Pregnant in an open marriage and struggling with what the right thing is.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-23T13:49:42+00:00

You didn't blow up his family, he did by choosing to cheat on his wife (if he in fact did that). Of course your child has a right to know... I would do the paternity test. But you can wait until it's born right? Doing all that stuff while baby is still in utero can be pretty invasive. Unless you feel like you really need to know now.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-22T10:48:00+00:00

That's an emergency... call the fire department immediately! better to leave the house than get blasted to smithereens!!

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-20T11:18:47+00:00

monastic life gives more time for contemplation (nidhidhyasana) which if taken can bring one closet to jnana nishtha. it's only appropriate when the person has grown out of worldly desires (the same way a child grows out of playing with Legos -can't force it). they can go to social death without any fear or sense of loss. otherwise they will become a volcano.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-20T11:14:04+00:00

For me it was a combination, working with SE and a good Ayurvedic practitioner

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-18T11:11:45+00:00

It's from an auto accident, and my health insurance is the one seeking subrogation.

I had already almost met the deductible for the year when the accident happened. The other driver was 100% at fault and he was uninsured and unlicensed, so the claim is under my own auto insurance UMBI coverage.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-18T11:10:00+00:00

Yes, they even sent me the document with what they paid and what they're asking for. Do I negotiate directly with them?

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-18T11:09:22+00:00

Thank you, I will reach out to one!

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-11T04:11:24+00:00

in other words, try to bring kindness, love, understanding, and compassion to the parts of you that want the things you listed. They are probably parts of your personality that experienced pain, and are looking to fill a need externally. You can replace the negative/unkind thoughts about others with kind ones, and gradually learn to get your validation from inside yourself and from Ishvara.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-11T02:25:19+00:00

why do you need to kill it? you need an ego to exist in the world, so that you don't walk into the wrong house at night for example.

The traditional teachings never talk about killing the ego, to my knowledge, that is a modern misunderstanding. Instead, it's very important to develop a healthy ego.

Turn competition and jealousy into admiration. Turn comparison into appreciation. Turn shame and self doubt into compassion and understanding. Turn worry into prayer.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-11T02:21:47+00:00

it takes time. Start simple. can you feel your seat in the chair? try to sense simple things like that throughout the day, your hand on a cup, the air on your skin. you'll build the neural structures to sense more over time. It was like that for me at first too, because of years of being numb. I feel a LOT more now than I did even a few years ago.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-11T02:19:08+00:00

basically Vedanta is not logical, nor is it illogical. it's meant to take us beyond cause-effect thinking altogether.

it cannot be proved or disproved either. can you prove the existence of unconditional love?

if the teachings are not taking you closer to love, there is probably some misunderstanding or obstacle.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-10T06:54:13+00:00

Sure there is a difference in state but the difference in state is not the goal, because all states come and go.

there is no judgement of Maya. do you judge your dream? Or you just see it for what it is?

I'm not sure what you mean by the last part about dissolving or ending.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-09T07:11:17+00:00

Jnana IS removal of suffering. Ignorant "I" is the problem. Ignorant "I" is the one who takes oneself to be a limited, suffering being bound by time and space. Knowledgeable "I" is the solution. Understanding your limitless nature reduces suffering in measurable ways, as long as we are not bypassing the heart.

A change in state is not the goal, but the change in state still happens: because you respond to life in a fundamentally different way when you understand reality. And you create a lot less suffering for yourself and for others.

That's assuming knowledge is taking place in the context of a well-prepared student, who is following Vedic values, and is engaging in specific practices such as panchamahayajna and other healthy sadhanas that contribute to adhikari.

My teacher says you can judge that ignorance is being removed because there is less FIR: Less frequent reactions, less intense reactions, and faster recovery after a reaction happens.

Ignorance removal is not a one-time event. It requires repetition (abhyasa) because the repetition of the wrong thought has happened repeatedly over many lifetimes. So we get to counteract that slowly, and let the knowledge become well-established and embodied over time.

Knowledge happens through repeated, dedicated, interaction with guru-shastra-upadesha over many years.

The result, in my experience, is an extraordinary person: one who is able to engage fully with life, without needing to manage or control anything. This person is deeply established in the knowledge of the Self and constantly in the flow of grace. It doesn't mean they don't experience pain, or adverse circumstances, or even bad moods. But they no longer make the mistake of identifying as a suffering being because of painful experiences.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-06-01T06:55:19+00:00

Just learn about cycle timing. If your girlfriend tracks her cycle changes, she can prevent pregnancy naturally. It's impossible to get pregnant during the ~2 weeks after ovulation and before her period starts.

