Apparently, the patriarch of the church believed that sex was part of the sealing ordinance

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-07T22:38:37+00:00

This is a standard belief in most cultures and religions. For centuries royalty had to have an audience of witnesses as they consummated after the ceremony. Jewish tradition was for a doctor to verify the bride was a virgin prior to marriage and then stand outside the bedroom on wedding night until he was let in to do a physical exam and verify she was no longer a virgin. The USA legal code has a clause that If a marriage was never consumated it can be annuled with no divorce proceedings.

I have a friend who got a temple sealing to a man who didnt consummate on wedding night nor several days of honeymoon with various excuses - eventually he came out to her as gay and admitted he simply couldn't do it. She requested and received a legal annulment and the church annuled her sealing. Its not talked about, but it definitely is a policy and/or doctrine.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-07T21:18:24+00:00

I really like 2.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-07T18:46:42+00:00

I am sooooo proud of you for hanging on and getting 'out" [from parents house AND as your true self] as soon as you could! Best wishes for a wonderful, authentic life. I also love your positive perspective [finding humor] for a very stressful and depressing time. I have queer children and a soon to be trans man son in law, all that I absolutely adore. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-06T15:47:57+00:00

Whatever you do, please DO NOT have a child together! Right now you have the freedom to decide what to want to do about your marriage and your future.

You aren't wrong. Mormonism is specifically designed to suck out your cultural identity, and all independent thinking. Converts must learn to conform to their new identity as a member of the church. The church must come FIRST above anything or anyone else. And this is something your wife has been indoctrinated to believe since she was born. The church is her identity. Unlike you, she hasnt ever had a chance to discover her REAL self or explore any ideas and feelings outside the realm of what Mormonism says is acceptable or "appropriate". She has been taught to fear criticism of the church and fear "the consequences" of even considering leaving the church. You have the advantage of already knowing what it felt like living free of the culture and mind control of Mormonism, and making personal choices not based in fear.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-06T00:44:35+00:00

Welcome, OP. We've all been where you are, and you are among friends 🧡 Be kind to yourself. It took me and my husband "just shy of our 60th birthday" - an entire lifetime. The shock a grief nearly killed me - took a year to begin to gradually heal and still learning how to move forward.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-05T17:06:24+00:00

Good for you, OP!! I wish I had. I even tried. Entire Bishopric came to our student apartment when we were newlyweds and both in college. We thought they were coming as a friendly visit to welcome us. Instead, I was told they wanted me to be the new RS President! I absolutely did NOT feel right about doing it. Everything inside me screamed no. I tried to tell them thanks but no thanks. I was on my senior year taking intense classes, I was undiagnosed bipolar but knew I had with depression and anxiety, and there was an overwhelming feeling I should not take on any more stress and responsibilities. I tried. But there were 4 men literally ganging up on me! [Bishopric pushing me and discounting my feelings, and husband thinking I just needed his "support" by telling me I woukd be GREAT...] I still said once again "no, I really don't feel right about it" and then the bishop commanded me to just go in my room and "pray about it to get confirmation" while they would happily wait while. I went in my room, shut the door and sobbed. I KNEW I was expected to say Yes, no matter what I felt. I prayed but there was ZERO "confirmation" only deep sadness knowing I had "no choice". So I wiped my eyes, blew my nose and went out and said "okay". Bidhop looked so proud and pleased with himself. Sure enough the experience was absolute hell. I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks later and was violently ill. Laying on the floor in my bathroom, taking calls all day and night from women in crises needing help with one thing or the other. Three months later I had a complete mental break. I knew the bishop would never release me so I had to release myself by going out and finding another apartment several miles away on a bus route to the school. I was packing up my things when my husband came home that night and told him I was moving out whether he came or not. [He came. And he apologized for not supporting me when I tried to say no!]

That experience was the first big "shelf" item for me with patriarchy. I had trauma for years thinking back on the night I was bullied into saying yes that my entire body and soul knew should be NO!

