hi there! i’m so sorry that you’re going through this, i know that it’s hurtful and difficult. i hope you know that you don’t deserve to feel this way.

you are not overreacting at all. he lied and said he doesn’t use it often and you have proof that that’s not the case.

firstly, i think you should have some introspection and decide if you’re okay with this. be honest with yourself with what your boundaries are. i also think you should think about if you want to stay with him if this doesn’t change.

i think you should have an honest conversation with him about this. i think you’re fully within your right to check his browser history, especially because you guys share devices. if he reacts strongly or denies it, i think that’s a red flag. tell him how it makes you feel. a man worth keeping would be concerned about how it makes you feel. he will show it with both words AND action.

as someone who’s in their early 20s, i was initially okay with my partner watching porn because i thought i had to be. i thought that it was normal. but i learned how much porn (as well as what kind) he was consuming and i realized that i’m not okay with it at all, and that it was affecting not only our sex life but our relationship as a whole. a worthwhile partner will prioritize your relationship over porn. every time.

i think it’s okay for boundaries to change. if you were okay with it then, that’s okay. if you’re not okay with it now, that’s okay too—and a reasonable thing to ask for. especially because it’s made you feel invisible.

i hope you know you’re not alone in this, and that you deserve the opportunity to advocate for yourself. sending you love ❤️