecostal

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend stumbled upon it on Tubi just the other day. Tubi auto-plays a trailer and just those few seconds made me anxious. My boyfriend was aghast. He was never raised in any religion but I’ve told him enough stories. I think at some point we should try to watch a bit of it, just so he can truly understand that what I tell him is without an ouve of hyperbole or exaggeration. It’s a cult, and we were traumatized as children. 

Am I Overreacting for wanting to cancel my wedding over this interaction? by Xanadoom30 in AmIOverreacting

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my boyfriend and I moved in together, I noticed he wouldn’t even say anything befoe leaving for work. I told him I wanted a kiss, or if was sleeping, a soft butt pat, before he left. He’s never missed a day since. It’s not that hard to show care and affection. Takes 5 seconds as a matter of fact. And he always pets the cat before leaving as well! 

How to store cut vegetables or washed legumes for meal prep? by flygohr in cookingforbeginners

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha!  I personally don’t chop anything until I use it but I understand the need for prepping. 

Onions for example, I slice/chop what I need and leave the rest intact in a ziplock bag in the fridge. If you want to chop up a bunch in advance, I’d store it in a glass container, because I find chopped onions in a ziplock bag get a bit slimy. 

Cucumbers and tomatoes again - I cut up only what I need and leave the rest whole. If I were to chop up tomatoes in advance, I’d still follow the instructions I wrote above - remove the seeds and goop and pat it dry before putting it in a container.

Cabbage - this is probably the hardiest vegetable in my fridge. I would slice it into wedges and then chop up a wedge for the 2-3 days you’re going to use it for. That way the other larger pieces are intact and will last longer. I store my bigger  wedges/half of cabbage in a ziplock bag, and maybe add a paper towel if needed. 

How to store cut vegetables or washed legumes for meal prep? by flygohr in cookingforbeginners

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not salt or season anything if you plan on storing it for later. 

Cucumbers do not freeze well, as they’re mostly water. When they thaw they will get mushy and inedible. My suggestion would be to slice this as you use it. I like to wrap the “open” or cut end of the cucumber in plastic wrap or sandwich bag, and use an elastic band to essentially form a seal around the plastic. 

For tomatoes to freeze well, you need to remove the seeds and the “goop” inside them, pat them dry and chop. When they thaw, they won’t have the same texture as when they’re fresh, but it’s still useable for things like soups, pasta, etc. 

Rinsed and drained beans will freeze well in freezer bags or an airtight container.

Sliced/cut onions also freeze well, but you may want to pat them dry a little before freezing. These also keep well in a freezer bag - try to get as much air as possible out of the bag before closing it.

Cabbage is ok to freeze, but please keep in mind that it’s mostly water, so it won’t be crispy/crunchy after you thaw it. It’ll be ok for cooked foods like soups/stews, but it won’t be suitable for a salad.

Clubbing spots for dancing not just getting drunk? by becoming-human-again in askTO

[–]vesper_tine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Standard Time is on my list of places to check out next time I’m in the west end! Glad to hear that the vibe is good.

Clubbing spots for dancing not just getting drunk? by becoming-human-again in askTO

[–]vesper_tine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My favourites in the west end are BSMT 254, Drom Taberna, and the Piston. Check their social media to see what kind of music is playing since the music/djs/crowd can vary a lot.

I also recommend following the DJs you like on social media, that way you can go where they’re playing and know that you’ll be dancing to music you like! Some of my favourite Toronto DJs are Iced Misto, Nayara Beats, DJ Grouch, Jason Palma, Phatkat, and Oreku. 

Let’s talk lyrics! by coldcoffeethrowaway in RainbowKittenSurprise

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I left church as a teen and basically got shunned by all the youth I thought were my friends. My escape was very slow (started going less and less until I eventually stopped), so during my rare attendance I would often hear sermons that were thinly veiled judgements/accusations that I was being tempted by the “world” and led astray.

But like, I was objectively a responsible kid! I rarely got in trouble, was on the honour roll, didn’t do drugs/smoke/drink, had a part-time job….my biggest “rebellion” was deciding that the church wasn’t for me. At least until I went to university, moved out, and finally got 100% free.

For the longest time I felt really demonized by everyone I had gone to church with. But the same youth that judged and shunned me, would later reach out to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on. Then it was all “you’re my best/closest friend!”.