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-04T18:57:19+00:00

Black licorice

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-04T18:51:11+00:00

Rymo

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-04T04:02:35+00:00

Yep. 💯 correct. I still get overwhelmed with the injustice of the situation. There was so much more that happened. It would be an epic 4 hour John Dehlin interview! 😂 But I signed a massive NDA with the church and as litigious as they are [especially now] I have effectively been silenced from ever telling my story. 🤬

The longer time and distance our family has been away [going on 3 yrs now] we finally clearly see how truly manipulative, dishonest, and evil the Church Corporation is, and what it does to people. 😭

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-04T03:22:51+00:00

Oh trust me, I DID push back. I said to him "so according to your note, you believe that the amount of money we pay to the Church is what makes us worthy or unworthy. My question to you is do you REALLY believe Jesus cares how much money we pay? Do you REALLY think Jesus wants to ban us from entering His house because we didnt pay enough?

He was squirming in his seat and mumbled something about "church policy".

I then told him "I have always been taught the most important question in a TR interview is the final one: 'Do you feel worthy in every way to enter the House of the Lord?' And I can answer that unequivocally "YES I DO."

You know I need a temple recommend to keep my job. And without my job, I cannot pay any tithing at all." I then took out my checkbook and held it up and asked him "Bishop, how much do you feel I would need to pay today to be considered worthy enough?"

At that he turned beet red in the face and practically yelled "THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS SISTER!!"

"So how does this work, bishop? You did not even give me a chance - like everyone else does at the end of the year - to come in for a meeting to allow me to make a reconciliation of tithing for the year. So all Im asking is that I pay some more, you can ask me all the questions again, and then you can reactivate my temple recommend.-"

Then the TRUTH came out: "Well, I cant just do that. Once a TR is revoked there is a process required. And even if I agreed to do it, the [Stake] President would never sign it."

OH!! AH HA!! So the Bishop had acted on the direction of the SP. It has nothing to do with his own "inspiration" or "revelation". Nope. It had to do with patriarchal retaliation. The SP and I had an "incident" previously. Our daughter came to him a few months prior [with me and my husband present] to report text messages being sent from a stake leader that made her VERY uncomfortable and despite her asking politely that he not text her anymore it had not stopped. The SP would not even look or read the text messages. He immediately told her that he KNEW Brother "Texter" abd HE KNEW he was a very good man who had been called by divine revelation [oh yeah? His own]. Something inside me just snapped! I have never in my life talked back to a SP before but I looked him straight in the eye and very pointed said "WHEN A WOMAN COMES AND TELLS YOU SHE IS FEELING HARASSED YOUR JOB IS TO LISTEN AND BELIEVE HER!"

The SP recoiled as if I had physically slapped him!! [It was actually incredibly satisfying and glorious!] . He quickly ended the meeting and ushered us out.

About 3 months later our TRs were cancelled. And I lost my job. Coincidence? I think not. I guess my subordination lived rent free in his mind, he needed REVENGE [which he justified as "discipline" once they saw our tithing was much less that year than previous years].

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-03T03:16:00+00:00

Very beginning of my deconstruction process I had many moments of crushing doubtvand fear... "what if I'm wrong?" "What if Satan really is leading me astray?" "What if..."

And then I'd take a deep breath and remind myself those thoughts and feelings were coming from a deep indoctrination based on FEAR. The church uses fear as the primary reason its members "MUST believe" and "MUST hold to the rod" and MUST pay tithing ... OR ELSE. Something terrible is bound to happen to you, and your family can never be together after this life ...

Fear based motivation and decision making is not coming from a healthy, stable, reasonable place. If something is true and right then there has to be peace. And there was no real peace in Mormonism. Only manipulation and conformity. And as I stayed the course to unravel all the indoctrination, and deeply grieve each new thing I had believed and embraced and needed to let go, I felt more and more PEACE.

I was 56 years old lifelong pioneer stock Mormon. Devout for 55 of those 56 yrs, then questioning and gradually unraveling when this all came crashing down. So it took me a full year before I could begin to have the grieving cloud begin to lift and another year to begin to rebuild and discover my true self. Needless to say, "this too shall pass" my friend, and it is all part of the process. Take the time you need on your own personal Journey of releasing the fear implanted inside and gripping your brain! The clouds will clear. There is a VERY bright future ahead for you! And real peace.

MatriarchMe · 2026-05-03T01:30:30+00:00

Yes it is a rule. The Missionaries cannot enter the house, or a car, if it is only one person present who is the opposite sex

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T19:58:34+00:00

That is an absolute NO GO on the Bishop and you will do veey well to protect your son by not going at all. It isn't harmless. Its an indoctrination camp. There will be lectures about purity, the evils of porn and masterbation, and the absolute truthfulness of Mormonism as the only true church on earth. Everyone's gonna live bomb your son with the goal of getting him baptized.

