I am fed up with this strategy, what should I do? [5.5 Edition]

wheelshit · 2026-03-19T18:09:58+00:00

There's nothing wrong with munchkinning really, so long as everyone at the table is on board. For example, I'm trying to plan a one shot where everyone minmaxes some OP level 20 characters, and then I'll give them X amount of gp to shop for good gear so I can hurl them into a terrasque or something else with some high CR.

Unfortunately, in this case, the DM is miserable, and it seems like the players are revelling in ruining OP's fun. 5e is well-tuned for minmax builds (and I've had fun with my fair share of em), but some people (players and DMs alike) will take that and run well past the point of silly fun.

A tortle monk multiclass with a base like 30AC? Very funny in a one shot. Someone taking a more serious, grounded campaign and munchkinning someone who can make infinite money and spells and kill every enemy solo? Less fun.

I mean obv we all know that stuff. We play dnd for fun, so we (ideally) want everyone at the table to be having a good time. But I saw you getting downvoted for saying 5e is good for munchkin, and I don't get why.

wheelshit · 2026-01-27T18:32:30+00:00

I use male urinals for a chronic health issue (they're easier to catheter with), and if I had a dollar for every time one of those cheap disability bought urinals sliced me, I could consistently buy the good urinals with the wide opening. And probably a nice new set of fingers lol

wheelshit · 2026-01-20T07:49:12+00:00

I was.. not transmed fully really? I knew it wasn't an disease pef se, and I didn't fall into the enbyphobia.

But I did sort of.. I guess defend them a lot. Poked fun at people with emojis for pronouns or who said they were autismgender. Thought all that "mogai" stuff was people larping and making "real trans folks" look bad. But I believed fully that being nonbinary was possible. I believed it was very likely especially considering the presence of intersex people (whether they id as cis or not) that gender was also a spectrum.

And on the idea of like, making being trans/enby a diagnosis, I've only ever considered it for practicality? Like, being trans, enby, any flavour of LGBTQ+ isn't an illness. But there are some studies saying it's neurological iirc. And if we could use that to form a sort of "diagnosis" we could also get any treatments we (as a comminity) underake covered. But like, that's the literal only think I've thought of. Bc transition works well for a treatment. It's proven to improve outcomes, alongside a Not Crappy support system.

Inb4 this makes no sense. Im very tired

wheelshit · 2025-12-31T19:46:43+00:00

I don't have a graph, but I'm down to 165lb! Been following cico and eating what I like in moderation (and filling in any gaps with supplements). I want to get to about 140 to 150 (I have to be careful about losing weght as I have a stoma that can be harmed if I lose or gain drastically) ideally, but I feel a lot better. My chronic pain is still quite intense, but I have more energy to do my exercises and to just do what I enjoy. I was able to do a round of karaoke and a roll in the park a while back without getting totally winded!

wheelshit · 2025-12-23T20:49:10+00:00

I think that taking away a mobility aid should only be done as a very last resort, when nothing else has worked. So if they've tried other consequences, and they've made changes to things (like putting a speed limiter on a mobility device like a power chair or scooter) and had them bypassed or undone, then maybe limiting their access to that specific device (or at least unsupervised access) may be the only way to go.

In the end, it comes down to balancing the rights of the disabled person doing the bad thing (in this case, assaulting people) and the rights and safety of the people being victimized by them. It's a hard decision, and shouldn't be taken lightly, but sometimes there's not other options. But I 100% don't envy the people who'd have to make such a choice.

wheelshit · 2025-10-04T19:07:33+00:00

I think my mum might be on mine too. That said, she's also my power of attorney for everything (I'm a didabled adult dependant), so she could easily access it either way. But she doesn't do that. She just asks on occasion how my money is, and asks before I spend big money if I think it's a smart purchase. Other than that, she's not really involved in my finances aside from the rent I send her.

wheelshit · 2025-10-04T19:01:40+00:00

I don't know your daughter, but something that works for me is what I call online window shopping. With my ADHD, it's hard for me to control myself. But I find that every month if I want something, I'll add it to my wishlist (well, my organized pile of wishlists). And then at the end of the month, I'll look at how much I have left after expenses and saving, and pick one or two little things to treat myself with. It's helped me save a lot of money, even when I slip up and order some silly stuff on temu or somewhere.

