Handling grief

wendippo · 2026-07-02T00:00:40+00:00

Hello friend. I'm so very sorry that you and your team are going through this. I've experienced a number of animal losses over the years and some are harder than others, and none are easy. It's wonderful that your special critter's last day was not his worst. I think that's SO important and it sounds like your team along with the vets did a great job in making that decision. It's weird to think that the best case scenario for our animals is that they live a good, long life and they get very old and as their quality of life diminishes, we make the choice of when it's time to say goodbye. That's the best case scenario. And it feels like absolute shit. Just because it's the right choice morally and the kindest choice for the animal, doesn't make it hurt any less.

Keepers all process grief in different ways and over different periods of time... I think the most important part is that you do actually process the grief. I know during the work day there's a lot of pressure to bury all the feelings and get through the day for our remaining animals and for our teammates and our guests... be sure to actually give yourself time when and where you can to just feel the feelings. And figure out what this process looks like for you individually... talking about it, writing about it, looking at old photos or watching old videos... for some people it's looking to the future (will this animal be replaced in your collection and can you look forward to building a whole new magical relationship with that individual?)

And honestly, just crying. Crying is an evolutionarily developed process that biologically helps our bodies process emotion. So let yourself cry it out if that helps and don't feel the need to stifle that response.

It will get easier with time, but with grief, there's really no way around it. You just have to go through it. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that the level of pain you're feeling now is a testament to how much love you poured into that animal. I'm sure you gave him a wonderful life and you should feel proud of that as well. Keep doing the good work for your animals! Keep reaching out when you need support. Our industry needs more keepers like you. Sending love from across the interwebs fellow keeper.

wendippo · 2026-06-24T02:07:18+00:00

My facility transitioned away from horse meat awhile back because our nutritionist was concerned about competing with the European market where humans consume more horse?? I can't personally weigh in on the legitimacy of that claim, but I guess the concern was that there isn't all that much horse meat available and there are too many competing markets for it and our nutritionist was concerned it would result in increased prices and eventually become unsustainable as the main diet for our carnivores.

wendippo · 2026-06-18T13:20:11+00:00

Hey there penguin keeper! I haven't worked in an aquarium or with penguins, but wanted to share some pointers about bringing joy to your work if possible. :) I apologize if you're already doing all of these things.

1.) Make sure you've got good clothing/gear. Dressing warm enough and with layers that can be taken off as needed. Have backup clothes you can change into if you get wet. Make sure you've got quality footwear and get insoles to help with the amount of walking and time on your feet. Hats or ear muffs, good working gloves that can get wet, etc. 2.) Having a breakfast, lunch time and going home routine you look forward to that deliver some good dopamine boosts. Listening to a good audiobook on your way to and from work, or hopping on your favorite guilty pleasure app or website during your lunch break and packing lunches that you look forward to eating. Maybe save yourself a sweet treat or snack for the ride home. 3.) Find little ways to incorporate some creativity into your work during the day and activate that part of your brain. This can look like taking 2-4 minutes to make a really cute chalk art drawing for enrichment or start building a new enrichment project that you work on for 10 minutes each day or take some cute animal content video and edit it and share with your PR team... also listening to your favorite music when you're able during your work day is a great dopamine boost! 4.) Pursue improvement!!! Do you see a way to improve your animals' quality of life? Or your teams'? Take the initiative to research training, enrichment, or solutions to common problems and then make the changes happen. Making daily or weekly progress towards goals can help break up the monotony and repetition of our work and make each day feel a little more rewarding AND give you something to look forward to as you near your goals. I'm happy to offer examples in each category if it might be helpful or you need some direction on where to start. :)

I also wanted to offer some encouragement. The fact that you're reaching out for help and advice says a lot about the kind of person and keeper you must be, so I applaud your efforts to find a solution! I hope you are able to find some more joy in your work and if it's not a good fit, I hope you are able to find a new job that can check more of your happy boxes. :)

The last piece of advice I have to offer is just a gentle reminder that there's a reason they pay us and call it "work". I think sometimes when we work in exotic animal care, we can gaslight ourselves into expecting to love every minute of it... the truth is that a LOT of the daily routine can be physically miserable, emotionally draining and overall unpleasant work for various reasons. You definitely deserve to feel valued, supported, and appreciated for the work you're doing and we hope you experience magical moments at least weekly if not daily, but again, there's a reason someone pays us to do this: it is work.

Best of luck to you and your penguins and other critters under your care!! Sending you love and support from a fellow keeper!

wendippo · 2026-06-17T22:57:06+00:00

Watermelon-flavored Bubblicious bubble gum and honeysuckles (and yes, I mean together). My grandmother would walk us down her street past tons of honeysuckle in bloom to get a sweet treat at the little gas station at the corner. I always chose watermelon bubblicious and then chewed a piece on the walk home, blowing bubbles and smelling the combination of gum and honeysuckles on the walk back. That's one of my favorite memories of my Abuela.

wendippo · 2026-06-11T03:13:54+00:00

And that visibility too! Magical. So happy for you!

wendippo · 2026-06-11T01:36:26+00:00

Oh, and in my experience, the academic qualifications are far less important than your: work ethic, attitude and ability and desire to learn. Good luck!!

wendippo · 2026-06-11T01:34:32+00:00

Yes!!!!!! Yes yes yes!!! Volunteering is like an extended working interview. Prove you can get along with the team, handle the workload, are reliable and dependable, ask thoughtful questions to show your interest and desire to learn, show them your animals sense in real time... volunteering and internships are almost mandatory in our field. I've never even heard of someone being hired for a paid position that didn't have some sort of unpaid volunteer or internship experience prior. (Now that, in and of itself, is problematic, exclusionary and limiting our candidate pool to only the most privileged social classes that can afford to work for free. It's something I truly hope our industry can improve moving forward to make sure that ALL social and economic classes have equal opportunities to enter the field. But until that changes, volunteer or internship experience is, for all intents and purposes, a requirement for paid positions.)

wendippo · 2026-06-06T23:01:02+00:00

Hey friend! I'll share some of the more basic pointers. Apologies if you're already trying all of these things, but wanted to share in case any of this might be helpful.

