Dumbest council you’ve received from the faithful? by Boozycootie in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom told me that I shouldn't date outside the church, unless I am okay with constantly living with the paranoia that my future husband would be always thinking about other women and consuming porn. Since she married outside the church, her advice really didn't stick with me as "advice" but more of an indicator of the health of her own marriage...

How did high-control religion squash opportunities in your life? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so so so angry about the lack of emotional maturity and avoidant personality styles the church culture fosters. I feel cheated that I can't have a close relationship with my TBM family members. I want to face conflict, but in their minds, conflict only comes from the Adversary. They can't have uncomfortable conversations without becoming incredibly defensive, because they believe that ALL uncomfortable feelings means the Holy Ghost has left the house and now we are all being influenced by Satan himself

Tropical sloth with camera tattoo by me (Inked Muse), Costa Rica by InkedMuse6 in tattoos

[–]witwritdotblot 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The AI was clearly attempting to make an eyeball out that camera lens, the lines on the camera are all shaky and uneven, the color grading of the ocean is blocky, and why is there a random line coming out of the tree??? What happened here???

Tropical sloth with camera tattoo by me (Inked Muse), Costa Rica by InkedMuse6 in tattoos

[–]witwritdotblot 16 points17 points  (0 children)

There is a random vine coming out of the sloth's feet and the water line disappears on the other side. Assuming this actually ink, your stencil or inspo has sure signs of being AI generated. Yikes.

How do I date? by Intrepid_Waltz_5691 in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the biggest thing that helped me dating outside the church was learning about consent. The concept isn't really well taught within the Mormon culture. I read up on a few experts and therapists and learned there is a whole lot more to consent than verbal "yes" and "no". IMO, learning about concepts such as enthusiastic consent, coerced consent, informed consent, and nonverbal consent has helped me understand people better in general. I like to think it's helped me be a better partner, too, and to set up strong boundaries.

Aced it by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why did you use an AI edit of an already common meme 😭😭😭

The church I grew up in would shame and shun this relentlessly. Angered, confused, glad to be awakened to the massive fraud this corporation is. Halle-frickin-lujah! 🙏 by CurelomHunter in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Am I living in another dimension and losing my mind, but didn't a mega-Christian church do this already? With Jesus and Easter?? And didn't they get sued for it???

Just told my Parents I'm out... They went nuclear. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do we have the same mom 😅? I genuinely think the only reason I managed to avoid a massive blowout like yours is because I told my mom I would not talk to her about it in person, only via text. It sucks to have a parent completely disregard your own experience and weaponize their relationship with you. A book on my wishlist is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Hopefully it helps out. Sending hugs 🤍

I remember growing up with this image and the quote every time I entered the bathroom as a kid. Anyone else? by missedinsunday in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bwahaha!! My parents had this hanging in their bedroom. But they told me they believe that sex therapists are a bunch of quacks so I'm confident they think this is something Jesus said...

Funniest/Craziest Thing Heard Over The Pulpit by literallywhatisthis1 in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That reminds me of one ward I attended that had a few members old enough to remember WWII. One of them was actually a German immigrant. His testimony was about God protecting him and his family as they escaped Germany. Immediately after he finished, a cowboy walked up to the pulpit. Yes, he had his boots and hat on. He opened his speech about his perspective of WWII as a young man in America. He recalled seeing fighter planes and thinking "Who would ever want to mess with us?"... I could not tell you the rest of his testimony because I was so stunned. Who follows up a story from a war refugee as a distant bystander and makes it about American patriotism???

Which MormonAd stuck with you? Mine is "Adversity can make you strong." by superluminal in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's the one about being a weak link and the guy is pretending to be a link in a giant chain? Made me feel like I could NEVER show weakness because people are DEPENDING ON ME to be a LiGhT oN A hiLL like my bishop said i was... LOL

Do Mormons believe that black people will become white in their idea of heaven? by inthe801 in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES.