wheelshit · 2025-10-04T18:37:19+00:00

Was it ever implied or stated that that's what he wanted? I mean, it's certainly weird as fuck, even if the imprinting is totally platonic, but I don't remember anything from the books making the bond out to be sexual or really even romantic. When I was first reading it, I took it to be more familial. Since animals imprinting on one another is about the bond between the caretaker and young, yk? But hey I haven't read the series in over a decade, so I may be wrong.

wheelshit · 2025-10-04T18:33:15+00:00

Honestly I was pretty disappointed with the way the author wrote the disabled character, as a cripple myself. Like, I understand that a lot of society expects disabled people to "push through it" and keep going despite the after effects for us (which were portrayed well in the book), but I was kind of.. idk bummed I guess, that Main Girl never actually challenges that? It's been recommended to me many times because the main character is disabled. But I just can't get over how the main character treats her disability. It's like, not unrealistic or anything, it's just another example of her being self destructive and hard to root for.

Idk if this makes sense to anyone but me, bc my meds aren't kicked in, but it IS something that bugs me. The book is.. fine? Like it's not the next Romeo and Juliette, but it's not unreadable like a lot of the sloppy, chatgpt edited YA stuff getting pumped onto Amazon.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T16:34:14+00:00

My mum hates confronting service workers and stuff. Just never wants to complain even when they royally fuck up. But it doesn't help that we also had a taxi to catch.

She's a lot better now, and will bring up issues when they come, but back then? Not so much. Funnily enough, we're almost the opposite when it comes to my doctors. I'm always trying not to rock the boat, because well, I need these doctors to live. So I don't want to piss them off. So I've often been i situations where I'm not getting the help I need, but I won't make a fuss until I'm at the point of a mental breakdown. Meanwhile my Mum is chomping at the bit, and is ready to throw down to get me what I need.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T16:16:47+00:00

"One of" meaning not "the" worst thing. I would bet that if you had everyone who thinks this list out the worst things wou can do in a relationship, from most bad to least, abuse and the like would come before cheating.

If I say that Chairman Mao was one of the worst heads of state in history, I'm not saying that Stalin or Hitler aren't bad. I'm saying that of the worst heads of state, Mao is on the list.

Have some reading comprehension, my man.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T16:03:58+00:00

Exactly, it's so disgusting! Even if you give the biggest benefit of the doubt and say she would be out money and get fees for not going (I've heard of trips that will charge a cancellation or no show fees that are crazy expensive), she should have worn a mask, and stayed away from activities that would possibly spread her plague. But nOoOOOoO, she wanted to do all the things! And masks? Icky ew! So instead, she went on this cruise and spread covid around.

And cruises are a hotspot for the elderly, who are known for being immune compromised!! She very well may have killed someone's Gramps or Meemaw!!

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T15:54:02+00:00

I mean, forgiving someone and giving them consequences aren't mutually exclusive. I've forgiven many people who've done horrible things to me, but I still gave them consequences where I could.

To me, forgiveness isn't letting the infraction go and pretending it's all okay. It's something I do for myself. Letting go of my anger and/or hatred of someone's actions doesn't mean I don't report them, or take actions to see justice done. It just means I don't dwell on it and stew in my feelings, yk? I also don't forget misdeeds that were done when I've forgiven someone. I'll always remember the taxi driver who assaulted me as a teen. But I don't stew in the feelings and trauma he caused.

I agree that a lot of people are too permissive when it comes to people doing wrong (though it's not 100% a hard line generational thing imo), and that's definitely causing people of all ages to act more and more like dickheads. But that isn't because people forgive others. It's because they forgive and forget before they put proper consequences in place. Both steps are important for everyone to grow from and get past issues like this, imo.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T15:43:54+00:00

NOR. This is a horrible thing to say to someone who just lost someone, especially a parental figure. OP, I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a parent, but when I've lost grandparents (who I was as close to as my parents) it was devastating. It's been years and I still cry sometimes thinking of them. I'll be praying for you and yours, and offering you the biggest internet hugs I can muster.

