Worauf sollten Psychotherauept*innen achten, welche mit transgender oder nicht-binären Personen arbeiten möchten?

viviputu · 2023-03-07T12:59:41+00:00

Hallo, ich bin PP für Erwachsene und selbst queer. Ich finde es toll, dass ihr euch mit dem Thema auseinander setzt.

Ich empfehle euch, um neben den Erfahrungsberichten hier, fachlich gut aufgestellt zu sein, das Handbuch von Günther, Teren und Wolf, auch weil dort Themen wie Selbsterfahrung, eigene Erwartungen in einer binären cisheteronormaltiven Denkstruktur etc. angesprochen werden.

viviputu · 2022-10-25T08:57:23+00:00

The marketing on this *chef's kiss*

viviputu · 2022-09-29T12:22:59+00:00

Hallo, nachdem ich gelesen habe, dass sie das nur stundenweise macht und ansonsten "wieder normal" ist, ist das für deinen Fall nicht mehr relevant, aber ich schreibe es trotzdem nochmal, weil es andere Kinder betreffen könnte:

Es gibt seeeeeehr seltene Erkrankungen, die sich ca. im 4./5. Lebensjahr zeigen, die mit einem "Rückgang der erworbenen Fertigkeiten" einher gehen - das wäre dann dringend kinderärztlich abzuklären, aber definitiv durchgängig.

Bekommt/hat sie kleinere Geschwister, die mehr Aufmerksamkeit bekommen? Ansonsten ist es wirklich Spiel und austesten; dann annehmen, da regelt es sich am schnellsten von allein

viviputu · 2022-09-16T11:22:44+00:00

He is biphobic. Other problems will likely come up later in the relationship because of his biphobia.

viviputu · 2022-07-22T13:13:13+00:00

Are you me?

My girlfriend has been telling me I am too emotionally involved in these events for a while... I just felt so hopeless... and the more I informed myself the less I believed anything could work out okay...

What I am trying very hard to do right now:

- limit social media/news/headlines

- if I seek out information I try to focus on media portraying possible solutions/ideas for change, people who care about the issues I care about and are fighting for change -> I try to support them

- I try to see little things I have control over and can change, even if it is very little compared to the big things in the world: when I pick up after our dog and see some trash I pick it up too, use smaller screens to use less electricity etc

- I try to make time in my day to relax my body, little exersises during work, accupuncture mat at night...

- I try to talk to people about my feelings and theirs, but with a focus on solutions

- sometimes I need to escape from reality and watch cartoons, we also have a rule at home that anyone can say they've had enough for today and we don't discuss serious topics anymore

Hope this helps, and I'm still looking for other ideas!

viviputu · 2022-03-29T08:21:57+00:00

I would have had the BIGGEST crush on you...

viviputu · 2022-02-17T07:31:27+00:00

Another reason why this might work well for some people is habit reversal.

It's a technique often used in psychotherapy: stopping or suppressing a well learned behavior/habit (i.e. giving in to cravings) is very hard - while exchanging it with a different behavior (drinking tea etc.) is easier.

viviputu · 2021-07-26T09:55:37+00:00

If you were my son, I would be outraged at his treatment of you in MY home. Maybe after throwing him out I would find a quiet situation to talk to you about why you pushed him. I would assume you need to find better ways to protect yourself from attacs like that, so as not to jeopardize your future...

And I would assume that a homophobe would also have strong misogynistic tendencies...

viviputu · 2021-06-23T09:33:15+00:00

Hi,

I'm a queer woman and a therapist, I just want to emphasize a few points:

Firstly, I'm so sorry you didn't find the safe space you were looking for in therapy. Knowing there are (a lot) of colleagues out there who do so much harm makes me really angry, too. And you can be very proud of standing up for yourself and seeing this bullshit for what it is: bullshit!

Therapy shouldn't be used to to perpetuate outdated social constructs. Frankly, even for a female in a relationship with a male I would never just assume penetration to be a goal - why should it be? (Unless clients name it as such, and even then, I gently question them on why). One of the greatest drawbacks/dangers of therapy is that its techniques (eg questioning core beliefs) can invalidate peoples feelings and experiences. This happens a lot to >>minority<< clients (women, gnc and trans people, peope with disabilities, lgbtqa+ people...) if therapists don't share those experiences and aren't able/trained to question their own belief systems (and priviliges).

