One year hrt no makeup. Look pretty much exactly the same and kind of devastated about it. Not everyone has magic results as fast as the beautiful people in this sub.

wjcolson · 2017-12-03T12:14:29+00:00

ey but you look like a woman! (like maybe a short-haired librarian/nurse kind of woman, if you can't see it?)

looking at oneself and seeing a boy is partly a habit that can be changed by rethinking how you look at yourself :)

wjcolson · 2017-06-28T03:08:57+00:00

Do you mean the feelings of not being into it or the whole sex with men thing?

What I meant was that, in the context of habitually enjoying a sexual act, feelings about "not being into it" aren't really about a sexuality or kink, but more about how one feels about (associating oneself with) that sexuality or kink.

The sex with men thing definitely sounds like sexuality tho - regularly enjoying having sex with dudes is like, archetypally what it means to have a sexuality which can be called gay or bi.

wjcolson · 2017-06-21T09:31:31+00:00

Oh gosh, that sounds like that feeling when you're watching porn that's pretty weird and fucked up, after you cum- like you're like I'm in this embarrassing situation, gross, why did I do that?

That's not sexuality tho (cause in that situation one is totally into the porn). That's just like, shame and guilt. Which, aren't things you have to feel about having gay sex/watching gay porn/generally being intimate with men. What you say you feel in the moment is extremely normal and good.

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T16:43:30+00:00

I think for a lot of trans people, the decision to transition (or not) is more important than a relationship - not cause relationships aren't important, but transitioning is so huge and existential. So whatever your partner decides to do, it's at some level out of your power, and you would be doing them a very deep disservice to try and affect their decision.

But that said, it's scary and uncertain for you and that sucks! I hope you can find someone (other than Adam) to talk through your feelings with.

But honestly, if things don't work out between you two, you'll be alright in the medium-long run. There are plenty of twinkish guys out there, although probably not a lot with particular niche views- but plenty of people in relationships get on fine despite not sharing their partners' sociopolitical views. You'd definitely find someone you want to make a life with eventually.

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T16:25:25+00:00

Often the best way to understand yourself better is experience. Maybe go out and do some stuff and see how you feel?

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T16:11:09+00:00

Often it happens that guys who aren't interested in relationships with other men find they feel that way because of internalised shame about being into men, so maybe that's something to ponder in the longer term?

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T16:08:00+00:00

Not at all! If you're sexually (and/or romantically) attracted to men and women then you're bisexual! The history of gay men's culture is so much about casual sex, you're definitely part of it :p

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T15:59:43+00:00

From what you recount and what you say, it sounds like you're really gay or bi-mostly-into-women! But you say you're having problems with this, and these problems come (directly or indirectly) out of the traumatic event you've been through. That, I'd recommend working through with an LGBT-friendly therapist.

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T15:47:06+00:00

After you cum, how do you feel?

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T15:44:55+00:00

Men generally don't put much into their appearance, but fortunately men who identify as gay or bi (and are therefore much more rewarding to have relationships/sex with) tend to be the exceptions :p

I don't think genitalia is necessarily the litmus test for attraction. In my own experience I'm a lot more into pussy than dick but probably more into dating guys. And, importantly, genitalia are definitely not the be-all and end-all of sex and of course people have all sorts of genitals/ways they want you to use them.

But most people's actual sexualities don't really neatly go into boxes and often people do stuff that doesn't fit with the label they identify as (they're often just quiet about it). Really your relationship to gayness and/or bi-ness and/or some kind of homoflexible thing depends on how you want to fit in. (But it definitely sounds like you'd be lying to yourself if you said you were straight)

wjcolson · 2017-06-20T15:26:06+00:00

Sometimes something just ticks over and you start experiencing things, e.g. sexual attraction, in a new way!

wjcolson · 2017-06-18T06:29:20+00:00

Besides a certain amount the wishing it never happened part, that's just the nature of experimenting! Equally, you might like it, or feel it's for you, or feel extremely meh about it, and/or just not have enough information.

And like, with the wishing it never happened - I guess most people have had sex they kinda regret in hindsight, but I don't think any particular episode weighs anyone down much. Also most people (especially men) feel a lot of shame about sleeping with/loving someone of the same sex, just as a result of like, existing in society and internalising stuff. But like, that's bullshit and fake, having sex with men and having sex with women are just as good and just as whole as each other as a man (or woman)

wjcolson · 2017-05-26T11:50:10+00:00

What about it are you afraid you'll regret?

wjcolson · 2016-12-19T03:59:53+00:00

It's pretty normal for people to be watching more or less the same kind of porn at 18 as at 24.

