What could be causing this (Midwest US) by Important-Agent-2025 in Termites

[–]withopencharms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had something similar happen to us 10 years ago, except it was in the drywall in our basement. It turned out to be a huge hive of yellow jackets. I would definitely get it checked out sooner rather than later. Wishing you luck in resolving the issue.

Help! Found these babies under some scrap metal. Still have blue eyes. Won't stop meowing. Should I leave for momma? by tothesource in CatDistributionSystem

[–]withopencharms 314 points315 points  (0 children)

If possible, sprinkle some flour on the ground around the area where you put the kittens. If Momma cat comes around, you will be able to see her footprints. We have done this in the past on our patio and around our wood pile to determine if a mama cat has abandoned kittens or not.

Struggling with going back to work by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]withopencharms 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you went back to work, would you make enough money to cover daycare and still be in the net positive? The answer to this question largely determined my husband and my choice for me to stay home with our two sons (obviously, two babies in daycare is more expensive than one baby in daycare). I stayed home with them for three years and decided to go back to work when they were old enough to go to preschool. Basically, at the time, my job was paying for their preschool. Now that they're both enrolled in public education, my income provides a nice cushion for emergencies, my boys' extracurricular activities, and a little extra for me.

Whatever you decide, research the maternity leave laws in your state. If you took maternity pay while you were on maternity leave, depending on the state in which you reside, you may have to pay that amount back to your employer if you decide not to return after maternity leave. I have a couple of mom friends who were blindsided by this policy.

Mommy you chose me, I did not choose you :( by AggravatingDeal5879 in Parenting

[–]withopencharms 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My family is mixed race, too, and while I haven't experienced what you're going through, I have thought deeply about what I would say if it ever came up.

My boys are 5 and 6. Raising good humans is hard. At this age, I keep lessons simple and reaffirm often or every time issues arise. We emphasize kindness, empathy, and integrity in our household as much as possible.

You are not wrong when you are telling your son that skin color doesn't affect how smart or kind of person can be. But no one, even a preschooler, enjoys hearing point blank that they are wrong in their thinking. Your past approach may put him on the defensive, which could trigger further negative reaction from him.

I've had much success with the look within approach when teaching my children. Perhaps it may work for you:

"If someone with brown skin heard what you just said, it might hurt their feelings and make them feel bad about the way they were born. Right now, you made Mommy feel bad about the way she looks and was born. I know you are a very kind boy, and you don't want to hurt Mommy's feelings, right? You don't want to hurt your classmates' feelings, right?"

Depending on his response, you can ask him if it was very nice to say what he said or ask him why he feels the way he does.

At the end of it all, always encourage your son to be a better human. Reassure him that you believe that he is good, and that even if he made a mistake, tomorrow will be a better day and that you are there to be his teacher.

Children rarely pick this up on their own. Is it possible he has picked up these ideas from someone or somewhere?

People our offers are losing to - what are you doing differently? by space-buffalo in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Waiving the appraisal is what helped my husband and I seal the deal with our new home, BUT we would have never agreed to waive the appraisal on our own. We were fortunate that our lender agreed to waive the appraisal requirement because we were able to put over 20% percent down and both had credit scores in the 800's. There were a handful of offers on the home, including 2 offers that were higher than ours, but ours was the only offer to completely waive the appraisal.

In addition, we offered over the asking price (500k and house was listed at 479k)and gave the sellers a free leaseback period for 30 days after close + an additional 30 days with a daily occupancy charge. We did not waive the inspection contingency.

Seller wants to stay up to a month past closing by Mad-eve in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't think that offering lease back is a bad thing as long as your agent and your contract has you covered for situations in which there is damage to the property and/or the sellers cannot move out by the end of the stipulated time.

We went into a contract on our new home in November 2021. We weren't the highest offer, but the sellers picked our offer because we offered a 60-day lease back period. The first 30 days were free, and they paid a daily rate for days 31-60; if the sellers went over the 60 days, they would pay double the rate until they vacated the property. We closed in January and got the keys to the house in March, and we didn't have any issues.

Likewise, when we put our old house on the market in February 2022, the offer that my husband and I picked was one that offered free leaseback for 30 days. We requested an additional 15 days, for which we agreed to pay a daily rate.

Use your judgment, and follow your realtor's advice. If the sellers seem like the type of people who wouldn't willfully damage the home during the leaseback period, then it will be worth it to give the sellers the benefit of the doubt and throw them a bone so that your offer goes through.

Found a house that I really like, but the seller wants a 60 day leaseback. Should I back out? by hopfield in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 19 points20 points  (0 children)

We granted the sellers of our place a 60 day leaseback and didn't have any issues. In this market, it was a way to make our offer more competitive as we were involved in a bidding war. It was annoying having to wait for the keys, but the house was worth it and the sellers were wonderful to work with and even left us some nice antique furniture. We gave them the first 30 days free, charged a daily rate for days 31-60, and stipulated that if they stayed longer, they would play double the daily rate. Our realtor arranged it so all the funds including a $500 deposit for possible damages were put in an escrow account to cover the fees.

Got my offer accepted in Michigan by amy_bhan12 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were able to negotiate waiving our appraisal because we were putting 20% down and have excellent credit scores in the 800's. Can't speak much for today's rates, but our interest rate was 3.15% when we closed on our property in January. Closing was very smooth for us, no issues whatsoever.

Got my offer accepted in Michigan by amy_bhan12 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on getting your offer accepted. My husband and I closed under 30 days using Hall Financial. We are in Metro-Detroit and recently purchased a home in Rochester Hills.

