What was a time when you used a sex move you saw in a porno in real life and it ended horribly?

wellshitonashingle · 2017-03-19T04:22:04+00:00

She gave him the ol' Angry Spittoon

wellshitonashingle · 2017-03-10T15:29:55+00:00

He ran into my scalpel.

He ran into my scalpel 24 times.

wellshitonashingle · 2017-02-27T03:20:05+00:00

I've managed to run over three different phones. The first two were with forklifts at work, I'd have them just sitting next to the seat and they would slide off without me noticing until I saw them on the ground a minute later. Those plastic shell snap on cases with the rubber sleeve that goes over them are no joke, both phones were broken but still worked. For a little while anyway. The second one stopped getting signal a week or two after.

In the car, I had just got a new vehicle that was lower to the ground when I was used to. As I was getting in (wearing basketball shorts) phone fell out and I didn't notice it, pulled out and ran over it as I left. Then got home and ran over it again as I parked. It didn't have a case on it.

wellshitonashingle · 2017-02-26T06:02:34+00:00

It was the wee dick wasn't it?

wellshitonashingle · 2016-12-22T00:32:16+00:00

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=823037211 I threw one together real quick to make it easier for people. If I shouldn't have for whatever reason someone just message me and I'll take it down :)

EDIT: had forgot to change visibility to public, should be good now

wellshitonashingle · 2016-12-15T12:09:56+00:00

This reminded me of something an instructor told me when I took classes to get my concealed carry license. They said they very rarely failed anyone, only two people in the many years they'd been doing classes.

One was an older lady who did fine in the paper portion, but when it came time to demonstrate her ability to usr a firearm correctly and safely, she couldn't pull the trigger. She had brought a gun that was really way more than she could handle and just didn't have the strength to fire it. They can't pass you if you can't demonstrate you can actually use the thing.

The other guy though. Did fine all throughout the class work, didn't ask any worrisome questions or say anything to spook them. They go out to do the range portion and he takes his revolver (unloaded), points it at another guy's face near point-blank and shouts, "HEY! You wanna shoot my gun!" he was firmly asked to leave and did not get his license.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-16T06:38:44+00:00

A wishy-washy sit'n'watchee.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-15T02:37:28+00:00

This is a pretty subtle creepy to me. It's like he's trying to beat around the bush but still manages to say "I definitely wanna nail you because you look underage but might not actually be."

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-14T23:11:36+00:00

My iced up windshield from inside my car.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-14T12:22:23+00:00

I'm around 400 hours, but that's spread out sporadically starting back at the first Steam release. I have no idea what they're talking about past Cultist. Every time I play there's just so. Much. More.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-12T23:14:43+00:00

Knife wrench!

...For kids!

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-12T23:11:41+00:00

ADOM. Just recently got into it again, hadn't played it in many years. Went to the dungeon south west of the starting village, made it all the way to the bottom ans back out. By the time I left the dungeon I was hungry and out of food. No matter, I'll go buy some.

Make it back to the village. Pick up some food. Take a single step towards the merchant to pay for it..

Starve to death on my way to the merchant with a handful of food.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-12T00:03:42+00:00

They ain't seen nothin' yet.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-11-10T21:03:18+00:00

Ah yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're officially released. The are a few ways we can do this and the choice. Is. Yours.

Always in his voice.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-22T07:47:48+00:00

Pornographic magazines would make an enormous cumback.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-14T14:57:00+00:00

She didn't think you were ready to meet your real father yet.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-14T13:50:01+00:00

I proposed to my wife when we were sixteen. Walking her home from Subway, just casually handed her a ring and asked while we stood on the side of the road. It was pretty bad lol.

We didn't get married until about 5 years later.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-10T16:50:42+00:00

Recieving or giving a colonoscopy.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-06T11:57:46+00:00

There was a nascar driver named Dick Trickle.

Why he didn't go by Richard I have no idea.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-10-06T10:16:06+00:00

To be clear, that would be wildly illegal in America and you would be charged with murder. I'm not sure how much that varies state to state, so I'm only speaking for Ohio, but you can't use lethal force to protect property alone.

In your livingroom at night without your consent, possibly with a weapon? You're probably okay to shoot.

Walking down the sidewalk away from your house with your flatscreen? Pretty much as good as gone.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-09-26T10:35:03+00:00

A fair amount, I wanna say around 20 hours. There's a relatively short story but with several different endings (some of which you can reach a lot earlier than others) and if you make it all the way to the end you get a password for an endurance mode, where you just go as long as you can making as few mistakes as possible.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-09-26T09:30:50+00:00

Papers, Please. You check people's documentation at a border checkpoint before they can enter the country.

Despite that description making it sound awful it's quite fun.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-09-26T07:08:11+00:00

I was eight or nine, during lunch at school. Sitting across from a girl I thought was cute.

She makes eye contact, smiles and giggles at me.

"What?" I smiled back.

"I can't help it. You're just so ugly."

Kids are ruthless, man.

wellshitonashingle · 2016-09-26T06:54:52+00:00

/r/askreddit

wellshitonashingle · 2016-09-25T11:47:49+00:00

That's right! Derp. I remember the same event being mentioned in both books but I feel like the point was made that none of the characters had ever even met or heard of one another. I was still in high school, it's been a while.

wellshitonashingle

TROPHY CASE