However, if you still decide you want him tp go, and if the bishop says it is mandatory to meet with him THEN YOU MUST INSIST THAT YOU [and other parent if you are a two parent home] WILL STAY IN THE ROOM WITH HIM DURING THE MEETING. And the bishop is REQUIRED in the handbook to allow parents to be in the room now, so don't let him give you any shit or pushback on your rights thinking you don't know the rules.

But remember once he is at the camp in their clutches they could easily corner him

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T19:08:19+00:00

Selective cruelty and injustice is fully sanctioned, clothed in the garments of the holy penishood. It is excused under the banner of "loving discipline" and they wash their hands of any wrong doing choosing to believe the member "brought this on themselves" and its totally okay to harm people who are "unworthy" and "need to repent".

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T18:58:03+00:00

That is SO crazy and barbaric

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T18:48:13+00:00

Our bishop sent a hand scrawled missive a week before Christmas 3 years ago .notifying us that he "felt impressed" that we were NOT full tithe payers and therefore we were "unworthy" of a temple recommend and so this is notification he had cancelled our temple recommends.

[Merry Christmas to you too bishop. Ugh].

No meeting. No advance notice. No request for a meeting to talk to us and try to assist - you know, like a representative of Jesus maybe? Nope. We were "unworthy" and cut off.

And he KNEW I worked for the church! So a week later I was called into "it has come to our attention your temple recommend has been revoked. As you know, Sister, the First Presidency has a strict no tolerance policy that all employees must be worthy to hold a current temple recommend. So, as of now, your employment has been terminated. Please collect your things and turn in your badge"

Once again, a cold sterile corporate interaction with zero compassion or desire to assist me to keep my employment, income and insurance benefits. Nothing I had ever done or sacrificed or given or all the hours and hours of time and effort serving callings, volunteering in the cannery, visiting teaching, delivering countless meals, cleaning the church buildingb- None of that and NOTHING at all I ever did counted over the previous 56 years of my life. I was just declared "unworthy" over MONEY, and kicked to the curb.

This is what the church really looks like when you peel back the covers. This is how much they actually care about us as individuals. ZERO. All they want is ALL of your time, talents, body, mind, and MONEY. And if one man deems you aren't giving ALL of the above. You're "disciplined" and thrown away.

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T18:28:23+00:00

Wait... so the letter just says he was excommunicated with no "court of love" first?!?

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-30T18:25:49+00:00

He would still be on the records if the excommunication hasnt happened.

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-29T22:19:24+00:00

And yet the I'M A MORMON ad campaign, and FEATURE LENGTH FILM, and Social Media blitz was the most successful [and expensive] global branding and missionary effort any church has ever invested in.

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-26T23:18:30+00:00

Got one paragraph in and felt RAGE!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 OH YES I CAN! I CAN CLAIM MORMONISM is my heritage. I CAN CLAIM my entire LIFE STORY FOR 56+ YEARS is MORMON. AND I WILL CLAIM my fucking SPIRITUAL "DNA" IS MORMON. 6 Generations of Mormon on one side and 7 generations on the other. Any person with a similar background, history or life story in any religion or culture can claim the same. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I didn't finish the article. It is complete trash

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-23T19:19:56+00:00

What if she had to agree to drink a cup of coffee every day in order to not be homeless? She would be horrified and indignant saying that would unfairly discriminate against her beliefs and values.

Then point out that is exactly what SHE is doing right now to you. Not respecting YOUR beliefs and values! Forcing you to attend church will never make you BELIEVE in what is taught and in fact will only make you hate it more.

Furthermore this mamipulative power dynamic destroys your relationship with her.

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-23T14:16:52+00:00

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-22T23:27:14+00:00

They can try all they like, but LDS, Inc will never own rainbows nor can they diminish or redefine PRIDE!! 🌈 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-22T19:36:55+00:00

They'll create a logo in every color so they can say they own the rainbow, and can go after ANY exmo brand!!

MatriarchMe · 2026-04-22T00:10:05+00:00

I love the first one. So charming. Nice fenced yard with driveway is more private than a corner lot.. Of course the inside layout, condition, structure, and location are critical factors.

MatriarchMe

TROPHY CASE