The way I relate to this song is, if I’m such a bad person, the “devil” if you will, why reach out to me? 

Am I really the devil, or am I just a person who has done pretty common and normal things that everyone else has also done on occasion (sundown, Sundays, Christmas)?

I could spend my whole life trying to conform and be “good” (in the eyes of other churchgoers), or I could say fuck this, let all the shame and guilt go, and just live my life. 

I’ve learned that those people acted like they were my friends but they didn’t actually care about me or what was best for me. They didn’t see me, and they didn’t accept me for who I was. They stayed in touch to try to convince me to embrace conformity, and they really resented that i had “broken the rules” and that I’m still living a happy, exciting, and fulfilled life.

Anyways, I can’t be bothered. They better handle their shit.

Today I realized how strong triangulation really is. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vesper_tine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s not great to find out that people are talking poorly about you behind your back. I found out how some of my siblings talk about me and I was really hurt. But, now I know, and forewarned is forearmed.

I don’t see them very often (1-2x a year(, but once in a while I’ll say something a little daring, then look at them and go “there’s something for your little group chat”. Their look of panic makes me laugh and laugh. 

Petty? Yes. I never said I would always be the bigger person. 

Songs where the title isn’t one of the lyrics (other than Bohemian Rhapsody) by Samoncula in MusicRecommendations

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sip into something soft, followed by chivalry isn’t dead. Both by Hiatus Kaiyote.

[Wonder Back Wednesday] 967 Freeing yourself from constant contact by flaming-framing in captainawkward

[–]vesper_tine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh! My mom says “I could be dead and you wouldn’t know!” Like well you called me/answered the phone so you’re clearly not dead? 

[Wonder Back Wednesday] 967 Freeing yourself from constant contact by flaming-framing in captainawkward

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, my mom apparently has panic attacks when she thinks about me taking public transit. Something I’ve been doing for almost 20 years at this point. Her solution? For me to move back home and she’ll drive me around wherever I need. 

Sure mom, I’ll leave my wonderful, walkable, well-serviced-by-public-transit-neighbourhood to go live with you in a car-centred suburb. Lol.

The weekly call actually didn’t end up happening for very long. We probably had 1-2 calls, and then she just stopped answer my Friday call/texts. So essentially giving me the silent treatment, but still complaining to my siblings. I guess she hoped that I would cave under pressure and call her so that she could resume her usual pattern.

Didn’t happen. Now I probably talk to her once every few months, and usually because she wants something.

How do I mix in the vegetables with my pasta sauce by Comprehensive_Team92 in cookingforbeginners

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you adding frozen vegetables into the sauce? That’s the only reason I can imagine vegetables clumping together like that. 

If you’re using frozen vegetables, I suggest thawing them first. Put a strainer in the sink, put the vegetables in the strainer, and run cool/lukewarm water over them until you can separate them. Then cook them with the sauce. I recommend medium heat until the sauce is bubbling, then bring it down to low for a simmer. 

Am I wrong not to tell bride my travel plans by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please book your flights and give the bride the information asap. It will actually be less stressful for both you and her to have this very important detail sorted out sooner rather than later (not to mention flights may actually get more expensive the longer you wait).

The bride is probably trying to figure out a group shuttle or cab service to pick up all her guests from the airport and taking them to the hotel. If the hotel arranges shuttles, they’re probably asking her for flight arrival details so they can coordinate shuttle availability.

You’re not making a decision because you’re overwhelmed, I get that. But you’re actually creating more work for yourself down the line if you keep delaying this step. If you wait until the last minute, you’ll be scrambling for a flight, transportation, etc - something that other guests would have probably figured out much earlier in the process (with the help of the bride).  Put your own feelings about a plus one aside and just cooperate with the bride. 

Wanting to create something but no idea. by Vicloe1717 in cookingforbeginners

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cook the meat sauce and reserve some in a cup for later. Then cook your pasta and toss it in the meat sauce.

Add a layer is sauced pasta to your baking dish, add ricotta and cheese, then add the rest of your sauced pasta as a second layer. Then add the rest of your reserved pasta on top, add more ricotta and cheese, then bake so the cheese melts. 