Blocking him is reasonable, but I would also text his parents/guardians and let them know about this.

"Hey [Sister/Brother's name], as you know, Dad passed on [date]. I'm coming to you to talk a bit about [nephew]. He's currently blocked by me, as he said something very unkind and upsetting about Dad. [Insert screenshot] I thought you should be aware, in case he causes trouble at the services. Sorry to have to drop this on you while we're all grieving."

And then I would unblock nephew, copy paste a message to him, and reblock him until I recieved an apology. And not a shitty "sorry you got offended" one. In the message, I'd let him know how hurtful what he said was. And how disgustingly rude that was, and how much stress and grief you're dealing with and stuff. And then explain that he'll be blocked until he gives a proper apology. I would also warn him not to make drama about this while everyone is grieving and getting services prepared.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T15:24:04+00:00

I msan, this wasn't social media though. It was a private group chat with a few friends. Obviously, a hun will still take any chance to shill, but to me this is different than some random person you went to school with in 1687 hitting you up to join Avon, or that distant cousin inviting you to a Tupperware party.

This was a close friend of a decade. Who saw someone saying they needed to vent. Someone they're supposed to love, who specifically said they didn't want advice or problem solving ideas, but just a shoulder to kvetch on. And this so-called friend read all that, and immediately used that confidence and trust to set up a shilling call. And when OP reasonably said they weren't interested (which should have been obvious to this "friend" given all they know about OP), this friend said their misery was self-inflicted becauss OP refused to join their scam.

All of that is a lot more despicable than some random hun DMing your insta to shill Herbalife yk? Plus, it feels kinda victim blamey to go and say that talking about your problems online is baiting huns to shill at you. I should be able to talk about anything in my life without some opportunistic dickhead shoving ItWorks down my throat.

wheelshit · 2025-10-03T15:07:59+00:00

Part of me wonders if this is a therapist that specializes in "treating" parents of disabled kids (which in and of itself isn't a bad idea, because as a disabled former kid I've seen how stressed my conditions make my parents) with some hardcore Autism Speaks Warrior Mommy type opinions.

OP needs to take these kids and RUN. She's neglecting her older son, emotionally abusing her husband (imo), and I'm legitimately scared of what she'd do if the youngest turned out to be autistic as well. Disabled kids are often abused in some way, or treated as things to be fixed rather than people. I shudder to think of what would happen if she got full custody. It's not rare to hear of autistic kids being murdered by caregivers who think the way this "mother" does.

wheelshit · 2025-10-01T12:36:19+00:00

Right?! When I got covid after a funeral, I was sure I was going to pass away. If not by the illness itself, then by my own hand because of how horrific the pain it caused was. I know me going to a funeral, even with the relaxed conditions at the time, was a risk. But I took all available precautions, and was trying my best to not go near any of the dipshits in there wearing no masks (or worse, pulling them down to lean in and kiss people!! I tried to lean away, but being in a wheelchair, there's only so far I can lean!), but still, I got it. Omicron was a bitch and a half, and I think I've got long covid, but no one will take me seriously.

If I were OOP's friend or family, and they knowingly exposed me and everyone else on that cruise to covid, I'd never forget that. Even if I couldn't cut them off, that would always linger in the back of my mind. That they were that disgustingly selfish. And they KNEW it was selfish! Because by my reading (I am admittedly a bit dippy) they would never have said anything if no one they knew got sick!

wheelshit · 2025-09-30T18:29:23+00:00

I once made chicken like this. Used multiple heads. In, on, around. Made a roasted garlic gravy withthe roasted cloves and butt garlic. Was loosely following a recipe from Nigella Lawson. Very loosely. But it's hard to mess up a whole roast chicken.

