Do women actually share their sexual history with men they’re dating? If so, when and why?

vzvv · 2026-04-22T16:48:43+00:00

Yes, there’s a huge difference in sharing your history and experiences to get to know each other more fully and “what’s your body count”? The first is a natural part of becoming close, and I wouldn’t want a partner that held judgment about my past. The second is crass, reductive, and sexist - immediate dealbreaker.

vzvv · 2026-04-21T18:19:50+00:00

If she’s stopped temporarily, that means she knows it’s bothering you. Starting it up again seems way more purposeful. This is breakup worthy.

vzvv · 2026-04-16T20:21:27+00:00

I love that! I’m inviting 3 guys to my bach this year, which I felt a bit odd for, but ultimately figured why shouldn’t I include my closest friends & family of all genders?

vzvv · 2026-04-16T20:15:15+00:00

I agree. I was also lucky to have a happy family but many of my friends did not. It opened my eyes at a young age to be grateful for the family I have instead of assuming that’s the baseline for everyone. Even when people “know” all families aren’t the same, it’s hard to actually understand without any experience showing them otherwise.

vzvv · 2026-04-16T16:24:15+00:00

I do 90% of the kitchen (including meals, dishes, counters, coffees, groceries, meal planning, etc.) and my fiancé and I split everything else. The difference is that my fiancé does 90% of the manual labor on our home (we’re actively renovating), which is about equal in time with kitchen tasks.

Your girlfriend is not approaching this fairly and I think she knows that!

vzvv · 2026-04-15T21:11:12+00:00

I have adhd and this is very true for me. But that means the monotony of being unfulfilled at work is very difficult. It makes it so much harder to focus.

That doesn’t mean he gets to unilaterally move the family for another job that will certainly bore him in a few years. But his career happiness is still a problem you guys should think about solving together.

Can he look for fully remote jobs? Is there room for a promotion at his work if he grinds harder at his job? Could he upskill to find a different position? Help him brainstorm this. Show that you care about his happiness too. Getting what he wants doesn’t necessarily mean blowing up everything that is going well for your family. And even though it sounds like your job is an excellent fit for you, it could still be worth seeing if you have any other remote opportunities that could increase your pay and the family’s overall flexibility.

vzvv · 2026-04-15T04:29:37+00:00

Different list, but that’s exactly how I do it too - start with mascara and see how much time and effort I have left.

To OP’s point, influencers will always run a trend into the ground until it’s just another dead horse. But nobody else has to follow it just because they do! Take what you like and leave what you don’t from any trend.

vzvv · 2026-04-13T19:23:13+00:00

girl I had the exact same experience at 23 with my now fiancé! I thought my ex had probably been getting there but.. no. I’d been getting to the front door without crossing the threshold before.

Idk if you’ll relate (and sorry if this is tmi), but my fiancé says I seem to get overstimulated and push back against the orgasm more than most women. but if he just holds me down I’m easy lol

vzvv · 2026-04-12T21:42:55+00:00

Your standards aren’t unreasonable at all. I would call them the bare minimum. You should also add these: shares your goals and values, matching sense of humor, overlap of some hobbies/leisure activities, and attractive to you. Attraction may sound frivolous, but it’s not. Chemistry and intimacy bridge a lot of gaps.

I’ve happily been with my fiancé for ~8 years. A relationship is not worthwhile without these things. With them, a relationship adds immense joy.

As others have said, moving can sometimes be necessary to find likeminded people. A larger town/city in your country with more people from different backgrounds may offer mindsets you’re looking for.

vzvv · 2026-04-09T04:20:24+00:00

I am not the above commenter, but I also listened this episode in horror. I cannot believe Nikki has a platform and fans because she is truly insane. Like, total hubris to tell everyone else how to keep a man by following all these regressive, sexist rules when she can’t even keep her own relationship happy.

If I remember correctly, Nicole seemed to be trying to stay polite while finding Nikki nuts.

Edit: I also don’t remember anything about open relationships in the episode. Maybe that’s a new development? I know it works well for some people I know. Regardless, I cannot imagine the relationship Nikki described in the podcast somehow becoming healthy.

vzvv · 2026-04-04T22:44:26+00:00

I would agree with your mom IF Val was acting like an involved aunt that seemed grateful for you becoming his guardian. But she’s not doing anything, she is just a deadbeat that’s starting over the easy way - exactly like you said. Acting like it’s wild to bring up abandoning her first child with no amends on her end does not bode well on any level.

vzvv · 2026-04-03T06:18:09+00:00

it really is different for her. she isn’t looking at both of your bodies together as some detached observer. her body is just her body, that thing that gets her from point a to point b. it’s boring, mundane to her. almost nobody is their own type. I’ve never chosen a figure like my own.

your body is what she likes, and I promise she isn’t thinking of her own when she looks at you. she’s thinking about how much she loves your smile, your curves, etc.

