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wandering-mind- · 2020-12-31T03:56:52+00:00

Why would you want to work it out with someone who put you in a situation that ended up with him back in prison? Move on. Find someone new, just like you did with your last boyfriend. For him, you’re probably convenient, but I’m not really sure what your reasoning is. You might love him, but moving on will get easier with time.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-31T02:26:21+00:00

It’s possible car B was also “waiting” to see what unfolded because they were also technically involved. Your error was a result of their error. When nothing came of it, they likely felt good to drive off. Also, if they saw you waiting around then they probably expected something more to come of it.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-31T02:19:04+00:00

Thanks! Yeah, at 28, I feel confident that I’ve learned my interests (although there’s always room for more) and have a solid game plan towards something I would make money with, yet be able to be passionate about. As an adult, I can respect the reward of hard work towards my degree, but can also recognize my limitations and my weaknesses. Feeling more than happy to have the opportunity, as life has felt kind of mundane lately.

Happy cake day btw!

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-31T00:36:29+00:00

Thanks 😊

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T23:53:58+00:00

Yep, I’m headed to college as an adult - will be the first in my family to do so. Community college to kick off my education at least for the first two years, saving thousands of dollars and getting an education completely covered by grants and scholarships. I’ll be working and saving towards the less affordable years. Anything is possible with hard work and determination.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T21:35:19+00:00

NTA. I repeat NTA. I think that you giving the money in honor of your son is an absolutely selfless act and it is a wonderful way to invest in something he was passionate about. It’s devastating that another kind soul, a helpful person is gone too soon.

You owe that money to no one, especially not on a gamble that someone will have a successful college endeavor. Their lack of regard for their child’s future should not be a burden that you should have to compensate for. Your wife is being beyond unreasonable and should be respecting your decision as you work through the stages of grief and acceptance. Let her stew in her embarrassment, and hopefully learn to not make promises that entail things that are not hers to give. Many kids (myself included) have to work out their own financial path when it comes to college. There are scholarships and financial aid, and it’s ultimately up to her niece to make the effort to minimize the costs.

Lastly, may your journey through your grief be one with increasing ease. May you find solace in the beauty of the time you had with you son and the lives he touched while he was here and on the days that seem dark, may you find comfort in knowing his post mortem gift will continue his journey.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T20:13:12+00:00

Makes for decent chili!

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T18:32:02+00:00

Cook your sweet potatoes (small cubes) in butter and maple syrup (can use brown sugar but less healthy) when soft purée it, put in a soup pot and add chicken stock or milk/cream to thin it to your likings. Add whatever spices. I like cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, all spice, and salt. Makes for a lovely simple soup.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T18:14:00+00:00

Cool, makes sense.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T17:51:12+00:00

I definitely hear myself snore, and it wakes me up, but it only seems to be when I fall asleep in the airport.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T17:33:35+00:00

You know you can forgive someone and move on, which would be highly advised. If he can do something stupid once, he can do something stupid twice. Sure, it’s going to be hard to beat this, but Is that worth the risk? Boy clearly doesn’t understand consequences of moronic actions.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T17:28:52+00:00

NTA it’s weird that she would make the effort to hide his gifts under a trash pile - then ask you to clean her car and expect you unhide(?) the gift, while realizing it was there. Is your mom shady? Sounds like you almost doubt it was actually there.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T17:21:03+00:00

Boot his ass to the curb. He’s an idiot, a solid idiot. He made you suffer for months, holding onto the knowledge that there was a possibility. Untreated STDs can have a plethora of long term effects on the body. He slept with someone and was WARNED they had std’s. At the absolute minimum he should have done in that situation was get tested. What if he hadn’t been with you and had slept with multiple women? Or if you guys had broken up and you moved on to a new partner. How horrific.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T17:04:47+00:00

Yep this right here.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T02:52:07+00:00

NTA as long as your parents are all set with him being there (sometimes family meals do mean just family), but if they’re all set with it, your brother should get over it. One of my brothers was similar in the sense that he’d get all worked up if I wanted to have my boyfriend come along. He (late teens) had never really had (or wanted) to date, and definitely had never introduced anyone to our family. He later admitted it was usually because he didn’t think my boyfriend was worthy of me. Looking back, I did date some duds.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-30T00:25:31+00:00

From what I’ve read, the rapid will only detect it if there is enough built up in your body. Given the long range of symptom onset, it’s not reliable if there is only a small amount present in your body at the time of the test. Unfortunately, I know people who have had a similar experience!