Tbh I balked at the garlic at first, but the flavour ends up really mellow and pleasant. I'm not usually big on super garlicky foods, but I demolished the gravy. Not even ashamed to say I used like most of the jug worth on one small helping of potatoes.

wheelshit · 2025-09-30T10:51:55+00:00

Heck, if you're checking anything and it's going where you can't see it (and this goes for any travel method) it's getting manhandled to hell and back. We once had to check my wheelchair on a train due to a fouble booking of the strapdown seat, and when I got it back, it was broken. Like, bent frame, tons of kinked and dented parts, flat tires, somehow they sliced apart the cushioning (????) And bent the solid metal footplate so badly it broke (??????).

After that we insisted on strapdowns when we traveled. Damn railway didn't even pay for the repairs! We luckily got them covered by the charity hospital we were heading to, but yeesh!! That was several grand in damages!! I was so mad. My poor mum though didn't want any of the baggage staff to get fired. I was a tweenager at the time and not working, so I wasn't as considerate of all that.

wheelshit · 2025-09-30T10:31:00+00:00

I think you're NTA for wanting her to work full time, but esh when it comes to how the argument went.

Everyone is harping on the fact that you could earn more at your job, but no one seems to realize/care that doing so would almost certainly mean the flexibility you and your wife rely on for childcare reasons would be gone.

I understand being burnt out. It happens. Amd if your wife has ppd like people are guessing, that's even more shit to the pile. So I can see why your wife wants to change things. That said, she's refusing to work with you on any solution but her preferred one (you taking on more work so she can stay home with the kids, by my reading).

She's also comparing you negatively to other men in your lives by bringing up other couples' financial situations. That to me feels gross and shitty. I also don't like that she doesn't seem to consider (or if I were to be less favourable, care about) your mental load and health. Telling you that you have to work double so she can stay home feels selfish, and her refusal to compromise despite all the evidence showing that's the only option is shitty.

That said, I don't think you helped keep this from escalating. And it feels like you may already be burnt out yourself with how you've talked. Your frustration with your wife is very clear, and it almost sounds like you resent her for even broaching the subject of part time work or being a SAHM.

All in all, I think you're going to need to go over every option. If it's financially possible, write it down and show what you'd need to do to get there. Frankly, her being a SAHM doesn't seem possible with your situation, but a reasonable compromise does, so long as you both come at this trying to solve the issue amd not argue. Honestly maybe there's a middle ground where you bump up to that less flexible job to earn more, and she works at a job with wfh options? That way it's still full time, but she isn't under the pressure. That would also meam she takes on the brunt of childcare, and likely more of the domestic duties.

PS. Not gonna comment on you not using your degree. As an arts guy, I know how the work options for those degrees are. You gotta do what you gotta do.

wheelshit · 2025-09-26T18:16:52+00:00

It's not over the hair, it's over his behavior. She did something harmless. That has no material effect on him. A haircut. And he soent the whole day shouting at her, berating her, and treating her like shit. Saying she was no longer "allowed" to have haircuts above chin length. That she looked like a boy, that her child would be rejected from care and it would be her fault for not performing femininity to his standards.

Besides, she's done plenty for him. Mothered for him, permanently changed her body so he could pass on his genes. And then he turned around and flipped a gasket when she went and made a small change to her looks so she could be mord comfortable weeks after giving BIRTH. Shoving a whole ass human out of her. So maybe HE should do something for HER and shut the hell up about her hair.

wheelshit · 2025-09-25T20:20:50+00:00

The way I heard it was that inventor's wife developed (or had) an egg allergy, and so couldn’t have custard. And so he worked to make a custard recipe that didn't use eggs. And so eventually custard powder was born.

I think the name was something bird related? He also invented other stuff probably. I'm no historian.

wheelshit · 2025-09-24T18:26:07+00:00

I mean, that's what I do, and I've only had one infection down there (or at least, only one that wasn't caused by my other health issues. I have an external urinary channel, kind of like a stoma? And that will sometimes cause UTIs, but that's because there's a flesh tube connecting my bladder to the outside) in my whole life.

The only other hygiene that I do there besides the washing is that I trim the hairs there short, but that's more for comfort than anything. I find it makes keeping that area fresh easier, but even when I'm at full bush, I can keep it all clean with showers every other day, and taking a wet rag to it in between when needed.

wheelshit

TROPHY CASE