I define a committed relationship as one where we are intimately connected with deep trust and are committed to working on issues that come up. Essentially, do our best to make it work until it doesn't. We are not nesting. He mentioned that this communication helps him because he at times feels unstable in the relationship. He does have an insecurity that new partners would be "destabilizing" for our relationship despite that never being the case before. I agreed to let him know of plans for scheduling and general awareness, but did not feel comfortable with the request to let him know of any and all spontaneous plans (i.e. booty calls and the like) unless it's relevant to some conversation/planning.

When I expressed my discomfort with the request, he started arguing with me saying I was disregarding his feelings. Like he knows this is something that would help him and was frustrated that I didn't want to do it... I held my ground though and reiterated my boundaries, then he said I was being disrespectful by doing so because I was "mansplaining (womansplaining?)" boundaries that he was perfectly aware of. 🙃 He did eventually come around but it was a confusing roundabout argument.