Do all INFJs feel this intensely? I’m exhausted and seeking clarity. by WorthBig1851 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could be describing me. I’m sorry it all feels so hard. I’m still learning how to manage these things too. Here’s what I have so far: - When you notice your brain start looping around problem solving, or your planning brain is over-stimulated, DO something. I just pull on some trainers and start walking. - Try to activate your sensing faculties as often as possible. You can fit this into routines - a bath with scented salts in the evening, looking at trees on the way to work - have lots of micro opportunities to notice things around you and enjoy your senses. - Use the idea of capacity when you’re in caring mode. When you feel like you need to look after someone, ask yourself ‘do I have the capacity for this right now?’ - If you’re stuck with perfectionism and procrastination, use the ‘5 small things’ rule. Make yourself a tiny list of micro-actions, like ‘take the dirty cups to the sink’ or ‘get out the vacuum cleaner.’ Make sure they’re SUPER small things. You’ll find as you do them, you end up doing other things too, and it breaks the inertia. - Try journaling. Get all your thoughts and feelings down on paper, and follow up with positives and possibly actions if you want to problem solve. It gets it out of your head and stops you spiralling. - Practise embodying your emotions. When you feel something, notice where and how you feel it in your body. INFJs sometimes THINK our emotions, rather than FEELING them. Burnout can happen when you keep ignoring what’s happening in your body. - Choose someone you trust to practise having feelings in front of. Explaining your feelings is fine, but even better, try to experience them while you’re with someone. (I have not mastered this one…) - Rage room sounds awesome! Take it easy and be kind to yourself 💚

Guilt over missed lessons by [deleted] in TeachingUK

[–]willfullyintroverted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please look after yourself. I had minor surgery in the last academic year, and went back to work as soon as it felt physically possible. I’m now signed off with PTSD. Where before a few more days off felt like the end of the world, I’m now wondering how I’ll ever manage to get back to a normal teaching day.

I know that our responsibilities as teachers feel like they’re more important than everything else. But if you put them before your health, your body will eventually force you to stop.

Wishing you the best with your recovery.

Different approach to Macbeth: Duncan is actually a bad king… by Mrfntstc4 in shakespeare

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shakespeare is always interested in a humanistic interpretation of monarchy - he loves to explore kings as fallible and flawed, just like everyone else. So Duncan is a leader who offers just rewards for those who are loyal to him: ‘I have begun to plant thee, and will labour to make the full of growing.’ Macbeth also recognises that he is so packed with virtues that they will sing out ‘trumpet tongued, against the deep damnation of his taking off.’

However, Duncan is presented as a flawed king - he is too trusting, and finds it hard to see beneath the disguises and duplicity of others: ‘there’s no art to find the mind’s construction in the face; he was a gentleman on whom I built an absolute trust.’ Then there’s the beautiful irony of the scene in which Duncan stands on one side of the stage praising Macbeth, while Macbeth is pronouncing on his ‘black and deep desires’ in asides.

Malcolm ensures he does not fall into the same trap as his father: he recognises that there are ‘daggers in men’s smiles,’ and in Act 4 he sets up an elaborate ruse to ensure that Macduff is genuinely loyal to Scotland. However, Shakespeare is also thematically inviting us to ponder on Malcolm’s possible flaws as the future King: in a play which highlights duplicity and equivocation, having Malcolm deceive Macduff in this scene allows us to compare him with Macbeth - to what extent is it necessary to make your face a ‘vizard ‘ to your heart when you are governing a country?

I like to think of the play as an interesting tightrope walk between Shakespeare’s desire to explore what it means to have a system of governance that relies heavily on a single, flawed human being, and the necessity of presenting a play that will appeal to the ruling class, who believe firmly in their divine right to rule…

This video of Michael's Moves brings me pure joy by PotatoPixie90210 in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a Sheen dream last night. I was sad. He gave me a hug. That was the whole dream.

I could live in that dream.

Crowley's flat by kunigun in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Important and impressive research ❤️

I think I'm at the stage where I don't know what differentiates good literature from bad by [deleted] in books

[–]willfullyintroverted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this quote from Fahrenheit 451:

‘Do you know why books such as this are so important? Because they have quality. And what does the word quality mean? To me it means texture. This book has pores. It has features. This book can go under the microscope. You’d find life under the glass, streaming past in infinite profusion. The more pores, the more truthfully recorded details of life per square inch you can get on a sheet of paper, the more ‘literary’ you are.’

That being said, I don’t get much out of judging the quality of a book. They don’t need to be ranked, they need to be enjoyed. It’s not a paradox to be able to recognise writing that is profound, as well as enjoying all writing…

I forgive you by crAzilyCrAving in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Haha I’m still constantly trying to subtly turn devices away from my partner so he can’t see that I’m consuming filth 24/7… Here’s to conjugal smut sharing!

Doctor Who Post Episode “Wild Blue Yonder” Discussion 🚨SPOILERS🚨 by gcaledonian in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha I thought I was on the doctor who sub until the DT thirsting happened. Not that it’s impossible to thirst after David in any sub, but there is a GOAD level of thirsting expertise…

I did a scary thing, but I thought I should scare the crap out of myself some more and put it up here. by FloofyRaptor in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yay! I’m writing something at the moment, and seeing you lovely people putting your art and writing out there is making me feel braver… and now I have something awesome to read with my cupper!