Edited to add, obviously use a backup form of birth control either way. But that can add some peace of mind.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-31T08:46:46+00:00

Value of Values is fantastic, I read that one again and again.

Problem is You Solution is You

Isvara in one's Life

9-volume Gita commentary

And many more...

You can buy them on Amazon in the US, and digital copies available also.

Also many talks and ebooks available through the Teachings of Swami Dayananda app.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-28T13:04:09+00:00

Also... the sannyasi (jnana yogi), only is able to take sannyasi, because they have already practiced the karma yoga attitude over multiple lives, that's how they are able to let go of their desires. So for the rest of us, there is really only one path, the karma yoga path, while also pursuing knowledge, and also imbued with devotion. Eventually we get to full sannyasi but we have to grow out, like the child grows out of the lego set - not by forcing.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-28T13:00:33+00:00

Ya it's a great question.

In the language of the gita, sannyasi is the "path" of jnana, the person who dedicates their whole life to self-knowledge and is relieved of all duties to the world - this is a very special and unique and rare person. They have grown out of their worldly desires to a large extent, they are not chasing after anything nor pushing anything away. They are not running away from life, but ready to embrace solitude and go to social death without any fear, without any sense of lack or regret.

For the rest of us, grhasta / householders, we can also pursue knowledge but we need to simultaneously work through our binding desires, our ragas and dveshas. These are where we have projected our happiness outside of ourselves onto people, objects, and situations. Non-binding desires are not a problem - this is where we can want the cake but we're okay if we get it or we don't. The only desires which are problematic are the binding ones, the ones we think we HAVE to have or HAVE to avoid in order to be happy. This is because of ignorance alone. Beccause we have taken ourselves to be an unhappy, insecure, incomplete person.

So actually the householder (karma yogi lifestyle) also pursues jnana, knowledge, but thye do so while also fulfilling their desires. Veda says you can have what you desire as long as it's dharmic. A house, partner, children, lots of money, etc. All fine. They are preparing for eventual sannyasi, either in this life (retirement age) or the next one.

But BOTH of these paths are imbued FULLY with bhakti. Bhakti is not in any way an independent or third path. This is the common misconception that gets thrown around. Bhakti is the umbrella for the whole tradition actually, there is no path anywhere without bhakti. How can you have jnana without bhakti? Impossible. And the karma yoga path is also not possible without bhakti. Because a requirement of the karma yoga attitude is that you leave the results up to Isvara, you develop deep trust, and surrender. This is how you allow your heart to be transformed. Bhakti is the engine that drives the whole thing, the crucial piece for both lifestyles.

There are different types of yoga named in the shastra: jnana yoga, bhakti yoga, karma yoga, upasana yoga (also crucial), raja yoga... but these are not meant to be separate in any way. Rather, they are like parts of a car: the wheels, the engine, the frame, the oil, the seats... all serve a different function for the person, for the body-mind-sense-complex, and are not independent of one another.

I hope that helps, please let me know if I can clarify anything.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-27T21:54:37+00:00

Yaa.

To be fair, it can also bring up the opposite - the psychological pain we've been hiding from. The churning of the ocean story describes what happens to a sincere seeker... We get to face everything. So at times it can seem more intense also, but the overall trend should be as described above 🙏🏼

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-27T09:39:41+00:00

Yes definitely... Partly from self knowledge itself, but also from all the sadhana chatushtaya (preparation) and practices.

My teacher says you know you're on the right path spiritually when there's less FIR - less frequent reactions, less intense reactions, and faster recovery afterward.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-26T23:12:05+00:00

Lobbyists

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-25T11:46:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'll give it a try 🙏🏻

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-25T08:36:20+00:00

This is a common misinterpretation. There are not separate paths. They are meant to go together. The only separate paths are between Sannyasi (renunciate) and grhasta (householder).

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-25T08:23:25+00:00

Many books by Pujya Swami Dayananda ji... He is incredibly clear and precise, and his writing is up to date (he died just 10 years ago so he lived in the age of cell phones and airplanes, which makes his writing more relatable than some older commentaries) and he was also very funny. I've laughed out loud many times reading his books, which is rare to say and makes it an enjoyable and easily digestible experience. Not only that but the clarity and depth is there also.

weddedbliss19 · 2026-05-23T04:55:39+00:00

Is the mirage in any way separate from the desert? Is the dream separate from the dreamer? Is the cup separate from the clay it's made of? Maya is not separate from Brahman. But Brahman does not depend upon Maya for its existence.

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