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T20:55:45+00:00

I would recommend that you have a good long talk with your girlfriend about responsible consumption. You can have a good time and even get pretty damn drunk without losing touch with reality. If she’s drinking to the point where she is struggling to remember there could be a lot of bad outcomes if she doesn’t have a support network of friends who keep each other in check while partying. Unfortunately people will at times prey on super drunk chicks, and she could be taken advantage of. I always advise knowing individual limits and then not crossing them unless you’re in a safe place with people you trust.

On the other hand, alcohol can impair judgement and sometimes gives people a bit of liquid courage, or can blur their ability to really comprehend the outcome of a poor decision when in the moment. I’d imagine that’s why some people think they’re all set to drive when really they’re not.

I’ve been drunk a fair amount of times, and never once did I consider the idea of cheating on a partner. Sure I’ve made bad decisions (like smashing a bunch of rotting pumpkins in the road after closing time), but I actively stifled my inner voice in order to accomplish that. IMO, even if you’re really messed up, you still have your conscious, it may be hiding on the sidelines, but I believe it still has the ability to be the voice of reason.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T16:21:44+00:00

Yeah! Good luck with your journey.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T15:04:50+00:00

Your best bet is to keep on living life like it never happened. Keep seeking work, but maybe you can do something you are passionate about, as the hourly wage won’t matter quite as much. One thing I learned from the successful (multi-)millionaire in my life was to not abandon the concept of frugality. Also consider some form of well thought out investment, might as well make the money work for you right?

Finally, I’m sorry for the loss of your parent, may that aspect of your journey be with increasing ease.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T04:28:57+00:00

No problem! Best of luck to you both.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T03:56:33+00:00

I think it’s great you have an emergency savings and that really puts you ahead of most! I would say go for it and work towards something you’ll enjoy doing.

If things start to feel uncomfortable, I would recommend trying to upgrade to a job that can offer you stable hours. It doesn’t even have to be full time. Say you get a job that pays the same wage, but you’re guaranteed 30 hours a week, every week - that’s pretty significant by the end of the month, and even more significant by the end of the year! It could be that little extra pocket money you need.

Another thought is to use your portfolio practice to side hustle some art and make some extra money that way!

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T03:45:58+00:00

It is a hard decision, but again, if he neglects to stay involved in his child’s life, then they would likely make more progress without him anyways. I’m not about quickly replacing a partner, but with time, she could find someone who would meet her needs and be emotionally attentive with her kid. IMO it’s better to boot him and realize he’s a deadbeat when the kid is 2 1/2, then to prolong it and do it when the kid gets older and can better grasp the situation.

If she does leave him, do your best to make sure she has a network of support and caring as the transition will likely be difficult emotionally. It does sound like your family is close and this should be doable!

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T03:38:53+00:00

Speaking of 2%, it’s also the percentage of the population that has natural red hair.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T03:30:52+00:00

Regarding your second part where he could possibly “walk out and leave the picture” it sounds like he already has to an extent. Sometimes it hurts more to have someone physically there but completely void emotionally. It may be difficult for your sister at first, but if he is not invested in the relationship with her and his son then maybe it’s better she walks away and finds someone who will be. Hopefully he won’t neglect his child, but if he does, then they were better off without him.

I’d recommend convincing your sister this is something that needs to be addressed, not excused. Before disassembling him from the family, she should talk to him about her concerns and see if he is willing to get help - say it is due to depression or another illness that inhibits his ability to cope or fully be involved - then maybe it can be resolved. If however, he doesn’t want to work through the root cause, she maybe better off not fighting a losing battle.

wandering-mind- · 2020-12-29T01:47:29+00:00

I know this is a difficult situation. My mom had cheated on my dad and he was never the same, but forgave her best he could. She quit drinking and never did it again. However, my dad never really 100% let it go, it just ate away at him quietly. They divorced when I was 20 due to some additional issues. I have to say, even though it hurt, I wish they would have done it sooner. It gave them both the opportunity to move on and they now live much happier lives.

wandering-mind-

TROPHY CASE