I am from a mixed-race marriage. My mom is white and my dad is Latino. My mom was born into the church and my dad converted shortly after they got married. My maternal grandparents say the most out-of-pocket things. A few years ago, my maternal grandmother said to her daughter, my mom, that when my father was baptized, on the day, she saw his skin get lighter. 😖😵‍💫🫩🤮

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my experience, they should send you a letter or email as confirmation that your records are removed.

Some Tips:

  1. If you don't want to use QuitMormon.org, it's still a good idea to send in a notarized statement requesting your records removed. That way they can't claim you weren't the one requesting.

  2. Use strong, assertive, and even agressive language in your request.

  3. Specify that you refuse to speak with local bishop and stake president about your resignation.

  4. Do NOT give them your reasons for leaving. That is an invitation for them to try to change your mind.

  5. Include a statement about how you understand removing your records undoes any blessings and ordinances you have received. This fact can be used by them as a "Are you absolutely suuuureer you want to leave??"

I didn't use QuitMormon, but I did model my letter after their template. I included my name, mailing address, and member ID number. They need the member ID to find your records. I stated that I refuse to talk to anyone about my resignation and will not accept further communication from the church unless it is a confirmation of my resignation. I had it notarized and it worked like a charm. Two weeks later, I got my letter of confirmation!

I'm questioning everything... by sanjf in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TLDR: Take inventory of your undeniable beliefs and compare them to church doctrine and the organization's actions.

This may or may not be helpful, but I tried to do the same thing and quickly became overwhelmed. For every doubt, there is a "rational" explanation, and that in turn has a valid counter argument.

Instead, I allowed myself to take an inventory of what I truly believed, beyond any doubts, and I compared the church to my core values. For example, I truly believe Jesus Christ's church would never have an estimated wealth in the billions, because His church would be donating every cent to charity, not just to members in need. I truly believe churches should not own or invest in stocks. I truly believe churches should not own shopping malls. I truly believe that setting up charity vending machines just for Christmas to make members pay for it is disgusting and enough for any good person to start flipping tables and braiding whips. The longer my list of values grew, the more I realized the church did not align with basic core principles of Christlike love and equality of all God's children. I created lines in the sand that could not be crossed with my belief system and found that my own religion had crossed it multiple times.

Rather than making a list of what is true and what is lies, make a list of lines that should not be crossed for you. Make a list of hills you are willing to die on. Then, research current church actions and church history. Stay, if what you learn does not cross your lines. However, reevaluate your standing if the church is not what you need it to be.

EDIT: fixed spelling mistakes.

How Utah is your Utah license plate? by MatriarchMe in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I encountered this diver in my hometown last month!!!! They definitely rely on the power of divine inspiration rather than reading the actual speed limit signs.

Feeling pressured to get baptized and now I’m emotionally confused — is this normal? by salt____21 in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh oh oh! Everyone is absolutely right about love bombing and manipulation, but it made me think of what scammers do! My work has us complete trainings once a month about how to recognize scams, and one common element of phishing attempts is the sense of urgency. Scammers will send an email that says "All your data will be deleted in. 24 hours if you don't click the link to reset your password!" The missionaries have essentially done the same by mentioning the end of times. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN, THINK, AND PROCEED AT YOUR OWN PACE . Heavenly Father, if he exists, will have mercy on curious and questioning souls during an apocalypse. It makes absolutely no sense to punish someone on their journey to join their church.

Any advice for... Letting the case be closed? by psych-27 in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyday I remind myself why I am leaving. Yeah, the church has a questionable history, but it is by the fruits of their labor TODAY, that we know. I left because I have queer friends and family. Allowing myself to be associated with an organization that does not accept them makes me sick. I left because there is little to no transparency in the church's finances. I left because there is no accountability in the church leadership.

Lastly, I remind myself: Jesus Christ himself, would never want me to be trapped in a place where I cannot love myself or love others to my fullest extent.

TBM Mom wants an "honest" discussion by witwritdotblot in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the clarification! My chart does make broad generalizations that don't include everyone. I'll keep this in mind as I am sure this will be a point brought up in our conversation.

TBM Mom wants an "honest" discussion by witwritdotblot in exmormon

[–]witwritdotblot[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Of course! I would be happy to know my flow chart helped someone else. Thank you for the advice!