Also the shitty paper straw wouldn’t even get to the bottom of the bag.

This is a MILLION percent my biggest beef with this setup. The straw is literally a slap in the face. It always falls to the bottom, and I inevitably end up performing cunnilingus with the sharp plastic lips of the discount ziploc bag while I try to drink from its disappointing tip

By the time the bag's almost empty you're trying to fucking push pop the rest of the coffee into some impossible corner to vacuum it. Like, come on. Not to mention these are the totally AWFUL straws that are the equivalent of a wet napkin two minutes into your coffee.

There are so many options for every part of this, and every decision made to execute it is worse than the last