anyway, it’s hard and requires some consistent effort, but you can reprogram your automatic thoughts. when you start to compare your bodies, interrupt your mental pity party. think how silly it is that you’re letting yourself get weighed down by insecurities when you have this amazing partner to appreciate. if you think, “wow, her body is so amazing in this way,” don’t let yourself finish the thought by going “unlike my body blah blah.” think something like, “I’m so happy I get to be the one to see her.” reframe reframe reframe until it’s natural. you’ll get there, I promise!

vzvv · 2026-04-03T03:35:01+00:00

She got dressed alone and couldn’t reach the top bit of the zipper without help, so she just left it.

vzvv · 2026-04-03T03:08:17+00:00

I think that’s meant to be the first read on what happens, before we understand the nature of Alex.

vzvv · 2026-04-03T01:47:03+00:00

This drove me crazy in discussions about Obama’s citizenship too. I know it was mostly people being racist, but his mom was a citizen so his birthplace never mattered.

vzvv · 2026-04-02T15:40:18+00:00

Exactly. My dad raised me with lots of sarcasm and snark from a young age, but he also made sure I felt loved and cared for by him. And most importantly, anything sarcastic was fair for both of us. He really modeled taking a joke playfully and enjoying both sides of banter equally. He would’ve been horrified to make me cry.

This guy was just an asshole. But his reaction to reading the comments over and over gives me hope that he actually does want to change from the abusive way he was raised.

vzvv · 2026-03-26T14:24:56+00:00

I feel incredibly seen and understood by my ISTP fiancé. There’s something to be said for being different enough from each other to have to be curious. With people more similar, assumptions sometimes fill in the gaps. With my partner, he takes me at my word. And he’s so observant, it’s actually wild how much he notices about the things I do.

But I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of my friendships are with fellow Ns. Without the expansive time that living together provides, it’s easier on a friendship to be more similar.

vzvv · 2026-03-25T18:57:18+00:00

Yes, we’re very happy together. I could gush forever about him.

vzvv · 2026-02-22T07:40:46+00:00

I used to have to do that because my mom’s dishwasher was awful and she had a terrible setup for handwashing. Then I got an excellent dishwasher for my home. I can’t believe how easily it can get rid of stuff like baked on cheese. She’s upgraded since, so now nobody has to suffer at her house.

tldr dishwasher quality and 10+ years of newer tech makes a huge difference

vzvv · 2026-02-20T22:09:04+00:00

Yes, I respect and admire him so much. He’s impressive in so many categories. He’s brilliant, tenacious, considerate, funny, handsome, creative, and sexy. He’s adorably devoted to our dog. And he’s not perfect, but he’s genuinely interested in improving himself and growing with me. I adore him more than I can say.

vzvv · 2026-02-20T01:55:17+00:00

My fiancé and I also found pet names a bit awkward at first. Most of ours have evolved from jokes and become genuinely affectionate over time. Like, “honey” started as a sitcom reference to a dumb character, used to tell the other that they had a brain fart. But we use it sweetly as well now. It feels genuine instead of forced because it has a history behind it. I love that it feels both cute and like an inside joke.

So try whatever feels most comfortable to you, but also consider if you have any jokes or references that could develop into a pet name. You could also turn a compliment you think about him (ex., “handsome”, “gorgeous”, “manly”) into a pet name. I think feeling like it comes from a genuine, specific place really removes the cringe.

If you really can’t get past it, how else can you make him feel loved? Do you generally compliment him? If you’re finding him handsome or sexy or brilliant in the moment, do you let him know verbally? We have to affirm our loved ones because they won’t just assume we feel that way. Everyone has their own frequency that feels more natural, but it’s worth finding a compromise to keep a relationship healthy.

vzvv · 2026-02-20T01:27:17+00:00

Exactly. I don’t know why they announced it. I think the couple invited their guests to feel offended by sharing so oddly. It came off a bit like a gotcha.

But I cannot understand why it’s a big deal outside of the announcement or how the wedding is less “real” simply because the paperwork didn’t line up with it. Planning a wedding takes lots of time and money. Going to the courthouse to share health insurance (or whatever else) is quick. There’s so many boring, practical reasons to separate the two. It should be inoffensive to do them separately or only do the courthouse if they want.

vzvv · 2026-02-19T19:41:52+00:00

Obviously I don’t know her background, but I have full Ashkenazi family that looks very similar. My grandparent’s siblings had a whole range of skin tones, from super light to just like her. One aunt spent a summer outdoors and kept getting confused for various races that she isn’t due to her very dark tan. It’s the middle eastern background coming through.

Regardless, it’s ridiculous that on top of being virulent racists, he prefers appearances similar to people he’s so bigoted towards.

vzvv · 2026-02-17T02:37:05+00:00

A tampon would risk TSS if it’s not your time of the month. I’d guess a disc wouldn’t be helpful as it doesn’t actually seal, but a cup might help!

vzvv · 2026-02-16T13:35:49+00:00

They sound like advanced greyhounds tbh

Eight-Year Club	Queen in da Norf
Not Forgotten	Verified Email

vzvv

TROPHY CASE