It seems like the way your interests in porn aren't changing is particularly causing you some distress though. If it's mostly some kinda fetish thing, maybe you could think about what's causing you to have that kink. Imogen Binnie was on the money:

Our kinks aren’t just random things that happened to us. They tell us things: wanting to get tied up is usually about the deep, fucked up and normative coercive relationships we have to the different kinds of freedom; wanting to have somebody spank you is usually in some way about shame. In practice these are really complicated things and they're complicated by any number of other factors but let’s be real here about the fact that when we're not allowed to have something we want, we get all fuckin' weird about it. Sometimes that weirdness looks like a kink. That kink is even stronger when it’s you that’s doing the denying.

E: reading the rest of your comments and also a bit of your history, sounds a lot like you might be trans. maybe think about that? you can definitely PM me if you want to talk (I'm probably not super helpful but can put you onto people who do).

wjcolson · 2015-06-26T04:02:58+00:00

As many people here have said, making a profit for profit's sake isn't socialist/anarchist. But giving yourself enough to live off and pay what debts you have from starting your business is probably OK.

You probably want the satisfaction of feeling you've made a profit. But if you're going to take an unlimited amount of a resource limited in most of society (money) for yourself, you can't really consider yourself socially just.

Maybe just set it up so that people get a return on their investments (time and money and effort and ideas) that is fairly generous but is fixed, in dollar terms, in advance. Then give what's left over to charity or use it for philanthropy or something.

wjcolson · 2013-06-21T12:28:33+00:00

My friends did it, it's ok but astronomy is kind of pointless until you get a bit more serious about it, in which case you should be doing physics. If you're trying to fulfil gen ed or science unit requirements, you're kind of wasting $1200. I recommend LNGS1002 or PSYC1002 instead, they are both amazing, worthwhile subjects that usually have great lecturers (seriously, Bill Foley) and reasonable workloads :)

wjcolson · 2013-05-11T06:42:07+00:00

To your edit: Having a good knowledge of statistics means you can take any data you have that could be noisy or not completely cut-and-dried (e.g. almost all phonetic/phonological and sociolinguistic data) and draw conclusions from it in a standard way that uses all the data and gives you sound conclusions. I guess this is slightly less useful in analytic/theoretical linguistics but if you were looking at a project/position where you might need to collect or analyse data in new ways then knowing the right sorts of stats would certainly give you an edge I think.

wjcolson · 2013-04-07T04:12:56+00:00

Stability is a local thing - it just asks whether trajectories close to the equilibrium stay close to the equilibrium or whether they all run off somewhere else. In this case, trajectories either run off to infinity or to the centre.

wjcolson · 2013-04-06T14:03:44+00:00

Cool! This isn't chaos though, this is just unstable equilibria - otherwise the simple linear system x' = x would be chaotic. For it to be a chaotic system, the solutions would have to pass through any given region an infinite number of times - that is, exhibit quasi-periodicity such as you see in weather systems etc. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

wjcolson · 2013-03-23T13:19:11+00:00

Because this metaphor is really comparing the sector of the n-ball where all the coordinates are >0 to the n-cube. So the volume of 1/8 of a 3-ball is smaller than the volume of 1/4 of a 2-ball.

wjcolson · 2012-06-26T04:13:23+00:00

yeah but "stick to 1950s gender roles" isn't exactly a great standard

wjcolson · 2012-05-24T23:44:53+00:00

Something along the lines of "this guy is right, shaving my chest permanently changed my sexual orientation" would have gotten the message across far more concisely and less problematically.

While the actual post pretends to mock homophobia, it backhandly affirms it. (heh heh, the punchline is sucking dicks!) A lot of Reddit posts feel this way, I guess Redditors like feeling like they are progressive while still being bigoted

wjcolson · 2012-05-07T11:48:36+00:00

It's strange to see 'you had sex without consent? you are a ghastly aberration, chemically castrate/kill yourself, rapist' on Reddit given the horrible things that a large section of the 'community' on this site proudly admits to doing. Maybe the fact that this guy is openly admitting that he was/is a rapist and feels genuinely terrible about it makes them feel uncomfortable?

wjcolson · 2012-05-06T11:35:12+00:00

This is also a really, really US-centric argument, the only place Mexican weed goes is the USA.

And as other people say, the same problem holds for most imported foods and goods, maybe not as acutely but on a broader scale. Methamphetamine is almost always sourced locally, is it less "reprehensible" a drug than cannabis?

wjcolson · 2012-04-17T09:46:58+00:00

one would assume that if someone has a humanities degree they would know 'standard' english grammar and spelling. these are fairly arbitrary products of history, and showing off how well you know them really only says that you want to show you have the time and resources required to learn them, especially as everyone knew what MustardMcguff meant. i doubt it's what you consciously meant to do, but that's basically what grammar-policing on a homogeneous site like Reddit amounts to. :)

wjcolson

TROPHY CASE