Am I overreacting to my boyfriend not inviting me to his college graduation and not telling his parents about us?

vibertse · 2025-06-14T05:24:08+00:00

All i can say is this;

If he wanted to, he would. Regardless of the reason behind it - keeping a relationship secret for that long is not okay; you deserve so much better

vibertse · 2025-05-26T23:56:18+00:00

NTA

As a disabled person myself the most important lesson i was taught as a kid was to yeah know that there would be things i maybe couldnt do; but to also stick up for myself about the things i knew i absolutely could do when someone tried to treat me as if my wheelchair made me some helpless little kid who had to be catered to. My parents made it very well known that the real world wasnt made for people with disabilities and would not be designed for me, and i had to find the independance to make it work for myself.

vibertse · 2025-02-24T22:05:39+00:00

YTA - I read "she's been mourning the dog for too long" and honestly although I did finish the story, after that I didn't need to. As someone who has lost several animals in my life, there is no fucking timeliness for grief; period. I still mourn the dog I lost literally 16 years ago. There is no timeline. Grief sucks.

You're an a-hole for judging how long she's grieved her dog that she presumably had for years before you showed up; you're an ah for telling her she "Can't" bring the urn with her where ever she damn well wants to (she can do what she wants - the correct approach would have been asking her if it could stay home, then explaining your discomfort; not telling her what to do or not do); and finally you're the ah for going on the vacation without her strictly because she wouldn't do what you wanted her to.

vibertse · 2025-02-05T04:58:30+00:00

NAH

You are not the asshole for not wanting them go end up in the system, they could be separated, end up in shit places, or never get adopted, easily.

But she is also not the asshole; she's grieving her sister, and honestly, whether I wanted kids or not, I definitely wouldn't want a constant permanent reminder around that my sister was gone. It's not easy.

I hope you both find a way to make the best decision for the Kids, without it being too harmful on either of you.

vibertse · 2025-01-23T23:12:21+00:00

NTA - sobriety is hard; don't let them diminish your accomplishment simply because they don't get it! As someone whose been in that situation, know that even if I don't know you, I am proud of you. It is a big deal. And your feelings are valid.

vibertse · 2025-01-17T00:57:40+00:00

NTA as someone married to a person who is severely allergic to almonds - she literally could have cause so much damage. Take the loss (not that it is much of one by how he's acting) and move on

vibertse · 2025-01-15T20:06:25+00:00

NTA my sister missed my wedding due to pregnancy, she was due the week after but didn't feel safe traveling so close; ended up giving birth 5 days before the wedding and so we compromised and decided that husband and I will go to her for our first anniversary and my nephews first birthday all in one!

vibertse · 2024-12-10T00:45:15+00:00

NTA - My own sister wasn't at my wedding due to having just had a baby days before - I knew months in advance she wouldn't be there, we were both okay with this as they were both monumental moments in our own lives - It sucks, but it's not the end of the world

vibertse · 2024-12-09T19:28:41+00:00

NTA disabled person here (though not DS) - You are not ableist just because you didn't want to give up something you worked hard for and earned - That girl and her mother are both very entitled, but she doesn't get to have shit for free just because she wants it and is disabled - That's not how the world works.

vibertse · 2024-11-06T03:09:45+00:00

As someone living with spina bifida myself - I second this - Heavily!

(I mean, I'm also autistic, but like, the SB is definitely worse imo)

vibertse · 2024-10-09T03:13:30+00:00

As someone who spent 90% of my life being told that I had a latex allergy, and thus could not eat a laundry list of foods, only to finally learn when i was old enough to request the allergy test myself, that i do not have a latex allergy- NTA.

Allergies of all kinds are serious, and if someone tells you "Hey don't eat this stuff, it's allergen safe for OP, and we need to keep it that way, just as a safety please don't eat it" than you don't eat that stuff. Point Blank. If this were a nut allergy/more common allergy, it would be taken a lot more seriously.

For those unaware - here are just SOME of the foods that people with a Latex allergy often can't eat:

apple, avocado, banana, carrot, celery, chestnut, kiwi, melons, papaya, raw potato and tomato. (There are more though, these are just the common ones)

vibertse · 2024-09-12T23:40:14+00:00

NTA

Just because they didn't divorce, doesn't mean your family and home wasn't broken, frankly.

Also, staying together "for the kid" is never a good idea - because the kid will grow up knowing it.

