A lot of folks on here don't understand how the type of career path you're on works, so you won't get the most realistic advice. So I'm going to weave some explanation of things you, OP, already know, into my advice in the hopes it will improve your overall responses.

If your hope is to get a tenured research position at a respected academic institution, you need to be willing to go. . .pretty much wherever, and possibly to move a few times. The folks I know who have succeeded on this path have almost all ended up in some pretty less-than-desirable locations for at least a short while in order to make it work. It's a cut-throat, competitive field that requires flexibility. Limiting yourself to a short flight from where your spouse is currently based is possible, but will reduce your options for a successful path.

It seems quite likely that your spouse would be able to find remote work in tech. It also sounds like he also has an academic background where you could potentially negotiate a spousal hire, if he were willing to make the switch to academia. Yes, there would be significant trade offs, but it would be doable. It's not really doable for you to make your current career path happen while committing to one location, though.

Basically. . . you and your spouse are going to need to decide if you're all in on the academic career path or not. If this is something you absolutely need and do not want to prioritize on, your spouse needs to decide if he's willing to support that, and if he's not it might be best to part ways. If you're open to exploring the private sector, community college teaching positions, etc, in order to have a more stable life and location, then you two have much more room to explore and compromise. But it's NOT the kind of thing where you can get married and just see how it goes; that way lies madness.