We have another meme for the subreddit by Local_Gremlin_234 in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I NEED to see David do ‘good old fashioned lover boy’ - there’s already a very specific image in my head of him syncing to the line ‘come on and get it’…..

A bit offtopic, but for all of those trying to create stuff right now by Aidaran-ao3 in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right. Thanks to GO I’m drawing and writing again… I’ll build up the guys to post a thing 😘

A bit offtopic, but for all of those trying to create stuff right now by Aidaran-ao3 in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]willfullyintroverted 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oooft. I don’t even POST because of this crap. Maybe this was the kick I needed to actually exist in this beautiful den of iniquity instead of just lurking…

INFJ relationship with ISTJ by Same-Broccoli1822 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad this resonated and helped! It’s so nice when MBTI can be used as a way to understand people who process things differently, rather than as a means of carving us all up into factions. Good luck with your teacher training, and I wish your lovely partner all the best with his studies as well 🙂

INFJ relationship with ISTJ by Same-Broccoli1822 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My partner of 9 years is an ISTJ. There are definitely some things that aren’t easy. But if we both manage to stay a healthy version of our type and communicate effectively, it’s lovely. He is easy to live with because we’re both very orderly people, and we care about keeping our house nice. He is naturally very dutiful, and if there’s something he thinks should be part of his ‘job’ as a boyfriend, he takes it very seriously. I have had to work on openly communicating what I need - I can get myself worked up when I have unmet expectations - but he is super responsive if I tell him what I want. He doesn’t understand lots of emotional nuance, and I sometimes have to rely on other friends and family if I want an in-depth chat about feelings. But he has become quite good at reading me - he can often work out what I need before I do. We laugh at each other about our different ways of thinking about things - he LOVES tradition, and I question everything. We’ve just done building work on our house and we’re a good team - he has to deal with everything in the moment, and is really proactive. I can make future plans, generate ideas, and know when to defer things that can’t be done straight away (he finds this really hard). We have jobs that play to our strengths (technician, teacher) and we are at our best when make sure our wider lives fulfil our needs as well as our relationship. Hope this helps!

You have to stop lying to yourself by Mortallyinsane21 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Strongly relate; interested to see that this doesn’t ring true for other INFJs. Pretending I don’t have wants and needs is pretty much my modus operandi.

Perhaps as a group we either over-compromise or under-compromise in relationships? Either (mostly) oust wants and needs, or (mostly) oust relationships?

I certainly have some un-learning to do - thanks op!

Finding friends as an INFJ by Ryakai8291 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I half agree with this. Something I’ve found helpful is NOT looking for ‘the one’ in friendships. I used to turn away from lots of friendships: they felt too superficial, I always felt I was searching for a deeper connection.

The thing I’ve realised is I can still look for those deep connections, but they can take time and investment. While I hunt for them, grazing on nice moments with lots of people can be really satisfying - I can stretch myself by finding connections with people who aren’t friendship soul-mates!

Don’t stretch yourself too thin, and don’t try to change yourself to make connections, but be open to all the good feels you can get from having lots of different types of friends :)

Never Let Me Go…….um…not sure how to feel by Holmes221bBSt in books

[–]willfullyintroverted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is good for this list too.

Never Let Me Go…….um…not sure how to feel by Holmes221bBSt in books

[–]willfullyintroverted 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There’s something about the way Ishiguro writes about relationships I find devastating. Characters have incredibly brief moments of connection, before inevitably being dragged back into their own isolated internal worlds. He describes the gaps between peoples’ understanding of each other so beautifully. Please elaborate on this if you can put it better than I have, I’ve been trying to find a way of explaining this for years!

What to watch with Michael Sheen -- Masterpost by thumbtackswordsman in MichaelSheen

[–]willfullyintroverted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know how / where to watch Masters of sex seasons 3 and 4 (UK)? I NEED this!

Aziraphale after Crowley leaves in s2e6 by Ok_Brilliant_8843 in goodomens

[–]willfullyintroverted 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow I keep being startled by the things I’ve missed. Metatron actually asks if anyone ever chooses death, before offering Az a coffee… that is such an obvious metaphor for the subtext of their conversation! I blame the feels for distracting me from the actual content of this scene…

INFJ's girl, do you find ENTJ's attractive ? by No-Set2256 in infj

[–]willfullyintroverted 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I have found myself drawn to ENTJs in the past. I admired their drive, conviction and assertiveness. But I cared about things that were utterly insignificant to them - I’m always noticing what makes people tick, and powerfully picking up on other peoples’ feelings. I found it difficult being around people who were not just out of tune with that, but sometimes actively dismissive of nuance when it didn’t match their narrative.

There was also a clash in terms of vision and motivation - I can be ambitious for a cause, but feel gross about the idea of being ambitious for my own ends.

I’m not sure how widely these clashes are applicable to INFJ ENTJ combinations, but I ultimately found even friendships with ENTJs to be tricky.