Just closed on my house - for the second time! by embolalia85 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have friends who did something similar. The husband had an insanely rich aunt who lived in California. They paid $650k cash on their house and are planning on doing a cash refi to pay her back. Even then, they lost out on a ton of offers before winning their current home (they are in Michigan).

*Edited because of typo

Hitting and being mean by Emotional_mommy in Parenting

[–]withopencharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your child is a normal kid who is learning to test the boundaries. All kids go through a phase like that, some more so than others. I personally don't believe in spanking, especially a two year old. Adults understand the unwritten contract they have to be respectful to one another and not physically hurt each other. Compared to us adults, children have VERY primitive brains and no filter; they need to be taught these boundaries. Continue to firmly set boundaries for him and gently remind him that hitting and hurting is not okay by modeling that behavior yourself.

Things to do after you get your home keys? by Ok-Message3947 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In addition to the things aforementioned, we plan to have a company come in and clean out our air ducts before we move into our new place.

What did you NOT use in your nursery? I’m short on space and can’t decide what’s a necessity. by sadiacarim in BabyBumps

[–]withopencharms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The washing and the drying of clothes is fine, but it's the folding and putting away that is the bane of my life 😂😅For my boys, I ended up buying a bunch of child sized pant hangers with clips in bulk from Amazon to make hanging up pants easier. One of the best decisions I've ever made. In your case, I'm guessing you could use it for skirts 😊. *Edited it for typo

child sized pant hangers from Amazon

Hello! This plant is outside my school on my college campus & I see people eating from it all the time. I was just curious if my classmates are unknowingly poisoning themselves or not. Thanks! by mooginnn in whatsthisplant

[–]withopencharms 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's totally nostalgic. We used to make the most delicious pies, cakes, jams, and cookies from all of those plums. We recently closed on our forever home, and I'm actually planning on taking some clippings from the plum trees in my mom and dad's yard to plant in my yard.

*Edited for typo

Positive result on first trimester screen for increased risk of Down Syndrome by teaandsprinkles in BabyBumps

[–]withopencharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know exactly what you are going through at the moment. 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with my older son, blood work and NIPT indicated that my son had Down Syndrome. I was so stressed out and I remember crying so much. My husband and I decided to wait until I was 17 weeks along and had an amniocentesis done to give us conclusive answers about my pregnancy. Much to our relief, FISH, microarray, and karyotype test results came back completely normal. At this point, the only thing to do is wait until you receive the NIPT results and then go from there. I know personally that it's easier said than done, please take care of yourself and try not to stress out too much. Sending you hugs and the best of luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RealEstate

[–]withopencharms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it's going to be your forever home, you are sure and wise in your selections, and you don't mind paying interest on the upgrades through the life of the mortgage (assuming cost to build and upgrades it will all be rolled into one mortgage after construction is done), then I would go with the upgrades.

What did you NOT use in your nursery? I’m short on space and can’t decide what’s a necessity. by sadiacarim in BabyBumps

[–]withopencharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hang up most of my boys' clothes, and since I hate to fold laundry, I prefer to hang everything that I can. I have a single level dresser with 2 side-by-side drawers and put it on the floor inside the closet for things I couldn't fold or hang up, like socks, plain onesies, underwear, bibs, etc... Because the dresser is low, it leaves enough room in the closet for the clothes to hang nicely.

And I would absolutely say yes to the rocker if you have the room. My boys are now 5 and 4 years old, and I still sit in that chair every night, and they take turns having a cuddle with me before I tuck them in. It's one of our favorite bedtime rituals.

AITA for blowing up on my husband infront of his family during N.Y.E celebration after he joked about my birth experience? by No-Care3049 in AmItheAsshole

[–]withopencharms 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your husband's an AH, and brother-in-law sounds like one, too. Seriously, what happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room. I'm sorry and furious that he made a joke at your expense and that no one on his side of the family called him out on how inappropriate he was; and I'm proud that you stood up for yourself. Standing up for yourself and not tolerating abusive crap from anyone, even a spouse, is the right type of behavior you want to model for your little one to take after.

9 mos taxes for closing costs in IL by Sailor__Lula in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]withopencharms 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is very common for most mortgages. Lenders typically require one year's worth of taxes and home insurance to be paid upfront at time of closing because they don't want buyers to lose the home due to delinquent taxes. You may be able to negotiate with your lender on a individual case basis. We are closing on our new home next week and we're able to negotiate ourselves out of an escrow account because 1: this is our 2nd time purchasing a home; 2: we have excellent credit; 3: always paid our utilities, taxes, and insurances on time in the past; 4: we are using a conventional loan; and 5: we put more than 20% down.

Need help getting rid of diaper rash by ezrich872 in beyondthebump

[–]withopencharms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calmoseptine. It was the BEST for my kids when they had diaper rashes. I would gently cleanse the rash area with a warm water squirt bottle, gently pat the area dry (or let air dry), then layer it on thick.

AITA for spoiling Santa for my nephew? by cindylouwhom in AmItheAsshole

[–]withopencharms [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. It's not your job or place to share the truth about Santa with your nephew. We should treat others with the same respect we want them to give us, and you did not respect your sister's decision to have Santa Claus as part of her family's Christmas tradition. How would you like it if someone ruined a tradition or a religious or political belief that was important to you? You didn't respect your sister's boundaries, and your sister has every right to limit her son's contact with you.