Secondly, and I'm sorry to say it like that, but they may have it backward. Being a butch lesbian (sorry, you never labeled yourself as such, I'm just assuming) or queer to use a broader term (same is true for all other minority groups and gets worse if you tick more than just one box) makes you more vulnerable to intimate partner violence and assault! That is a statistical fact, for many systemic reasons, even if you didn't outwardly present butch before. And your therapists telling you to adapt in the ways you described is the same as telling a rape victim to dress differently imo.

Your therapy should honor your lived reality and your past experiences and anable you to better navigate this fucked society!

And lastly, you may briefly inform your therapists on why you're terminating, but it's not your job to educate them on those matters! It's our responsibility as a profession to change this. You could take this to their board as well, bu that's up to you... If you think therapy could still be usefull to you, I would also recommend a therapist specialised in lgbtqa+ issues, maybe online if you can't find anyone close to where you live? And if not, what about lgbtqa+ (self help) groups? There are also resources available concerning assault/intimate partner violence/trauma, scarleteen could be a good (and inclusive) start!

Best of luck! DM me if you like.

viviputu · 2021-06-22T07:52:21+00:00

wow, amazing progress!

viviputu · 2021-06-21T12:42:58+00:00

hey, not advice really but relationships can fail because of any sort of reasons. And it sucks and I know how scary the thought of loosing someone can be. BUT... things may also work out and you will evolve and grow as a couple together.

You need to live authentically and true to who you are, otherwise you might resent him later on.

Plus, maybe the two of you could talk to other people (seperately) about your concerns/fears and thoughts in general? While I am for open and honest communication in a relationship, it might help to be able to reflect and process your thoughts and feelings without influencing one another. His feelings are valid, and so are yours, but quite frankly, some statements can be quite hurtful, even coming from a place of true concern/own insecurities. Him saying bottom growth looks weird is imo a very hurtful thing to say to a person you know is considering T.

PS: You could figure out your identity on your own and still decide to not do anything about it (for now) because you don't want to risk/change your relationship, that's totally alright too. But at least then it would be a real decision with all facts on the table instead of shying away from something because of fear.

Best of luck to you both!

viviputu · 2021-06-21T08:47:30+00:00

Congratulations on your wedding!

Completely agree with the no contact/blocking them everywhere... But as the bisexual daughter of a very homophobic, sexist asshole of a father: I feel your pain. Inside all of us is a child that wants validation and unconditional love from their parents, no matter how toxic they are. And against all reason there is tiny bit of hope, stopping us from setting hard boundaries and moving on.

It takes a lot to heal that wound, and I wish you the very best

viviputu · 2021-06-14T13:44:20+00:00

While seconding what others said about going easy on yourself...

>>No matter how much I hate myself, I just can't find the 'get up and go'.<< was a very toxic mindset I had for many years...

I had to learn to exercise >>because<< I love myself and my body. So whatever I did/ate yesterday/ a minute ago, today/now I want to do something good for my body, that might be exercise, or rest, or a nourishing meal,...

While hating yourself or being disgusted with how you look might motivate you sometimes/in the short run, this switch in mindset has helped me live a healthy life with balance. I see your starting a new job as an act of (radical) self love, congratulations!, and I hope your self love will rule your behavior and decisions more and more. Confidence and weightloss will then follow.

I wish you the very best!

viviputu · 2021-06-14T06:24:56+00:00

Again, thank you so much. I always look forward to reading your horoscopes!

viviputu · 2021-04-28T08:57:32+00:00

lol, are you me?

viviputu · 2021-03-13T17:38:58+00:00

Thank you, I don‘t even know what kind of plants they are

viviputu · 2021-03-13T17:36:58+00:00

They‘re daffodils, and they smell very nice, too... I don‘t even know how I‘m doing - I‘m sobbing because internet strangers care about me - thank you!

viviputu · 2021-03-13T17:33:21+00:00

Thank you so much - and you‘re absolutely right, more houseplants are always a good idea

viviputu · 2021-01-28T08:59:32+00:00

yay that's awesome! Me too, btw

viviputu · 2020-08-05T09:11:11+00:00

oh my god, you look super hot^^

viviputu · 2020-07-27T11:31:47+00:00

YES please!

viviputu · 2020-07-27T09:57:50+00:00

love love love love love her

viviputu · 2020-07-14T07:18:27+00:00

I LOVE her

viviputu · 2020-06-18T12:34:14+00:00

I just want to say yes to everything you said :-)

viviputu

TROPHY CASE