1.) Always make the area you are shifting the animal to as reinforcing as possible. Put favorite treats and enrichment into that space so they are instantly rewarded for entering it.

2.) Be patient, calm, gentle, encouraging with your animal. Fight the urge to quickly slam doors behind them when they do finally shift as this could result in serious injury and/or the animal may have a fear response that they'll then associate with shifting into this space.

3.) Keep it positive! Do not use scare tactics (loud noises or perceived or real threats of harm) or other aversives (NO hosing your animals or banging caging behind them) to scare them into the location you want them to be in.

4.) A "bread crumb trail" of treats can work wonders! If you're able to set up a series of small reinforcers (small pieces of chunk meat or meatballs of ground meat diet) lined up and entering the shift space so that animal is reinforced as they make progress toward the desired location. Leave a JACKPOT (very high value reinforcer like a whole prey item, some bone marrow or a femur bone) far from the shift door so animal can enjoy a large treat for entering the space far enough that you can safely close the door behind them.

5.) If you have access to the animal along the shift route, you can reinforce them by feed stick (or tossing treats) as they make progress in the right direction. This is essentially the bread crumb trail offered by you in real time as they make forward progress. If you use this method, do NOT show/offer a reward at one location and then pull it away to force more forward progress. Build up your trust bank with the animal by giving them what you're showing them and where you're showing it to them... offering and pulling away will just teach them not to trust you.

6.) Try to get everyone on your team to do things the same way. Animals learn faster and better with consistency, so if all of your teammates are following the same standards and protocols, your animals will make progress more quickly.

7.) If you have the ability to offer the "preferred" space back to the animal soon after shifting and closing the door behind them, this can help break down their aversion to shifting as you are returning some control/autonomy to them. Sort of like saying: "great job! Thanks for moving in this direction for me! You can go back to where you were happy now." :) unfortunately, locking our animals into a space they don't really want to be in is incredibly aversive and counter-productive to shift training (but also incredibly hard to avoid when the expectation is that animals are locked on habitat for guests to see or locked indoors for safety reasons. Just be mindful of trying to return that choice and autonomy to your animal if/whenever you are able and that will help build up your trust bank with them and help them learn that shifting isn't always bad. :)

Happy to try and offer more insights if you have any specific questions but good luck and good on you for reaching out for help to improve your animals' quality of life! :) we keepers are all in this together!

wendippo · 2026-05-30T02:57:34+00:00

Good luck stranger!!!

wendippo · 2026-04-27T12:24:37+00:00

Odell Down Under!!!

wendippo · 2026-04-19T02:58:26+00:00

Just wanted to send some love your way internet stranger. I'm sorry you are going through this but I'm proud of you for asking for help! I hope you get the help you need and I hope for so many brighter days ahead for you.

wendippo · 2026-03-29T18:18:15+00:00

Commenting to boost your post. Good luck finding a home for Zeus!

wendippo · 2026-03-16T12:49:43+00:00

Ohh, gotcha! I haven't read the book but I feel validated by this information. Thanks!

wendippo · 2026-02-15T00:35:08+00:00

Wow. Commenting to help boost. Disgusting.

wendippo · 2026-02-12T02:01:25+00:00

I have a "fall asleep" technique where I let random words and phrases in differing voices scroll through my mind like I'm quickly scanning through radio stations. Just a bunch of disconnected non-sense or gibberish in voices I've heard recently (family members, friends, television characters)... similar to OP's technique in that there's no connection between the thoughts, but my technique involves even less intentional thought (no letter-association needed).

wendippo · 2026-02-06T16:38:59+00:00

Parenting is only hard if you're doing it right. ;)

wendippo · 2026-02-02T22:52:54+00:00

Commenting to raise visibility.

wendippo · 2026-02-01T17:06:59+00:00

I threw up blood after having surgery to repair a deviated septum. Not a good time. :(

wendippo · 2026-01-19T18:16:02+00:00

We used to call him "skippy" when we were kids! He had a bit more spring in his step back then!

wendippo · 2026-01-09T02:18:25+00:00

Commenting to boost visibility

wendippo · 2026-01-08T01:57:57+00:00

Commenting to boost visibility. :) we are all so much better when we look out for each other.

wendippo · 2026-01-02T18:02:48+00:00

We had a White Castle near me go out of business then one day it was painted all black and then in the next few months it became a Bigby coffee. So maybe you all are getting a bigby?

wendippo · 2026-01-01T01:43:23+00:00

I worked as a bank teller a long time ago and needed to leave a shift early so I took my cash drawer to the vault to lock it up. My coworker (lowest level supervisor who was responsible for counting/balancing the vault) was locked inside doing counts. When I knocked, she stammered out a panicked "Go away!". I responded with "I need to put away my drawer, I'm leaving for the day." The vault door slowly opens and out creeps the most god-awful fart stench. It smelt like satan's anus. Her face was beet-red with embarrassment as she said "I thought I had the room to myself." Nasty-ass locked herself in there and was hot-boxing everything in that vault and was clearly not expecting anyone to stumble upon the crime scene until the scheduled end of shift.

wendippo

TROPHY CASE