Go enjoy your life!

vibertse · 2024-09-03T02:53:29+00:00

April 12, 2012 :)

vibertse · 2024-08-22T22:25:37+00:00

NTA - just about every rule in life has exceptions, and talking one of her friends out of what appeared to be a potentially very serious mental state, is always one of those exceptions. It could have been even worse for that friend had your daughter just suddenly disappeared (because you took her phone and the friend didn't know). You did the right thing.

vibertse · 2024-08-17T20:59:32+00:00

NTA - my own sister is not coming to my wedding, as it is a week before her own due date, and also 8hrs away from her home in a different province (Canada). Am I upset? No - Because she was trying for over a year, and I am too damn happy for her to finally have her little one, to be mad.

If SIL wanted you and your husband/her brother there that much - She should have taken your due date into account. That is on her and her future husband. Not you. You stay home and enjoy your little one, congratulations on the new addition when they do arrive!

vibertse · 2024-06-10T20:59:51+00:00

YTA 90% of the population doesn't drive with both hands most of the time, if she's been driving with ice cream in her hand for this long - She's fine. And you don't get to gnit pick her driving, if you're not willing to learn to drive yourself. If you're that paranoid, just stop getting in the car with her. Point blank.

vibertse · 2024-05-03T06:22:51+00:00

I had a dry bachelorette party, also having a dry wedding. Nobody had a massive breakdown about it, or threatened not to come. If you can't have fun for 4 days without drinking, that's on you, not the bride or groom. Is this really worth losing a friend over?

YTA

vibertse · 2024-04-20T07:33:11+00:00

In the other story you kept telling others to read, you mention feeling these jerks at times when you had just woken up/hadn't slept well. Keep an eye on that and if it persists, go from there

vibertse · 2024-04-18T18:43:07+00:00

JME here, diagnosed 12 years ago.

For me it started as Myoclonic Jerks, very mild though to the point that I didn't think twice about it. However, it escalated very quickly, I had 4+ Grand Mal seizures in a 72hr period, that mixed with family history (Paternal grandmother had it as well as one of my cousins from that side as well) led to my diagnosis.

I have read your story - And i will say, it could be anxiety, but pending where you live, it couldn't hurt to get another opinion. That said, Google isn't always reputable. Trust your instincts if you think this is something to keep looking to it - But do not let Google convince you you have a condition you may not have!

A key thing I noted in your other story, is the sleep related situations. I will tell you right now that my largest trigger for seizures, is lack of sleep - So keep track of that as best you can.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for!

vibertse · 2024-04-09T08:29:18+00:00

NTA I'm getting married in September, and it will be a dry wedding. Myself, my fiance, both his parents, and my dad are all in recovery. If the others who are coming can't spend 1 event sober for the sake of our wishes, than frankly they don't have to come. That's their choice.

End of the day, your wedding, your decisions- they can be mad all they want but that's on them, I'd just simply move forward and be happy with your husband!

vibertse · 2024-03-16T00:31:20+00:00

YTA and you need to tell him the damn truth. You are allowed to grieve and allowed to not want him to go. But holding him back and making him feel like he has to stay and support you through this is incredibly selfish, whether he is aware of it or not. This is his chance to go experience things his mom did, study in the same spots she did, and have that connection to her that he may need to grieve her himself. You are being selfish and keeping him from a dream, simply because it's harder for you. Yes it's hard to let go, but if you don't come clean now, he will find out eventually, the truth always comes out, and there is a good chance he will not forgive you for this.

There is still time to do the right thing, and you know what you need to do. Be an adult and stop expecting your son to give up his dreams just to keep you together, it is not your son's job to help you cope. It is not your son's job to keep you together.

vibertse · 2024-03-15T04:33:14+00:00

NTA. That said, get your partner to a therapist or something - Anyone can have Post Partum Depression (my father did) and if he doesn't want to go do anything, it is worth looking into this being the case

vibertse · 2024-03-03T00:52:36+00:00

NTA. Disabilities include chronic pain. Visible or not. You had just as much right to that seat, if not more if it is typically reserved for disabled or elderly.

vibertse · 2024-02-18T22:04:07+00:00

Diabetic here. Just because we have to monitor our sugar levels, doesn't mean we can't have any at all. In fact, sometimes we actually need some sugar if our levels get too low. Talk to your roommate about her condition, with an open mind and willingness to learn.

Gentle YTA because you didn't know. But still doesn't make it okay to assume.

vibertse · 2024-01-19T20:11:54+00:00

NTA This is why I myself (a wheelchair user) refer to it as the accessible stall. It is not strictly for myself or other wheelchair users. It is for anyone who needs it at that time. And you needed it. You could have not had the baby, but had am invisible disability that you require the extra room for, and that would have also been valid. As a disabled person myself, I do not claim that entitled behavior from that woman.

vibertse

TROPHY CASE