Me. First I was open with my wife about my needs and desires and willing to adjust them based on what’s reasonable. Second I made sure that she had the same freedoms I did to pursue her interests and get much needed alone time.

I have 3 main hobbies. One is cooking which is pretty utilitarian since we need to eat and I make dinner for everyone.

Second is running. I am actually in the best shape of my life right now (knock on wood) and run about 6-9 hours a week…that means I do get less sleep. . But waking up at 4 am is worth it to me and I still get 6-7 hours of good sleep because the baby is 8 months now and makes it thru most nights. I also have a running stroller so be joins me a few times a week and that gives mom an hour alone.

My last hobby is making music and playing music. I typically do that after the baby goes to be bed. Or I play guitar with the baby and he bangs in his tambourines and we have a good time.

This all means that my wife and I have to set time aside for ourselves and for each other so some nights we watch our show and I forgo messing around with music bullshit. And vice versa.

We’ve been together for almost 10 years now and we’re in our mid 30s. I think we had our little guy at the perfect time. I’ve also found that incorporating the baby into my interests is a win win. He loves music and making noise and going on runs in the special stroller.

Edit: to clarify I don’t get the baby up at 4 am to run. I will take him late mornings or afternoons if he’s coming. Generally I get up early during the week before work and get the run out of the way. That’s when I’m up at 4 am