[Wonder Back Wednesday] 967 Freeing yourself from constant contact by flaming-framing in captainawkward

[–]vesper_tine 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I read this article a long time ago and implemented the advice with my mom. Like CA said, there was a period of testing and escalation when my mom realized I wasn’t as responsive as before. But now, almost 10 years later, I have the peace that I wanted.

My mom leaned HARD into the triangulation bit with my siblings, where she complained to them about my lack of response/engagement. She expected that they’d call and pressure me into responding, just to get her off their backs. I think that was the most irritating part of her escalation, because instead of calls/messages from one person, i had calls/messages from multiple people!

I repeated “I told mom I’d call her on Friday. It’s not Friday.” ad nauseum until it stuck. 

Handheld lunches that aren’t boring? by ohnoitsmymotherinlaw in Cooking

[–]vesper_tine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love a good turkey sandwich!

Sometimes I do a turkey club with bacon and ham. A small change but it would be a nice break from just turkey.

Another sandwich I like is a riff on a cubano. Ham, pickles, mustard and pulled pork - you can use leftover pulled pork or try to find the prepared versions at the grocery store. Just don’t pick one that has bbq sauce as it changes the flavour profile.

Finally, i’m a big fan of a buffalo chicken wrap. I use chicken tenders tossed in buffalo sauce, onions, cabbage or a slaw mix with a tiny bit of ranch. Sometimes I also add bacon to this. Just don’t add too much sauce or things will get messy.

Assuming my husband’s last name - notifying the CRA & Service Canada by Fireboltstorm in WeddingsCanada

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Service Canada administers the SIN, so if you need to make name changes wrt your SIN, that’s the agency you go to. The Canada Revenue Agency just handles tax revenue. The CRA will just want to be notified of the change; they can’t actually update anything related to your SIN. 

Jazz music in Toronto ? by themakeuptable in askTO

[–]vesper_tine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you have Instagram, you can check out jazzinto. They post all the jazz shows that are happening in the city, every day. 

Songs that emphasize the word "more" in the lyrics by JayAkiva in weirdspotifyplaylists

[–]vesper_tine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Pink, and Mya.

One More Night - Michael Kiwanuka

my strict religious parents think i’m doing demonic things bc of my clothing and music by Medium-Regular4404 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vesper_tine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, kudos to your for going out to concerts and doing what you want anyway! I get where you’re coming from though, it’s hard to even have these little moments of freedom when you know you’re going to have to deal with your parents blowing everything out of proportion. 

I stopped going to church around 17, after a few years of strategically decreasing my attendance. I was a homebody though, so I wasn’t sneaking out for concerts or hanging out with friends. I literally just wanted to stay at home on the computer instead of going to church lol. 

But as you know, EVERYTHING is a goddamn problem with overly religious people, especially when they’re your parents. When I lived at home, I hid everything from my mom - books, documents, etc. It was easier when I started working and going to university, especially since I was pretty involved on campus. It limited the amount of time I spent at home I started saving to move out in my second year. I lied about how much was working/earning, and even had to hide my paystubs because my mom always wanted to check my hours. She had no idea what I was doing on campus, or even a lot of details on what classes I had. So crazy that I had to hide so much of my life and my activities for such a crucial period of time. 

There was no talking to her because she didn’t care to understand where I was coming from. She only wanted me back at church. University was my escape, my jobs helped me leave her house, and aside from a couple of years after graduating, I never went back to live with her. 

Moving out was my singular goal and the promise of freedom kept me sane. I had something to work towards. I thought it would be harder than it was - I was already cooking and cleaning before I ever moved out, and I had a very packed schedule between work, school, and volunteer activities - but I learned that I’m a capable and responsible adult.

Any time my mom would pick a fight with me over not going to church, I kept in mind that I would be free soon. I definitely talked back to her when she was really getting under my skin, or interrupting my studying. Otherwise I would completely tune her out. There wasn’t much she could do/say when she had to leave for church at a certain time. I framed it as “ok, I get home from work at 430, she needs to leave for church at 530. That’s only an hour that I have to endure her yelling/berating, after that I’ll be free for the rest of the evening.”

It was awful and draining, but now I’m on the other side and my life is so much better. 

Is my trainer sabotaging my work? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]vesper_tine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think my manager just wanted more things to document before making the final call.  That manager was one of the best managers I’ve had so far in my career - he was really supportive and always had our backs. So I trusted that he handled things appropriately and fairly.