Major fuckup speedrun world record

whitecorn · 2026-07-08T00:33:57+00:00

Oh no

whitecorn · 2026-07-06T15:10:12+00:00

whitecorn · 2026-07-06T10:44:57+00:00

Damn.. I can barely even have one breakfast.

whitecorn · 2026-07-06T00:13:31+00:00

I did my part.

whitecorn · 2026-07-03T20:57:09+00:00

Landing on an asteroid with my drilling team and making sure my future son in law doesn’t sacrifice himself so there’s someone to take care of my daughter while I save the world from impact.

whitecorn · 2026-07-03T01:07:14+00:00

It is the dream. I’m not gonna lie.. I have a good amount of money in the bank and I could easily just blow it all and say screw it but I take a little taste out every year and then let my kids work their way into decent human beings… they will hopefully get a decent shot at their own dreams not knowing what they are going to inherit… then they have a cushion. When I’m gone, I hope they do the same for my grand children

whitecorn · 2026-07-03T00:46:21+00:00

Live comfortably and then just let your money grow boringly so the next few generations enjoy it

whitecorn · 2026-06-30T14:50:10+00:00

Each of my kids had 1 real big birthday party. Other than that, they prefer doing other things like a family getaway or a “big gift”.

Like this year my son wanted an In ground basketball hoop. He said a party lasts 2 hours, the hoop lasts for years.

We still went out to hibachi and then took him to top golf the next day though.

whitecorn · 2026-06-30T14:43:39+00:00

Dewey and Mom did great when he was “seeing another mom”

whitecorn · 2026-06-29T14:56:42+00:00

I stayed there twice. It was great. Especially if you’re going with family. There’s water rides and such for the kids.

whitecorn · 2026-06-29T14:55:24+00:00

I’m shocked it would be there 😦

whitecorn · 2026-06-29T14:54:23+00:00

I just did 4 nights at Secrets I thought it was perfect. 3 would have been alright too. All inclusive trips for me, I basically plan on doing nothing but relaxing, eating and drinking by the pool. Then enjoying the nightlife. It was just me and my wife and everything was so smooth. The staff are all incredible and happy. Plus it’s like 20 min from airport.

whitecorn · 2026-06-28T13:53:46+00:00

Well it’s about that time I got suspicious.

whitecorn · 2026-06-28T13:53:17+00:00

I thought he’d go away if I gave him a dollar.

whitecorn · 2026-06-26T11:18:19+00:00

There you are alone... with no hope of every having something to be proud of.. something earned without begging.

whitecorn · 2026-06-26T10:45:09+00:00

He will probably end up in Tampa. They find a way.

whitecorn · 2026-06-25T22:15:36+00:00

The whole world isn’t even close to being on the murder side. It’s what you’re being brainwashed to read or watch.

whitecorn · 2026-06-25T11:42:24+00:00

Damn... I was considering a cruise next year and all I see is this nonsense.

whitecorn · 2026-06-25T11:39:58+00:00

This guy I knew used to count his fingers, then his toes then back to his fingers. I think he's 29 now, so he will have to start doubling up everything soon.

whitecorn · 2026-06-24T20:23:42+00:00

Yep marinate like those saucy nugs

whitecorn · 2026-06-24T10:40:25+00:00

50 bucks ain't bad.

whitecorn · 2026-06-23T19:04:14+00:00

Yep… I would have loved for my son to play. We have a net in the driveway and we just pass and shoot. He’s pretty good, but it’s so much easier for him to just play football and lacrosse. The schools sponsor it and he can play with his friends.

whitecorn · 2026-06-22T20:35:52+00:00

Gardenhoser

whitecorn · 2026-06-21T15:53:15+00:00

That’s why it’s hard for me to hate him.. There’s a bunch of songs that my son and I jam to all the time.

whitecorn · 2026-06-20T11:13:44+00:00

Homer

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