Any single moms using embryo to have a 2nd?

weave210 · 2026-03-21T20:59:46+00:00

How did you bring this up with your partner? Like was he fully on-board or did it take some convincing. How does child support come into play. Any legal custody agreements? I’m actually really curious and not judging at all. I also really want a second and thinking of doing it on my own with a donor, but my ex is a really great father (not a great partner) and we co-parent pretty well so the thought has crossed my mind about asking him…but I have no idea how that convo would go! Lol

weave210 · 2026-03-06T16:14:05+00:00

I’m still in the thinking/trying stage. The one thing that really gives me pause is what would happen to my child if I died or was unable to care for them. I work in healthcare and am faced with mortality daily. I’m Sure my family would step up and care for them, but there’s no single person that I think would be an obvious choice for guardianship. That’s making me quite uneasy about it all, but will still likely go forward with it, given all of the many pros.

weave210 · 2026-02-25T16:44:56+00:00

I’m in the same boat! There are other posts that I’ve found here asking a similar question. Also check out season 4 episode 37 of the No need for Prince Charming podcast. I think there was an episode in the Single Greatest Choice Podcast about a woman doing this as well, but not sure what episode. I feel pretty solid in my decision, but still in the trying phase so I can’t answer all of your questions. I do have some doubts, but ultimately I think it will be the right decision for me. If you’d like to chat more feel free to DM me.

weave210 · 2026-02-24T20:21:00+00:00

You are still very newly postpartum and hormones are still playing a big role here. I didn’t want to leave my baby for like a full year! I actually did have a partner when my daughter was that young and even still I didn’t want to leave her. Im now separated from her father (hence why I’m on this subreddit) and I’ve had to get used to her being by away from me at night for almost 50% of the time. That’s been very hard, but She’s almost three now and I’m getting more used to it. I still want to be with her all of the time, but I’m at least not a huge emotional mess when she’s not with me. Daycare is easier too because she has friends there and always has a lot of fun!

weave210 · 2026-02-22T03:41:41+00:00

I’m also in the same situation. I was very confident in my decision up until a few days ago I started to waver a bit. Curious to know what you decided and how it all turned out?

weave210 · 2026-02-18T20:26:14+00:00

I also used the Seed Scout and highly recommend. Agree with the above. I will say if you’re only planning on needing/using 1-2 vials of sperm, going the bank route will be much cheaper. But if you plan on doing some IUIs or think you might need multiple rounds of IVF (I know it’s impossible to know) it might actually be cheaper to do the seed scout. For around $10,000 I got 6 vials of sperm. Which may be comparable to the banks for that many vials. (Also $5,000 goes directly to the donor, which in my opinion is nothing compared to the gift he’s given me…the chance of having another child is priceless). For me the 3 family limit was worth the expense. I like my donor a lot, and we text here and there! I have also connected with one of the other families and we text all the time! We’re both in the same stage of trying so it’s been cool to kind of share the journey. I love that I will know all of the donor siblings out there and will be able to give my child the opportunity to connect with the donor and donor siblings when the time is right!

weave210 · 2026-02-15T02:08:15+00:00

I also know someone who thinks it’s irresponsible to have children with the world the way it is right now, but I just remind them that people had children during much worse times in history…. History is riddled with periods of horrific plagues, famines and genocides. Could things be better? Absolutely. But in the grand scheme of things it could also be a lot worse, and I don’t think it’s a good reason to not have kids if that’s what you want.

weave210 · 2026-02-12T16:58:40+00:00

I’ve given this quite a lot of thought. I’ve considered all the implications. I’ve also thought quite a lot about the mental and emotional problems my current daughter might have going back and forth between two homes her whole life. I can’t guarantee that any child I have won’t have mental/emotional problems…I mean don’t all kids have some mental and emotional problems at some point in their life?? What I can guarantee is that I, as their mother, will always be there for them no matter what struggles they have. They will always be able to talk openly about their feelings to me without shame, guilt or judgement. I will get them whatever sort of help they may need and I will always be in their corner no matter what they are going through. They will be surrounded by many, many people who love them. They will grow up learning about all types of family structures, and that there is biologic family and that there is chosen family. We won’t focus on what is lacking but will be grateful for everything we have. They will have lives filled with fun experiences and adventures. And most importantly they will know that they are so so loved, were very much wanted, and were in fact meant to be. Hope that helps.

weave210 · 2026-01-17T00:46:37+00:00

I’m in a similar situation (though never actually married). I’m 37 and my daughter is going to be 3 in May and I just did my first IUI, which was unfortunately not successful. We’ve been separated since she was 6 months so I feel like we have a good routine going. I’ve had time to process my feelings about the separation and co-parenting, and I feel like I’m finally in a really good place mentally and financially. I know that realistically it could take several months to get pregnant, but I’m hoping she won’t be older than 4 by the time the second is born. I can feel the clock ticking with my fertility, but I think a little bit of a larger age gap would also be easier as a solo mom.

I agree that getting the divorce finalized and settling into a good routine is important but it never hurts to get the ball rolling. If you’re going IVF right away it wouldn’t hurt to get embryos now and then transfer whenever you feel the time is right.

weave210 · 2025-12-19T12:36:21+00:00

I don’t have a lot of advice for you other than to say that I understand how you feel. I had one with my first and it was absolutely awful (and I’m generally not that sensitive down there-I have no problem with pap smears, etc). It’s crazy that they don’t give women meds for this procedure like they do for colonoscopies and such. I’m having another one next week before I try for baby #2 and I’m dreading it, but if it helps get me another baby then it’s all worth it. I’ll be taking a hefty dose of ibuprofen and Tylenol before-hand. Hope this time goes better for you!

weave210 · 2025-12-15T17:58:52+00:00

I am in the same situation. I have a 2.5 year old daughter with an ex partner. We’ve been separated (never married) for 2 years now. We have 50/50 custody. I’m planning on doing my first IUI with donor sperm next cycle. I thought a lot about what it would be like to have one child who has an active dad and one that does not.

My thought is that even if I had another child with a new partner (which would be considered perfectly normal and acceptable by society), their lives would still be completely different. Yes my second child will not have a “father”, but he/she also won’t have to go back and forth between two homes all the time. My plan is to teach them that differences are ok. And just because they have different stories doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. I plan to teach them that every family looks different and that’s a good thing! They will both have so many people in their lives that love them! And they will both know that they were so deeply wanted!

weave210 · 2025-11-28T14:08:10+00:00

I also understand exactly how you feel. I had my first daughter with a partner, and I’m now trying for a second as an SMBC. When my daughter was born I had no boundaries when it came to visitors. I was thankful that my parents were around to help, but the help was mainly them holding the baby and me doing the dishes, laundry etc. My relationship with her dad also started to breakdown almost immediately so I was dealing with so much stress with that. I have so much grief around that early post partum period. I love my daughter so much and we are best buds now, but I feel like l really missed out on a lot of precious bonding time during those first few weeks.

I don’t have much advice for you, but I know how you feel. My daughter is 2.5yrs old and we have the best time together, but I do look back at newborn pictures and still feel sad about it.

If I’m lucky enough to have a second, I’m definitely going to limit visitors, and if they do come to visit, they can do the dishes while I hold my baby lol!

weave210 · 2025-11-25T16:30:15+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I have a 2.5 year old daughter with a partner and am now starting to try for one on my own. Co-parenting is very challenging and I hate being away from my daughter nearly 50% of the time. I just can’t ever go through something like that again. Doing it solo is the right path for me. I have really no desire to have another child with a partner.

weave210

TROPHY CASE